Would you find it rude if asked about your salary

[YouFoundMe]

Would you find it rude if someone were to ask you what your salary is? If so, why?

Personally, I don't have an issue if someone asked me but because it's a cultural norm to not, I'd think 'oh that's taken me by surprise' ...

I do wonder when or how this became a cultural norm..

Yes, it's rude and no, I wouldn't tell them! I do discuss it with some friends and family but not in general. I don't think it's normal to ask someone what they earn, I wouldn't ask.

Overall I would say yes it is rude but also can depend on the scenario. A stranger/ acquaintance yes inappropriate but if it can up in conversation with a friend for example I wouldn't have an issue discussing it.

Yes, I’d be very taken aback and think it’s rude. I would discuss with some friends and family, though.

It’s rude and bad manners to talk about money at all.

Yes it’s rude. It’s none of anyone else’s business how much I earn as long as I’m not asking then for money.

I recently went onto a work plan at work. Not a huge change in hours but I was surprised how many colleagues asked outright about how much my salary had dropped as a result

Depends. We need some transparency in certain professions, where people more often than not, women could benefit from knowing what others in their industry are earning. If it’s someone being nosy, I wouldn’t share. If it could help someone coming up behind me to negotiate what they are worth/know that they are underpaid, I would share.

I think it's really important we talk about salaries - men do this more often than women and that puts us at an even greater disadvantage when negotiating salaries and getting paid what we're worth.

That being said, some people are just being nosey - and if you earn lots somehow everyone hates you for it. If there's a valid reason someone wants to know (considering going into my industry/has a family member that is/wants to know more about it) then I'm happy to share. If it's obvious they want to know in order to judge me (wow! Those are nice sunglasses, how can you afford them/what's your salary) then I'll normally laugh it off.

They probably want to weigh whether it’s worth it for them to negotiate similar. Surely there’s nothing wrong with replying, “20 percent”.

I don't think it's rude, but lots of people do and don't want to talk about money.

No, I’m an nhs nurse so our pay is common knowledge (although my banding isn’t I suppose). I would never ask someone else’s salary though.

Public sector salaries are public knowledge (rightly). All someone has to do is ask what you do and they can find out at least approximately what your salary is. If they know the right questions to ask, they can find the exact amount with a couple of clicks online. I’m not shy about my salary for that reason- no point.

This will likely be a private / public sector difference. I've always known what my colleagues earn as the public sector organisation have a very clearly pay scale, the one I'm with now doesn't even have spinal points every one on grade 3 earns £28k, Grade 4 £33k grade 5 £42k etc

If you work in the private sector with bonuses and raises then people are likely to be more evasive.

I generally don't mind sharing, or think I don't, but someone actually did ask me this the other day, an old university friend who I like but hadn't seen for ages, in the context of me telling them I had got a pay rise which I was very happy with.

I did feel quite uncomfortable with the question because my salary, while I think quite good in my sector, is much much lower than most of my university friends and I felt he would be thinking "well that's not much to make a fuss about" and "goodness you really didn't reach your potential".

I wouldn’t mind at all being asked if it were done politely (as I’m secretly quite proud of it). Nobody has ever asked me though, so only my OH and my accountant know.
I would never ever ask anyone else.

Depends on who it is - a colleague, no problem (nhs payscale, they already have a fair idea). Likely to have a genuine reason for asking.

Hairdresser/school mum I barely know? That would be sheer nosiness, and rude of them.

I wouldn't care at all, most people know my job (Ward Sister) so could very easily Google my salary (53k). No one has ever asked me though (they've probably Googled it if they want to know).

It's probably seen as very rude. Why would you need to know? But if you really wanted to know you could Google my job title and employer and find out what I earn.

I have a friend who constantly pleeds poverty and she thinks I'm much better off than her, but I know her salary is more than mine and DP combined, we just manage our money well and prioritise differently.

The rudeness level would be based on me trying to work out why they wanted that information and what they intended to do with it.

(im assuming the person asking isn’t someone i live with who really has a right to know how much money is coming in)

are they going to use it as “evidence” I can afford something I’ve said no to in the future? Will it be the bases for expecting expensive gifts or financial help? Will it be to see if they are doing better than me and use it to feel smug or be insulting?

Or is it because they are looking at a job with a similar job title and are trying to gauge what they should be asking for/how well paid that role is?

or do they work for the same organisation and trying to see if they can ask for more money? Or as I work part time, do they want to know how the “pro rata” works out in practice/what you end up with.

rudeness level depends on context.

I wouldn’t answer. I don’t see any upside to knowing what our friends earn.

Absolutely not and it's rude in British culture to ask that question. It would get my back up.
Having said that, it's not a secret at work with colleagues, in the NHS, as all that info is in the public domain.

Congratulations! An increase should be celebrated, and potential is not always about money.

I wouldn't mind someone asking but its been this way for decades and I've only had people ask me twice, neither of whom were British.

No, not at all. I hardly make any money, but I don't need to. I'm not embarrassed by that.

A random person no. A colleague who was willing to trade information then yes. I’ve done this with a couple of colleagues, and we’ve managed to negotiate better salaries and benefits. Women have historically been paid less and sharing information more freely has started to change this in my industry. Graduates are much more open these days and it’s brought up discrepancies that have put the company in an embarrassing situation, but resulted in more equal pay.