How to enforce vape ban in the house ?

[Stoppingvaping]

Both my teens vape. I’ve told them countless times it’s banned in the house. Every time I caught them in their room I confiscated and threw away the vape. They just get more. On one occasion dd was screaming at me as it was her last one and she hadn’t been paid yet.

I’ve stopped their pocket money but both have part time jobs.

They now have taken to vaping under the disguise of ‘going to the toilet/having a shower’ and then deny it but I can smell the vapes. I can’t tackle them physically to go in clothing pockets they are wearing and I’m just fed up and can’t think of what to do now ? They won’t follow this one rule? They follow every other house rule and generally behave well except for this . What can I try ?

I suppose it's a battle of wits here! What do you do for them that you can stop right now? Anything.... start with that. You go on strike if they don't comply. Do they contribute anything to the household pot? Increase that by the cost of their weekly vapes. Something like that.

Otherwise, confine to outdoors only or in their room with the window open.

It is your house. Your rules. How to enforce the rule is probably going to be a tough battle unless you take measures that will affect them otherwise.

When I initially found out they were vaping I did say I wanted them to give up totally but it’s clear now they will not accept that it’s bad for them so the rule was never in the house. They can go outside but they seem to want to assert themselves and their choice and do it in my house. It’s confusing as in every other way they behave well. I suppose this is some kind of addiction but I just don’t want it in the house.
Good idea about increasing the amount they pay I will try that.

Problem with vapes, they're like dummies. Constantly in hand and constantly sucking on them. At least with cigs it's a couple of times an hour or something.

TBH if they are good kids in all other respects then vaping in their room is really not the worst thing they could possibly do - think of what they COULD be up to!

However, you do have to assert your authority anyway. In addition to increasing the contribution, I was also thinking along the lines of (if they don't do it themselves already), not cooking for them - leave out the food and let them do it themselves), not washing, cleaning, giving them lifts anywhere things like that. Try one thing at a time on a sliding scale every time they defy you!

Wish you luck, but it's a fine line between being firm and assertive, or being authoritarian and alienating them.

I don’t want to be breathing it in that’s why I’ve been so strict as I don’t know the risks of the chemicals etc and they’ve chosen to risk themselves but I don’t want to breathe it in

How utterly disrespectful, immature, selfish and stupid. Vapes can cause lots of health problems.

They live in your house, they’ve been asked not to vape in the house. That should be the end of it. When did we turn into a nation of such arrogant, poor decision makers?

I’d tell them that they need to move out or respect house rules. Can they go and live with their dad?

To be honest, my main concern would be the lack of respect they have for your house and your rules. I think this is a deeper issue that you need to sort. Its your vaping rule now, what's next. I'd be strict, follow my rules or move out. I'd pack their stuff, its not acceptable.

This is what’s confusing me most as they’ve been fine with every other rule and are generally well behaved and polite. I have no idea what’s in vapes that is making them so horrendous about the issue

Can you compromise and let them do it in their room with the window open. It's an addiction but also a relaxing experience that they don't understand your drama over. Neither me or DH vape would prefer DS didn't went he's older however wouldn't make it a hill to die over. We also let guests vape in the house but no smoking.

Can you change the WiFi password and refuse to change it back until the vaping stop?

Set a password on Netflix Sky TV etc?

How old are they? Can you really still smell it if they just vape in their own rooms with the window open?

They are disrespectful of you. Your house your rules. I'd tell them they must stand outside to vape. If they refused the moment they are 18 they'd be asked to leave. Tell them you don't want to live in a house that smells of smoke or vape. I'd stop any pocket money too so if they want them they at least have to pay for them themselves.

Genius

If they are old enough to pay towards their keep they are old enough to leave and get a room.

Yes, I guess age is somewhat relevant?

If old enough to be paying rent then I would imagine they feel it's not bothering anyone in their rooms with window open? I'd be okay with that and I expect some of their mates' parents are, hence they're likely holding out. But I wouldn't want to be smelling it.

In their own bedrooms wouldn't bother me, I never understood this 'it's my house' response- it's their house too surely and was from the moment you decided to have dc, if you don't want then to vape in the communal parts of the house that's fair but their rooms are their personal space

16 and 18

Well, if the 18 year old wants to vape in the house she can move out.

How is the 16 year old funding her vape habit?

An adult and almost an adult.
Conversation needed, not "enforcement".

I don't think it's that deep.. if it's in theor rooms and not around you I don't see it as a major issue. NHS advice is that vaping isn't harmful to people around them. If they're paying board they might expect to have some choices what to do in theor space

I have to agree with this. I don’t know how the teens have been caught vaping in their rooms tbh. Surely no one walks in a teens room without knocking.

@Mickey79 because it absolutely stinks even with the door shut 😷

PT job plus I suspect they are sharing as well

I can smell it ! It’s sickly sweet and overpowering

You sound a bit hysterical about it to me. If they are vaping in their rooms what exactly do you think you are breathing in? The smell lingering doesn't mean you are breathing anything dangerous in.
At 16 & 18 you run the risk of pushing them away over something that isn't that big of a deal, would you really be happy about it if they moved out over this?
It's up to you how far you want to go to enforce the rules but if they are good kids in every other respect I would let this one go personally.