Why do you think so many people have anxiety these days?

[TitaniasAss]

Or do you think it's just become more recognised? When I was young I remember my mum describing a neighbour as 'living on her nerves' which I think probably meant that this woman suffered from anxiety.

I don't suffer myself, I do get anxious about the things most people get anxious about eg driving test, exams etc but I don't think that's unusual. I work in a secondary school and we have so many children with SEMH and anxiety issues that it makes me worry for their future.

I used to work in a primary setting a few years ago and I can remember an 8 year old telling me that they were having a panic attack because of their anxiety. It was awful to me that a child that young even knew what a panic attack was.

I absolutely do believe that, for teens, social media plays a huge part. Why so many adults?

Yes this is so true.

I think it would be fair to say that there are many illnesses that are just as ‘self-created’ as anxiety disorders, perhaps sometimes stemming from similar roots, such as childhood events or traumas, like those caused by smoking, alcohol, unhealthy eating, sedentary life, etc. Basically maladaptive coping strategies. Mental illnesses can have very real physical effects, too.

Luckily anxiety IS very treatable and manageable, but it can be extremely debilitating. Mine peaked following several difficult life events over which I had little control. It was then a long climb back to decent mental health. It takes time to learn how to cope with and recover from mental health problems. Even if it was 100% self inflicted we’d still need to learn how to change thought patterns and unhelpful behaviours. So while I agree that avoidance feeds anxiety, blame is unhelpful. Better to focus on supporting people to feel empowered, confident and able to learn healthy coping strategies.

I’m in a couple of minds about this. I know that I would not want to be a young person today. A friend’s daughter did spectacularly well in her GCSEs (9 9s and an 8) but then was worried that the 8 wasn’t good enough. An 8 is a bloody A*! But there are young people who feel like it isn’t enough.

My A levels were okay but not amazing. My university course wouldn’t have accepted me today. Children have to perform and succeed at all times.

On the other hand, I think that the younger colleagues who told a senior colleague that she was “making their anxiety spike” showed very little empathy for their manager (this happens sometimes but it needs to be sorted out). It may be that the employer hasn’t made it clear what is and isn’t acceptable in the workplace. This is the problem with the concept of “bringing your whole self to work” - realistically, an employer wants the cheerful, hardworking part of someone, not the part that falls to pieces if someone tells them how to improve.

Using therapy speak with a manager is difficult and sometimes downright dangerous. A manager who wants to tell you how to lay out slides may be ill equipped to be helpful in this situation (and, frankly, I have had managers who would have weaponised it).

Absolutely. And I agree with everything the psychologist above said. (I’m not a psychologist - as is probably clear from my clumsy language! But I work alongside them and mine was a very simplified version of what I understand from them.) ‘Self-created’ perhaps isn’t the right word. Maybe self-perpetuating. Otherwise why wouldn’t everyone who’s had difficult life experiences have severe anxiety and how would there be people who are cured? (I am one of them)

It IS treatable, we do have agency, and anti-anxiety meds are not the long-term answer.

I’ve had anxiety since being in Primary school but didn’t even know it was anxiety until I was an adult. Even as a teenager they tried misdiagnosing me with an eating disorder, it took years to get any help even when I was going to the doctors constantly. One doctor gave me antacid tablets and told me to eat more. But my anxiety is based around being scared of throwing up in public. So when I was in primary school I remember I’d eat a packet of crisps at the school disco then have to sit with a teacher for about half an hour to calm down because I’d suddenly feel scared at how busy it was. Obviously my experience had nothing to do with social media. I think that can be a cause but it’s too easily mentioned as the reason. Anxiety is a physiological thing so it’s the combination of nature and nurture.
I think it’s more recognised and diagnosed now which is amazing, and it’s good when children are aware what’s causing it, because you can do strategies like breathing techniques with them that will really help them learn to manage it.
I think it can also be too easily self-diagnosed. Like someone feels a bit nervous and says they have anxiety- that does my head in as it downplays the paralysing fear some of us have to deal with. But I think that’s more the attention seeking few than the majority.

@Wantitalltogoaway There are so many factors that affect whether anxiety can be managed (or ‘cured’) or not. Someone’s background and history, previous and current trauma and adversity, social circumstances, social support, personality factors (perfectionism, self critical), level of insight and motivation for change, financial situation, having a safe and secure home, access to green spaces, coping resources… plus the postcode lottery when it comes to accessing NHS mental health services. Even if a person is offered therapy for anxiety, whether that therapy will be successful is dependent on so many factors… the type of therapy, amount of sessions, relationship with the therapist, being in a stable enough place in life to be able to actually engage in the intervention rather than fire fighting / crisis mode.

It’s great you managed to overcome your anxiety! I am at heart an eternal optimist and I’ve never met a person who I thought was ‘hopeless’. Believing that you have agency and autonomy can be so important, it is very difficult when people feel disempowered and bogged down by life.

It is perfectly natural to feel anxious, especially about having to do new and difficult things, but we have not taught our youngsters how to handle this at all well.

Suffering anxiety after a traumatic experience is very different from, and has to be treated differently from, suffering anxiety because you are shy or unconfident.

I do think there needs to be a change of emphasis from treating it as a debilitating condition that excuses you from your responsibilities (as in the case of the young girl in the OP) and more positive (and robust) guidance and support to help people manage it, extend themselves more and become more resilient, and probably happier too.

I believe we live in a complex world that has evolved beyond our brains. I struggle immensely with anxiety. With or without medication, it impacts my life every day. I take active steps to manage it - I work, I keep a decent house, etc - but I can’t do spontaneous things, I’ve never travelled outside of Scotland, I don’t go on holiday, I don’t go to clubs, I don’t do anything outside of the carefully crafted control I have.

But I believe I wouldn’t be so stressed if we still lived in small communities, with family and neighbours on the doorstep that you knew, people you’d talk to day in and day out, a simple lifestyle. I’m thinking pre-industrial revolution life. Now do t get me wrong, I don’t wish to hark back to the days of illness, disease, hardship and woes…but I think the community aspect of life would make mental health better. There is a lot of inbuilt stress in life now. Even just driving a rush hour road, or worrying about family who may now live hundreds of miles away rather than on the doorstep. We have manufactured mental hardship into life. Some people thrive. Others don’t.

Living by the seasons is something I think we miss now too. But that’s more of a personal one as part of a pagan identity. But I’m sure the same applies to other faiths.

I really agree with this. I think there was a lot of structure in life previously. People didn’t travel far from home, knew their neighbours and had people they could rely on. The norms of behaviour were well understood and adhered to. The church provided structure and context to life. Cooking was not a complex operation and depended on seasonal ingredients usually grown nearby. There were many other worries and stressors of course, but by and large life was an awful lot simpler and shorter. We have better health care now and life is far more comfortable but the simple joys of life have been lost. Whatever comforts we have now we take for granted and always want more and better. We don’t care for others and have become much more selfish, greedy and without a purpose in life other than gratifying our appetites.

I think we are often too tolerant of fear as a reason to not do something. I know several women who are intelligent, successful etc but terrified of driving on a motorway. Does anyone love driving on a busy grey motorway in peak rush hour? I think its somewhat stressful for most people, but most people just do it and realise it’s fine. I think as soon as you start making allowances for your fears it easily gets out of control and as a result you never build any resilience to any kind of stress. You have to feel fear, do the thing, succeed and then realise you CAN do it even if it’s not easy for you. I think society and also parenting today just allows giving up at the first sign of difficulty and as a result many people never learn resilience…

@Tealeavesinthecup @BlueEyedLeucy I agree with you to some degree but don’t you think that even if you lived back in those days you would still be too nervous to go out and actually meet and build relationships with your neighbours?? Why would you be able to do that then, if you feel too anxious to do it today? Do you believe people were nicer? I suspect the opposite is true as resources would’ve been scarce so realistically you’d have been more likely to have been robbed and injured whereas today the worst someone might say is ‘sorry I’m a bit busy today’!

This is all going to come down to individuals but I don’t have an issue with talking to people. I just struggle with the speed of life!

I don’t have a problem with going out or interacting with people. I just find modern life incredibly stressful and fast paced, and generally quite soulless.

Psychologist here. Anxiety from childhood due to environment. Only as an adult and emerging practitioner did I learn to turn it down. I still use tactics when triggered, especially 7/11 breathing, spending longer on the outbreath to calm with the parasympathetic nervous system. Deep breath in oxygenates the body.
In my experience [I'm 55] it's a weakness like my left ear infections. Ongoing self care helps, especially NSDR, 🧘‍♀️ nidra and sleep meditation. However, it's part of me that I accept and manage as best I can.

I also lead a simple life that's structured.

Pressures from school from the very tiniest age are fuelling this "anxiety epidemic." In order to be a happy adult you need to have had a childhood rather than being squeezed into an academic straitjacket that has been politically motivated by the likes of Gove.
Let children be children then they will grow up to be happy adults.

I feel so sorry for people with real GAD. I so tired of people claiming any problem they have is anxiety.

I have a relative who has self diagnosed with. It's gad and ptsd. Her real issues is low self esteem.

Her favourite thing to say to any thing "oh I can't my anxiety won't let me".

And some people believe the earth is flat...

It's rarely the people with conditions complaining about others. Do stop feeling sorry on our behalf. It would help us massively if you stopped pushing a narrative about falsehood as it undermines all of us.

With respect, although you're making some fair points here, if you've never experienced anxiety on a level that a doctor would diagnose as being a problem, your argument carries somewhat less weight. The process you describe, of needing to push oneself to conquer fears, is indeed a necessary part of life. There are a lot of misconceptions imo about people with GAD and similar issue using it as some sort of excuse not to push themselves in this way, but we do push ourselves, every day. We have to, simply to function.

Obviously there will always be some people who just retreat behind their anxiety and refuse to even try - my own mum, much as I love her, sadly falls into this category a lot of the time. But many of us with GAD battle anxiety over a whole ton of things in day-to-day life that 'most people' (nice bit of othering, btw) find easy, and on bad days it can be a constant battle not to give in to the anxiety and simply cease to function, so that we sometimes reach a point where a certain thing genuinely is just too much and we do have to give in and accept our limits and not do the thing. That's not the same thing as 'giving up at the first sign of difficulty'.

Society is so keen to tell us that we're just being wusses and making excuses because we can't be bothered to try. But it takes a bit more than some motivational-poster-style jargon to deal with genuine anxiety, I'm afraid. There's a lot more to it than 'resilience'.

You were much more pleasant @FestiveFruitloop towards that poster than I might have been. But I suppose there’s no point in gettIng angry at ignorance. I do get utterly sick of smug comments about ‘feel the fear and do it anyway.’ Many people, as you say, are doing just that when they so much as step out of the front door. If one more person utters ‘Can he not just …?’ about my son with anxiety and OCD, I think I’ll explode. Apparently I should just parent it out of him. I try to explain. They seem like they get it. Then they say something else stupid the next time I see them. I had OCD myself as a teenager and, while I’m about as much use as a chocolate fire guard when it comes to helping my child, at least I get it!

I think our children with anxiety are much braver / resilient in many ways than children who don't have the anxiety.
My DD has to squash/ignore her anxiety every day she goes to college, or goes to the supermarket, or eats out. Yet she pushes on through.

@TeenToTwenties really? Kids who just get on with the ups and downs of life are less resilient or brave than those who label themselves as suffering from anxiety? Interesting take.

Everything's relative though. My 12 year old son has barely been out of the house and hasn't attended school for months due to anxiety and OCD. When he manages to step over the threshold of his school, I will consider him incredibly brave. Braver than the kids who jump on the school bus every day without a second thought. Braver than the kids who were a bit nervous on their first day of school. And, for the record, he didn't 'label' himself🙄 You really haven't got a clue ffs.

Perhaps most people were always somewhat nervous of new situations. Especially young people who were stepping from a world in which they were protected by their parents, as I would hope most children are, into more adult environments like the interview for the first Saturday job. Confidence is built gradually. Skin deep (fake it til you make it) is fine but easily fractured.

Being old, when I was young, we took baby steps into the adult world, tentatively, and learned with each new encounter. I was definitely coaxed into venturing a little further out of my comfort zone each time by my mum, and occasionally put on the spot. It appears to me (admittedly now from a great distance) that the first time you hold a smart phone and say hello to the world, it swamps you like a huge wave. That sounds terrifying. No wonder that so many are paralyzed by it, or that there are so many trembles. And there's a complete lack of toleration; say or do anything slightly off-message/wrong and you are cancelled, immediately and pitilessly.