Eat piercing - DD

[Slowhorses1]

DD (8) is absolutely desperate to have her ears pierced. Tbh I don’t massively object to the idea of her having them done, but we’re not letting her for now her. Our decision is based primarily on the principal of delayed gratification, as well as ‘mum and dads word is final on this one’.

All her friends are getting them done, but again, I keep telling her that different families have different rules.

The thing is, my arguments all feel a bit hollow because deep down I don’t feel like it’s a hill to die on. DH is a bit more hardline about it (for the reasons stated above).

When did your dd’s get their ears pierced? If they wanted them earlier than you allowed what was your reasons for not allowing it?

My DD had them done at 9. I felt it was no big deal and as long as she wanted them and understood getting them would hurt I had no issues. I seriously disagree with Babies/young children who cannot consent/understand.

DD had them done a month or so before her 10th birthday. She was religious about cleaning them but it still took a good 4 months or so to heal. Ironically she rarely wears them now, just 2 years later!

I let DD have hers done aged six (nearly 7) at the beginning of the 8 week Summer/Christmas holidays as she had to be able to take them out for school sport. The most popular girl in the class had hers done and I thought I wasn’t even going to get in that game of who is allowed and who isn’t so when she asked I said yes straight away. I told her it would hurt like hell but up to her and she had to look after them. She was surprised when it didn’t hurt that much and she did look after them, no dramas. Unlike England it is totally normal where I live so no “chavvy/common” judgement.

I had mine done at about 10 in a jeweller's shop. I wouldn't even have thought of getting them pierced, but my mum had had hers done a few weeks before and was wearing some fantastic earrings. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks after my ears were pierced, the hole became a split. I have small earlobes, so they didn't have far to go before the earrings were in danger of falling out the bottom of my lobes. I had to let them close. I waited until I was about 14, had them pierced again and all was fine. I don't know whether it was the earrings I chose the first time. I was shown a selection of gold studs and, being a child, chose the biggest ones. They were still fairly small in the scheme of things, but perhaps not suitable for me. There's also a chance I was mucking about with them as I am a bit fidgety like that, but I don't remember!

@Flatandhappy this is what I’m torn between. Part of me thinks that on principal we should wait until she’s a bit older. But equally I don’t want to say no just because I’ve arbitrarily decided a certain age is right.

I also don’t think it’s a bad thing to say yes to something that seems like a big deal to her (but that Im not really too fussed about), so that when the really tough ‘NO’ decisions start happening she knows I’m not just saying no for the sake of it, IYSWIM.

It was a thing to get it done right after Y6 ended so they healed over the summer. Earrings were not permitted at primary school and only studs for seniors. That's what dictated the timing (though of course some girls did have it done earlier). I recommend needle over gun for sure.

I find it really weird to say no 'just because' when you actually don't object. There is no reason to do that other then to be the 'boss'

Last day of school before the summer holidays just after DD turned 10.

For us it was important that DD was absolute able to deal with it on her own, cleaning, storing the earrings, cleaning earrings etc. At 8 that would have been impossible.

Swimming - in a way they shouldn't go swimming, that's correct but as schools don't want earrings during PE there is no other window big enough to let them heal.