Why do you think so many people have anxiety these days?

[TitaniasAss]

Or do you think it's just become more recognised? When I was young I remember my mum describing a neighbour as 'living on her nerves' which I think probably meant that this woman suffered from anxiety.

I don't suffer myself, I do get anxious about the things most people get anxious about eg driving test, exams etc but I don't think that's unusual. I work in a secondary school and we have so many children with SEMH and anxiety issues that it makes me worry for their future.

I used to work in a primary setting a few years ago and I can remember an 8 year old telling me that they were having a panic attack because of their anxiety. It was awful to me that a child that young even knew what a panic attack was.

I absolutely do believe that, for teens, social media plays a huge part. Why so many adults?

Sadly it appear to be the case with certain diagnoses. We like to excuse ourselves out of doing things due to numerous ‘medical diagnoses’. I also think for some people it allows a level of control over others. You have to do what someone wants or you ‘trigger’ them. I deal with complaints a lot in a new job and quite honestly, it’s astonishing the way some people think. Perception and my truth are now getting in the way of fact. One person told me of their anxiety and told me what an employee had said to them and they were specific in the phrases they used, I listened back on the call and specifically discussed the phrases they claimed had been used at which point I was told that was how they ‘felt’ due to their anxiety and autism. Yet they said categorically this is what was actually said to them. It’s so dangerous and we need to discourage situations like this. Yes we all feel differently and respond to situations based on perception but we now encourage this idea of my truth and it doesn’t seem to matter who it impacts because we can’t be seen to deal with truth incase
it causes offence.

Too much screen time, mobile phones, everything being online, social media, constantly getting things you want without having to wait doesn’t make you happy even things like the next episode of your fave tv show “binge” watching, binge eating, not in touch with nature, not doing much physical exercise like walking in nature, not appreciating the planet, animals and flowers, constant comparison and consumerism, no sense of purpose, not helping others, selfies and self obsession. A huge mix of the above.

Because it's a universal human condition. The notion that nobody should ever experience it is fairly recent.

I think humans need a certain amount of anxiety to function. 1'000's of years ago it would protect us from dangers like being eaten wolves, starving to death etc. More recently our grand parents were anxious about genuine life and death things such as being bombed in night, wondering if family will return from war, will children survive to adulthood or succumb to Polio/TB/Typhoid etc.

We now have such a safe life we generally have no need to be anxious about life events that could kill us or our families. But, as humans, we still biologically need that anxiety and latch on to insignificant things such as do I look attractive, am I wearing fashionable clothes, how many followers on instagram etc. I bet refugees fleeing e.g Syria don't have the same anxieties that we do living our nice comfy wealthy lifestyle. (Wealth - health care, food, housing, employment, money for nice to have things e.g Netflix).

I have GAD all my life. As a child I suffered in silence. No one would have listened. My DS had anxiety and we sought help. He has Aspergers.
I think a lot of autistic adults are undiagnosed.

I think people are encouraged to talk about it more, people have the words to talk about it, and it’s socially acceptable to talk about it. Also there is a bit of a trend.

I have a phobia so I experienced anxiety through that when I was a kid, but I couldn’t talk about it because I wouldn’t have known what to say except that I was getting breathless. I was assessed for asthma, but nobody ever called it a panic attack. I think some of these things are easier to cope with if you can just call them what they are, but sometimes talking about it more doesn’t help at all.

I'll also add to @ChillysWaterBottle post about the unnaturalness of our world now, that children's early lives are also quite different to what nature intended. Lots of them in nurseries from a young age with a rotation of caregivers, which is quite unnatural, separated from their parents for most of the day. Then intergenerational family groups are way more separated, so family units are more isolated. You need a two income household - parents working long hours, stressed. Then when the kids are teenage they live their lives mainly through a screen, comparing themselves to edited, curated images.

I don't think it's anyone individual's fault, but kids are growing up more and more detached from our natural setup/how we're evolved to be bought up, so I'm not surprised MH issues are skyrocketing.

Anxiety is a real thing but so is nerves. I think there's a golden window in a normal childhood for helping children and teens step slightly out of their comfort zone and learn to overcome those nerves and if for whatever reason that doesn't happen that person can go on to suffer anxiety. But it's more complex than that, if you suffer a traumatic event then thst can lead yo anxiety and you need support to come to terms with it and move past it, there just isn't the support available. Add in great pressures of online life, lack of downtime etc and it's not a surprise. Parents need to be limiting social media and phone usage. They need to be keeping teens busy and active. They need to teach social skills. The trouble is a lot of parents are also suffering with their own issues, and lack / or are unable to model many of these skills.

Although we had things tougher physically, I do think that modern life is far more stressful. It’s much faster-paced. There is constant stimulation everywhere - more people, more noise, more traffic, more colour, more ‘flashy’ signs and beeping noises etc. It’s completely overwhelming at times and I can completely understand why a person might only feel ‘safe’ in their own home.

There is more pressure on parents (okay, on mothers) to be perfect, never let their babies cry, have them joined at the hip, breastfeed, feed them only home-cooked organic meals etc. All while looking like a supermodel and never aging. They’re expected to be top of their career tree, while also being a perfect, attentive parent and have their shit together at all times. And don’t get me started on mobile phones and social media!

I agree with the medicalisation of anxiety and the lack of resilience in young people. But we (the generation who have raised these young people) also need to hold our hands up and admit that we fucked up. We were told that any negative emotions our children experienced would cause ‘trauma’, so we protected them from that. Even trivial things like making sure everyone gets a prize during a game of pass the parcel has deprived kids from feeling and dealing with disappointment. There are a thousand other examples of this: breaking your back to make sure they have everything on their Christmas list, non-competitive sports days, everyone being given a role in the Christmas play, ‘Star of the Week’ certificates that every child gets for something or other, taking them on a special day out to cushion the blow of them not being invited to another child’s party, cooking them a special meal because they’re not particularly fussed on what you’ve made for the rest of the family…

We have ended up with an entire generation who just cannot cope with any negative feelings at all. And we did this. We got it wrong. I’m not suggesting we should go back to the 1950s and brutalise kids, but we’ve definitely gone too far the other way.

My dd3 stems from undiagnosed ADHD and Asd (currently on a long waiting list) and an absolute shit unsupportive school. Also has diagnosed PTSD from the absolute shit storm of the past 5 years including her dad dying very quickly and suddenly from cancer in the midst of the pandemic, unable to come to my hospital wedding because of restriction and because of self isolating because he was so ill she couldn’t live with me for 2 weeks until the day he died. It was awful for her., she and her sister were also groomed earlier in the year by a professional man who really should have known better and we had police and social services supporting us who btw were absolutely brilliant. Then the total rejection by her bio dad .

she is 14 and getting ZERO help, none of us are.

im sure the school and other people look on us as being weak and pathetic but my dds anxiety and panic are genuine.

I think it's become a defence against what people don't want to do. Don't want to do that difficult or scary thing? Say "I can't I have anxiety" and there's no come back as we have to be kind.

@macap Apologies if any of my posts come across as minimising, I absolutely believe that children can and do experience anxiety as this can be incredibly difficult - for children and their parents. My point was that anxiety is on the extreme end of the emotional spectrum, the same way depression is. We have developed this medicalised language as a society where we are quick to label emotions which are very normal for the circumstances (e.g nervousness before school exams) and this can be disempowering for children and make matters worse. Feeling strong emotions is part of the human experience and part of emotional regulation is being able to tolerate this, and understand that emotions come and go.

Of course for some children/ people, like in your experience, there is a more serious issue which needs help and support. Particularly when ND is involved. No blame or shame should be put upon parents who are trying their best.

I think that having an explanation and understanding of why you feel and act the way you do is generally a positive. The posts giving nonsense stats about how many % of diagnoses of anxiety are "real" are reductive, not helpful and are dismissive of people dealing with anxiety.

My daughter has several diagnoses that are considered "popular" ADHD, Autism and anxiety. Diagnosis of Autism aged 8, ADHD and anxiety at 12. She struggles yes, but at 18 she is at university, living in halls, she is doing well, settling in after a difficult start. She has help and support in place to manage the change of living independently and studying. Specialist mentors and adaptive software. This means she is more likely to succeed and get a good degree in a subject she is passionate about.

Anxiety does not mean you are not resilient it means you need to recognise your triggers and how to manage feelings. It might mean you need medication or to ask for adjustments and understanding but it doesn't mean you become incapable.

I am incredibly proud of my anxious overthinking daughter she keeps going and keeps challenging herself and knows herself well. She is a great advocate for neurodiversity and looking after your mental wellbeing. Anxiety is a barrier but with proper support in place it is manageable.

I was in discussion with a prominent figure last week who was saying that even having been born shortly after WW2, and living through the Cold War, current times are scarier than he can remember. (And he is in the sort of job where remembering the state of the nation during different periods is important.)

No jobs for life, students leaving uni in massive debt, house prices, cost of living, climate change, Putin, waiting for the next pandemic etc. Being fed to us relentlessly by media.

Exactly. Pathologising a normal and evolutionarily useful feature of human emotions is a really, really bad idea. Once you are anxious about being anxious (and validated by society in regarding any anxiety as something to be scared of) it's a very difficult spiral to get out of.

Don’t worry it wasn’t your post really. I think it’s how everyone views childhood anxiety tbh. It’s taking me a long time to just focus on my children and block out the ill thought out opinions of others who think we just need to toughen up.

we did that, my daughter ran away from school in fear next to a busy road. It was deemed too risky.

It is incredibly difficult to access any help so the anxiety grows and grows. She has her ADHD assessment next week so will be interesting to see what the outcome is though I think we’re all in agreement that she does have it. They’ve also said she shows ASD traits (I personally don’t see this as evidently as ADHD but I am no professional!)

sorry if it came across like I was singling out your post, I wasn’t.

I find it hard to connect with a number of these posts. I have 3 children in their 20’s, none use social media beyond as a basic means to communicate with their friends. The only social media I have is Mumsnet.

The way we brought them up isn’t that different to my own childhood; lots of sport, a focus on family time and lots of time together outdoors. Social media is pretty much an irrelevance in our lives. I read an actual newspaper every day, just as I have since I was a teenager so I don’t really see all this “noise”. Why not just switch it off?

What often happens is that meds “sort” the ADHD and the ASD starts screaming out.

Exactly

When I was a teen we never used the word anxiety but accepted feeling nervous occasionally as a part of life

Oh goody something else to contend with. 🙈

Social media, and the fact that it is socially acceptable/soft parents allow teens to opt of anything that makes them nervous. That and small worlds - limited socialisation with anyone outside school and immediate family.

Surely 3 children in their 20s aren't telling you everything they do online

Your post is a bit boasty

Feeling worried/anxious/nervous about exams or other difficult situations is entirely normal, and a world away from having a debilitating anxiety disorder.

At its worst for DD she couldn't go anywhere there were strangers, couldn't eat outside the home (even food prepared inside the home) or use the toilet outside the home. She worried about insects and bushes 'attacking' her. Her mind leapt instantly from 'this might happen' to 'this did happen'. She could hardly function.

Even now 5 years later with lots of support it is still there. She has got better at squashing or ignoring it for periods of time, but by late afternoon she is exhausted from the effort of this and collapses. We have to structure life so essential things get done such as college, but that means weekends are for recovery so there is limited 'fun'. We are about to go to the theatre for the first time in 5 years. She used to love going before.

She hates her anxiety, but she ploughs on.
She is one of the most resilient people I know.

This, rather than it being ‘on trend’ or undiagnosed before.

We are using words like ‘triggered’ and ‘boundaries’ that previously would have only been used in a therapeutic setting to describe normal feelings and experiences.

I think a lot of it is the way Gen Z have been raised — pampered by helicopter parents who do everything for them and protect them from the slightest discomfort. Couple that with 24/7 news designed to be alarmist and constant exposure to judgement on social media and boom, you have your anxiety epidemic. Covid lockdowns lit the touch paper.

@macap I think these sort of debates tread a fine line - there absolutely is a need for psychological support for children, the wait lists are appalling!

The notion of having to ‘toughen up’ in response to any mental health difficulty / distress is problematic and unhelpful. I think the over medicalisation of emotions is a separate issue but they often get conflated. There is no shame in seeking support, it just shouldn’t be as difficult to access it.

Best of luck for your daughters assessment next week and I hope she gets the support and understanding she needs.