would you cancel Christmas if you could?

[ffsfindmeausername]

It always surprises me each year when engaging in conversation with people about Christmas at how many people say they really dislike Christmas, myself included if I'm honest. Everyone seems to say the same things that it's so stressful,expensive, pressure to make everything magical etc. Lots seem to say they wish Christmas didn't exist! I also feel this way and I actually dread Christmas coming around each year and feel huge relief once January comes around.
How many actually feel this way and if there was a national vote to cancel Christmas then would you vote yes?

Absolutely not. I love seeing all the lights and decorations - IMO ‘the bleak midwinter’ would be even more dreary without them. But we’ve never gone OTT with food or presents - I have never felt ‘pressured’ into excessive spending or the huge ‘piles’ of presents some parents seem to think necessary. And I keep the trad Christmas dinner fairly simple and stress-free - not with umpteen different veg and sides.

I love traditional carols but never play any until 1st December, which is when I also make the first mince pies. (With a glass of mulled wine!) And the tree (real) and decorations never go up before about mid December.
OTOH what anyone else chooses to do is IMO entirely up to them - whatever makes them happy.

I hate Christmas.

Why have we all got to put a tree up in our homes? It's mad when you think about it. At least I've got a fake one that's been going almost 20 years so it's no bother to put up. You'd look pretty grinchy not to do it. People would really wonder if you were ok if you didn't bother with it. It might be miserable for my teens if I didn't. So I will.

The pressure to buy people stuff. My mum doesn't want anything. Neither do I. For the sake of my teens, I'm buying my mum useful things she wants - like knickers and a nightdress. So I'll wrap this stuff up and be festive. My DH wants to buy me stuff and asks my teen DD to help. So, I've bought myself a couple of basics - a fleece, a top, some PJs and some oven gloves and given it to DD. I guess she'll quite enjoy wrapping it with DH. My DD wants a few bits and pieces - a bracelet, a lip gloss, clothes and some money. I would let her have these things, regardless of whether Christmas existed or not.

And the relatives and visits. If you want to see people/have a relationship with them, then do so. Christmas pressurises people to have a picture perfect family gathering. The poor bugger that has to host and cook all that. Many people have to visit or host really horrible relatives. The stigma of being alone on this one particular day is terrible as well.

It's become a deranged monster in the shops - if you need to buy something ordinary, you have to wade though hundreds of people buying stuff nobody wants. Then you have people on Christmas eve desperately buying up any old shite or spending ££££. For no good reason.

The only positive thing about it is the fact that I can stay home with my family. That's it.

@taxguru why can't you do that?

Emotional blackmail from relatives mostly along with a side helping of "we've always come to yours on xmas day, boxing day, NW day or whatever" and a bit of great aunt mabel will be all alone if you don't invite her, etc etc. That's why it was such a relief when none of that could happen with the covid lockdown christmas and we've really tried not to get back into that habit since, with varying degrees of success. One of these years, we're going to go abroad for Xmas and leave them to sort themselves out. Heartily sick of it all!

I always dread it in the run up but always love it in the end. It's precious time with DCs and DM.

No. It's the one thing that brings joy at a miserable time of the year.

@taxguru tell them no. You're not doing it.

Gosh no it's vital for me to have something to look forward too as we go to the darkest days of the year and that's what Christmas has always been about pre Christianity

I agree @taxguru , it's hard to opt out of what is a societal norm.

I could cope with a long Christmas period if it started a month later and went on throughout January, but people start early and then are fed up with it all by boxing day. Starting in autumn and then being over within a week of the actual winter solstice leaves a horrible bleak January, made all the bleaker by the contrast between the OTT December and everyone being skint and glum in January.

Humbug.

Yes Christmas really does start in Autumn now, and often there is stuff alongside Halloween decorations as early as September.
It just goes on forever!
Soon be the relentless Christmas music on the radio and in shops.

I hate how over the top it has all got. People seem obsessed. I try to be polite and say I’m having a quiet one when asked, if I’m honest and say I don’t have any family and when I did I still didn’t care for retailmas people are either offended or do the sad face head tilt and suggest I volunteer or spend the day with friends so I’m not alone. I make the best of every day and don’t need a mid winter full of tat celebration - if that’s all that gets some people through winter they maybe should take a long look at their lives. Whatever…but if they could leave me out of the madness and talk about something else through out November and December!

I’ve noticed in the last two years there’s a kind of aggressive ‘ I’ve got my tree up in November, what are you gonna do about it?’ attitude. These people also delight in telling you that they whip it all down on Boxing Day. 😂

It makes me feel selfish, which I'm really not. I work so hard to deliver Christmas for the entire family, and I wouldn't mind that if it was just my family. But as a PP referenced, other people's family are just THE WORST. I really resent having to share my Christmas with in-laws every fucking year. The obligation and expectation grinds me down.

Things I like about Christmas:

Two weeks off work
Having time to do things like go out for a walk every day/curl up with a book in the afternoon
Lots of nice food around
Tree, decorations, candles etc to make the house warm and sparkly
Breaks up the endless winter a bit

Things I can't be doing with:

The over-the-top nonsense of it all. Just too much STUFF
Adverts, marketing, Christmas bloody music everywhere from September
The way said marketing has conspired to make lonely or poorer people feel completely stigmatised by having no one to spend it with/not being able to afford it when none of it matters.

The over-the-top nonsense of it all. Just too much STUFF
Adverts, marketing, Christmas bloody music everywhere from September
The way said marketing has conspired to make lonely or poorer people feel completely stigmatised by having no one to spend it with/not being able to afford it when none of it matters.

I so agree with this and it’s not even necessarily lonely people but just people who prefer to be alone. Some Christmases I’ve wanted to spend alone and the way some people have reacted is so odd considering I live alone and I’m in by myself most days anyway.

Actually, yes, that’s a good point that I ought to have thought about before posting. I’m very fond of my own company and if I lived alone I can absolutely imagine wanting to have a perfectly nice Christmas day in my own house, with telly, books and food. I’d be totally pissed off with the myth of “poor lonely Lurking, on her own for Christmas, how sad”.

I like it but we do it pretty low key. I live quite far north and it’s sooo dark right now we bloody need something. I like that people are mostly off work (my mum was a nurse so I know not everyone) and I like the visiting and lights and brisk family walks and nice food. We invite friends round too so it’s not all family time.

It’s easy to say don’t do Christmas or scale it back but it’s near impossible to when others in your life have high expectations.

@SprinkleCake the others in your life can organise/do everything then. You just turn up.

Then you need to leave them doing it. Apart from gifts for the dcs and your parents, you can leave most stuff and let others do the organising, prepping, etc….

I know very well that saying No is bloody hard. I’m finding it extremely hard myself. But what a relief!

No! I love Christmas, starting to spot Christmas trees in peoples windows this week is giving me a little piece of joy☺️
Of course it's expensive especially if you have DC so can be a lot of financial pressure, and as a mum it's a lot of work particularly if you are hosting, but I still love it!
I do think shops start Xmas stuff too soon, but no doubt Easter eggs will be out in January so just have to roll with it!

I have really felt like that in the past but this year it's just the 4 of us and my teens have told me they want a relaxed day, a lie and do things a bit later this year and it's made me so much happier. I've really cut back on the amount things we're doing in the run up and the amount of pressure I normally put myself under.

I'm not a Christmas lover though.

People feel they have to make a big deal of it, rather than do what suits them, and they make it really stressful for themselves.

My mother was a total Christmas martyr, meal was essentially cooked the day before and reheated, when it was just a roast and veg for 5. I get it's hard if you have 20 coming and don't like to cook, but how many people do that scale now?

I've gone through phases of making Christmas lunch for 5, for just me, and now for 2. When there's kids it's magical, but with 2 adults it's now a roast chicken and bought fancy dessert.

With presents, again it's a big deal for kids, but what adults are really bothered? If you don't enjoy getting just the right present for everyone, do a theme - books, pjs or hat, scarf and gloves for every adult.

My mother made Christmas so stressy, it was supposed to be perfect, i just want it to fun for kids and relaxing for adults.

I was nursing over 40 years,so it was another day in the office. Sil used to squeak, but it's Christmas,you can't be working,Der, people are sick, have accidents 24/7. At the end of the day,it's a Sunday roast, and you can get together with the relations any time.

Hahaha
I remember the looks teen me got when I said something like Christmas is always a Sunday.
And I'm sure it's the dinner that always makes it feel like a Sunday.