Tell me about your weekends with a non sporty young teen

[Tacocatgoatcheesepizza]

I just want to know if this is typical really.

DS is 13. Not into football at all and is generally not that active (does have a dyspraxia diagnosis) He goes to a tennis club on Saturday mornings (as long as it’s not raining) and we go swimming every week or 2 on a Sunday - he’s not a massive fan of swimming and he and his sibling mostly play and just do a few lengths of actual swimming!

He doesn’t mind doing things like bowling/crazy golf/cinema etc but apart from that he’s either gaming or watching YouTube (although he watches educational YouTube rather than total trash) obviously those things are expensive and we can’t do them all the time!! As a family we are not outdoorsy and don’t do ‘walks’ apart from the odd NT visit.

He has no interest in meeting up with school friends out of school - I have no concerns about this, it’s just who he is. He does game online with them sometimes.

Does this sound typical? I seem to be surrounded by people whose teenage boys are just playing sports all weekend.

Mine is slightly younger. He has friends over every other weekend for a couple of hours. Other than that he is generally on a screen , but often with friends chatting and gaming, or with his sister, or doing some sort of craft like painting minitures or making weapons from wood.

I can see our life being very much like yours in a couple of years OP. My two are not sporty, and I can see my now 11 year old giving up the one sport he does play by the time he's 13.

what you describe would sound pretty typical in a less sporty family. I get what you mean though - round here, everyone's weekends seem to be taken up by the multiple sports their kids seem to play.

if you want your kids to be more active, what about adding park run in? DH has just started taking our 11 year old and they seem to enjoy it.

That's how he spends his down time. I'd go mad if someone tried to control how I spend mine.

Yes, it sounds typical, and he's fitting in some sport activities too. I imagine he also has homework to get on with—this only increases to be fair. My teen has never been sporty, but he's into pursuits like camping, hiking, caving, etc.—obviously not an every-single-weekend activity, though.

We make outs leave the house everyday. Sometimes he meets a mate, other times he wanders around.
Otherwise he's in a screen.

Wanted to add that some gyms offer teen sessions after school and on the weekends too. Might be something to do together.

He’s 13 and would spend all his downtime in the sofa if he could so he does still need a little control I think!!

Should have added zero interest in crafts/lego anything like that. Which to be fair has been the case for many years, not just a teenage thing!

We’ve tried the gym actually, I had high hopes for this. Unfortunately due to his dyspraxia it just hasn’t worked - he has really weak core, hand and wrist strength etc and he found the gym really hard. (He has got some specific ot exercises to do) He also has some sensory issues and struggled with the noise and machines.

Do you think he would go to a climbing or rowing club? I think some teens think that if they are not into football or rugby, they aren't sporty, but there's a whole spectrum of activities. I think it's important to help them find the physical activity they do enjoy; it's potentially a lifelong skill to gain.

Do you mean after going to school with a trillion people all week? It's really okay to just chill.

DS is 12 and not sporty. We’ve joined a gym together and go swimming and on the treadmills. He and DH love ohotograohy and trains and planes so he and DH go and take photos of things, sometimes they go plane spotting at Heathrow for example. He goes on bike rides with his friends or is playing on the computer with his mates.

I see. Did he want to do it? Was there a desire from him to find something to do? It might be a case of trying a few different things to find the right fit.

He sounds pretty similar to my sons 14 and 16 - though the 14 year old is more sociable . Both have participated in various organised sport but stopped when it got serious !

As they get into the GCSE years they do need some down time . If he is happy , has friends at school and leaves the house during the weekend I think that’s fine . It’s only an issue if he’s not happy . At this age they tend to stop wanting to do activities with you anyway though I find food out is a great motivator

@ByGentleFatball I promise you, he has many many many hours of time to chill! Our sofa has a ds shaped dent in it 😁

Mine are sporty. Very sporty in DD’s case (competes at the top end of national). And yet they still manage to spend huge numbers of hours attached to a screen. Ds is particularly skilled at this as he can walk through the door at 12:43 and be playing Minecraft with 4 other people by 12:46.

Drives me up the wall!

That sounds tough. The swimming sounds really important is he has a weak core and wrists but perhaps ask him to do at least 10 lengths. My 13 year old does 30-40 lengths of the 25m pool as exercise when we go.

Are they any scouts or sea cadets near you ? Table tennis ? Youth club ?

Gym on a Sunday morning works well for my son as nobody else has got up and in there yet . Would be quieter and give him time to go at his own pace and build strength .

Rowing is a tough one - ds1 did it for 3 years - lots of training sessions . He gave up for gcse year

Mine is 13 and not sporty either. I'm divorced and have a chronic illness so anything active is done with his Dad. He cycles and swims. We go for a slow walk when I'm feeling up to it.

He got into dungeons and dragons which is brilliant because this is his social life. He meets up with his friends every few weeks. He also likes drawing and writing stories.

But a lot of the time he will rest and watch YouTube and he is mad for videogames.

He has autism too so needs his downtime. I think he's ok. He's a tiny bit overweight which is difficult with autism and food choices, but Hopi he'll lose it when he grows.

Yours sounds pretty normal to me.

They both have to do 12 lengths! Thats my rule and then I’ll leave them to play for the rest of it. That number is gradually increasing. I know if I try to force him to do too much he will end up refusing to swim so it’s a fine balance!

Hes excellent at table tennis and we play together. He would hate scouts or youth club or anything like that because thats just not who he is socially - he finds it very hard work!

I can only see 2 days a week where he would have full.days to do as he wished.

I have a non-sporty 14yo boy. He will go on a dog walk with a parent and occasionally on a jog on his own. Will go on a bike ride if we all go, but not mad on cycling. He likes ‘fun swimming’ but gets cold in the pool. Other than that he’s normally either doing homework or gaming (or reading just before bed).

none of mine have been sporty. The older two were musical and spent Saturday at music lessons. The youngest has a riding lesson at the weekend, he started with RDA years ago and moved to the riding school’s weekend lessons. We often do go out for a walk, perhaps to the super market and back if I just need one thing. Sunday evening he has youth at church but the rest of the day is down time, homework and possibly another short walk.

@ByGentleFatball so you are saying that you think a 13 year old should be allowed to spend all day gaming and watching YouTube all weekend every weekend? I’m afraid I cannot agree with that. If we’re not doing anything or people are unwell there may be the odd day that ends up like that but he genuinely wouldn’t leave the sofa if we didn’t plan something and that’s just not healthy.

He spends hours on the sofa as I’ve already said, I’m certainly not trying to fill his whole weekend. I was just trying to see if the amount he does is normal because as I said, I seem to be surrounded by friends with really sporty kids who spend the weekend being really active!

You say your son isn't sporty... and then say he goes to tennis every Saturday and swimming on a Sunday. Last time I looked both those activities were sport.

If a child isn't sporty, why push it? They're allowed to enjoy other things. Reading, crafting, gaming, chatting on line with friends, watching a film, cooking or baking... these are all things my teen does at the weekend.

I'm glad we don't have to rush around at weekends. I work full time and teen is in GCSE year, weekends are for recharging. I watch other people spending their weekends driving to away fixtures and standing beside freezing cold pitches and thank my lucky stars that I'm not one of them.

If he is excellent at table tennis then find a club and get him to join. It is an Olympic sport.