Eat piercing - DD

[Slowhorses1]

DD (8) is absolutely desperate to have her ears pierced. Tbh I don’t massively object to the idea of her having them done, but we’re not letting her for now her. Our decision is based primarily on the principal of delayed gratification, as well as ‘mum and dads word is final on this one’.

All her friends are getting them done, but again, I keep telling her that different families have different rules.

The thing is, my arguments all feel a bit hollow because deep down I don’t feel like it’s a hill to die on. DH is a bit more hardline about it (for the reasons stated above).

When did your dd’s get their ears pierced? If they wanted them earlier than you allowed what was your reasons for not allowing it?

Dd had hers done in July last year. She was 4 weeks off 10.

I wouldn't have them done yet, they take way more than 6 weeks to heal and most schools don't allow them to be in for PE etc anymore so you need to be able to take them out.

I certainly wouldn't have them done before the 6 weeks holidays.

I think anything after about the age of 5/6 is fine if that’s their choice. However just prepare them for it hurting. I know someone who had one earring for months and child cried then wouldn’t have the other done or let mum touch it to take it out! That said, I have 13 piercings myself and standby the lobe is one of the most painful!

I was desperate to have mine done when I was a kid - whinged for YEARS but my mum really didn’t like it on young children. Anyway, I was finally allowed for my 10th birthday and, on reflection, I think that was a good age. I was old enough to understand how to look after them properly etc

So I have told my DDs that they are allowed from age 10 (if they want - they were less obsessed than me). One got hers done a couple of years ago at age 10 and the other is happy to wait until then too.

They should be old enough to look after them independently (clean them, turn them, take them out/cover them for PE etc) and also to understand the risks (infection, sepsis, them being pulled or torn out during horseplay/sport).

I think that's probably around secondary school age, but if you think she's there then I'd let her get them done.

My mum and my two sisters didn't have pierced ears but I was desperate for them.

Mum finally relented and I had them done on my 10th birthday.

Best birthday ever! 😁

Can you agree with her to have them done at a certain time like her birthday? Might stop the nagging lol

I think it’s pretty clear we’re not giving her a choice @BinkyStum .

10 was also what I had in my head. Lots of her friends have been having them for their 9th birthdays but she’s an August baby.

What are the school rules - will she be able to tape them for PE, or would she need to have them done in the holidays?

My DDs are younger but I've always felt like I'd allow it once they were old enough to look after them independently. And it wouldn't be a just because thing, it would be saved up pocket money, or a birthday/Christmas present. I don't have a set age in mind.

School seem pretty relaxed about it. No hoops and that’s about it as far as I can tell.

We did 10th birthday.

I found nearly all of the reputable places doing it with a needle (don’t use a gun) had a minimum age of 9/10 anyway. We had to upload her passport picture to prove her age.

Also she had just stopped swimming lessons. The lady who did the piercings said loads of people wait too the summer hols but that’s actually not good because swimming is a risk of infection and should avoided for a few weeks.

Most of my child’s friends were also getting it done at that age. Hardly any at age 8!

We let dd have hers done at the start of the summer holidays this year, she was 11. In hindsight I would have had them done the year before as her secondary school doesn’t allow earrings which we didn’t know at the time. She’s not supposed to but wears clear ones for school so the holes didn’t heal up being so new still. We had to change them for her starting year 7 which was a bit sore for her after only 6 weeks in of healing however 4 months in and they’ve healed fine and she can change them by herself now.

My younger dd will get hers done when she finishes year 5 (if she still wants to) so her ears have a full year to heal before they have to be taken out at secondary.

Dd had hers done last january so they would be healed for her 9th birthday february when she could have earrings as a gift.
She had them done at Claires which seems frowned upon on here but she had no problems, it was also a good price, I paid £53 which included the cleaning solution, a £10 voucher and free earrings each month for a year up to the value of £17 per month.

I’ve always said she can have them done in the summer holidays after primary school. She’s 7 at the moment and in a class of 11 girls no one has them done.

I remember hearing an article on ear piercing, where an ear surgeon said he would outlaw the practise for primary kids because he spent so much of his time repairing torn ears, or digging out ingrown earrings, and he begged anyone listening not to think if having their children’s ears pierced before they were 12. I wanted my ears pierced as a child, but my parents absolutely refused - I eventually had them done when I was a student at university.

DD has 2 holes in each ear (11yo) she had first at 5 when she asked and second at 10 when she asked.

They are earlobes and if she doesn't want them when she's older they will close to small dots that are barely visible (I don't wear earrings in my second and third holes and you can hardly see them)

I let her have autonomy over her own body within reason, and she knew it would be a needle as I would only take her to a proper piercing studio.

My daughter had to wait until she was 11.She then chickened out and had ears pierced aged 13.Really try and avoid for as long as possible .

My DD is 8, 9 in December. She had hers done in the summer holidays. We went to a professional piercing place and it was done via needle with titanium studs. There was no turning needed or maintenance etc other than using a saline spray. They healed within 3 weeks and at 6 weeks she swapped them out for clear retainers for school during the day and surgical steel studs on a night time.
I was pretty worried about it as she has eczema and allergy type skin but they’ve been fine from the day they were done.
She had been asking for a while and, I felt, understood the process. I was her age when I had mine done as well, and all her friends were getting them done at this age, probably as parents are planning big holidays in the older years. We hadn’t planned any foreign holidays or swimming so it was a good time.
I would use a professional piercer if you can. It was £65 including the studs but completely worth it.

Adding in she is responsible for sorting them for PE, she cleaned them etc after having them done (second holes, first ones she had some help but generally did look after them herself as she wanted them done and was almost 6) and she was pierced with and generally day to day only wears flat back labret style studs.

@sesquipedalian thank you. This seems like the strongest argument against getting them done.

@livanlaterlaterlater Im inclined to agree to leave it as long as possible, but why? What’s you’re reasoning?

My parents wouldn't let me for years - all my friends had them done sometime between birth-6 (different era!) and I was 12. I hated it and asked many, many,'many times. I remember all my friends getting friendship earrings one year and I couldn't get any. Still slightly annoyed lol.

My daughter started asking at 8 and I took her on the last day of school that year so she had the summer to heal before swim lessons etc. She is a responsible kid and took care of them herself and we've never had any trouble with them.

I personally think it's no big deal and I'm glad I didn't let it become a thing like my parents did.

A bunch of her friends got second holes recently (she just started s1) and I offered but she's not interested. She has to take them out a lot for dance so she says 1 is enough.

BUT - the only votes here are her parents. She's still little and obviously gets to have an opinion but not a vote yet. If you don't think she's ready for the responsibility then of course she shouldn't have it done.

My argument for delaying would be the position. I was happy that mine were perfectly central when I was 12 and had them done but as an adult I feel they are a millimetre too low. She'll be an adult for a long time so it's worth thinking about what your DD as an adult will want. Ear lobes change shape over time!

There was always pressure on me to get my DD's ears done from birth as I married into an Indian family. However I decided she'd have them done at 9 (she really wanted to) simply because I was 9 when I had mine done! It was absolutely fine. Took longer to stop being crusty than I expected (perhaps three months). You need to religiously keep up with the cleaning. We used salt water. But we've had no problems.