Am I being really awful?

[thecatthepuptheduck]

I'm in a little bit of a dilemma and I would appreciate your thoughts please... I work full time as a TA so obviously have all the desirable holiday times off plus weekends/ evenings etc. great! I took on a part time job mainly to give a little bit of a boost to my pay ( I'm not paid during holiday times ) I've worked there in 2nd job for 3 years, my boss has been great, he's given me holidays that I've needed etc BUT I'm just getting tired of always rushing about doing two jobs, sometimes not getting a day off for 18dsys straight. I have spoken to my partner and he's very keen for me to quit as are my two children who end up getting picked up from school by my brother and then farmed about to the various clubs they do.

Anyway im rambling a bit but here goes... I've decided that I want to finish on the 18th dec that means I get a few days to myself before Christmas to do last bits and I also get to go to my work Xmas party after school on last day. Am I being very selfish leaving my boss in the lurch at the busiest time of year?

As long as you give the appropriate notice it's up to you when you leave.

I know I suppose I'm just feeling very guilty because Xmas week will be busy and they won't have time to hire anyone and the rest of the staff won't want more hours landed on them on either. It's just a bit misery

Just hand your notice and say goodbye. Kids won't be learning anything that week.

It's not the school job that's the problem. I want to leave the 2nd job in a food shop

What sector is the job? If it’s hospitality and the boss has been good to you then it’s a pretty shitty thing to do.

A lot of these hospitality job take the piss so much and usually I would say YNBU but if he’s been good to you to leave him in the lurch is a little harsh.

Sorry just read what the job was but I think my opinion remains unchanged.

It's a food retailer. I really feel so bad and maybe part of me thinks I should see out Christmas but then the other part of me thinks my kids/ family matter more. If I stay until after Christmas I'm missing out on being off with my partner/ kids who works away most of the week. Honestly it's a lose lose situation really.

Yeah, you're under no obligation to help him out beyond your contract, but you could be as decent as you say he's been to you.

If you're a TA through the week, I can't see why you can't go shopping after work finishes on a few days over the last couple of weeks of term (I doubt your directed time goes much past the end of the school day?), have the two week holiday and enjoy a slower (not shower*) pace without the second job in Jan going forward. Youre making the decision for long term reasons, not a couple of days off.

I can see you’re really struggling with this. Prioritise your kids, ultimately the good shop will just replace you. Maybe tell them tomorrow and give them as much notice as possible.

OP, your employer probably wouldn't give it second thought if they had to terminate your employment and were acting lawfully.

I think it's testament to your good character that this is a concern for you, but you're doing nothing wrong.

I really feel terrible, it completely goes against my nature to dump on someone like this so I'm not underestimating the enormity of the situation. I just don't know, I don't really want to work all the rubbish Xmas hours, I'm just so burnt out

Is it a large food retailer?

Do they take on temporary staff. If so perhaps one would be given a chance to shine and stay on.

I agree with others though, family first. Hard as that can be.

Good luck.

I know I suppose I'm just feeling very guilty because Xmas week will be busy and they won't have time to hire anyone and the rest of the staff won't want more hours landed on them on either.

Can you not give them more than your contracted notice that you plan to leave so they have time to recruit?

Medium sized, think coop type shop. We have a few temps that could potentially be kept on

I was going to say tomorrow evening when I'm in. That gives a few weeks. Does that sound okay?

what is your notice period? Will be cutting it fine if it’s 4 weeks.

Is it a close-knit outfit that might be able to get friends/ family in from the outside to tide them over? TBH if you are leaving anyway, I'd just talk to your boss about it, explain what working over that period would mean to your family and see what they say, or maybe find a compromise, like you cover a few shifts they can't get help for.

In reality, it's part of a boss's job to manage eventualities like this. Anyone could suddenly be signed off sick or whatever, and a business would just have to get through it.

It is only 1 week

Notice is 1 week but I'd be doing 4.5 if I say tomorrow

Honestly, I think it’s fine. I was thinking a shop that was just you and the owner working.

You’re fine, honestly.

Why don’t you hand in your notice and offer to leave sooner than the 18th December if that makes it easier for them to find someone to replace you.

I suppose I'm trying to get the best of both worlds by wanting the extra few pound- I actually sound horrible now that I've said that but the few quid will be helpful after Xmas ( don't shout at me 🫣)

I think giving 4.5 weeks notice is more than reasonable

Would it be worth chatting with your boss, telling them that you need to leave as you are feeling burnt out however offer to do the odd shift here and there over Christmas and come back as a temp when you need cash - basically leave it in a happy note and do a bit of ‘supply’ so to speak when you’re rested and needs be?

Also if it doesn't sound to silly, sometimes a new employee can be more of a hinderance when it's busy and they are asking lots of questions and making mistakes (like we all do when we're new)

I think don't worry, it'll create a much needed job for someone desperate to find work at Christmas.