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Unhappy with DIY job done by friend - how to address?

69 replies

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 07:33

We needed the bathroom redoing (mainly tiles). A good friend is an avid DIY-er / house doer-upper and has experience of doing this in their own homes so offered to do mine (paid but at a rate to reflect our friendship and the fact they're not a professional, but still not super cheap). I've visited their house and the kitchen and bathrooms look great.

Anyway, we're a few days into them doing the bathroom and it's awful. The tile patterns don't align well, the edging strips aren't cut to fit exactly (either under or over by a few mm and the corners weren't mitred, just cut straight and overlapping) and there's damage from where the old tiles have been removed.

I'm really, really unhappy but don't know how to address this without it being awkward going forward as they're a good friend (but rarely visit my house). I either will have to ask them to stop, pay for their time and get professionals in to rectify / finish the job or I let them finish and then get someone else in to start again. I don't trust that they can complete this job to a decent standard.
I don't have a lot of spare cash and have already spent hundreds on tiles and associated materials that may be wasted if we have to start over. Help - how would you address this?

OP posts:
November2024 · 16/11/2024 07:34

You have lost the friendship either way. Stop the work immediately. Refuse to pay.

whatwindow · 16/11/2024 07:36

You need to be honest and tell friend it’s best they do not continue the work as your expectations are different. Agree with PP that the friendship is probably over and was a bad idea to start with.
How were you due to pay friend?

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 07:42

Stupidly, I hadn't agreed a price in advance - they just said they'd do it at mates rates. I'm happy to pay for their time so far as I accept I've made the mistake entering into this arrangement, but fear that if they continue, I'm paying for more time that is unnecessary as I'll have to get a professional to correct, plus we'll be wasting more materials (tiles, grout, paint etc).

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Guavafish1 · 16/11/2024 07:44

Tell them to stop and give them something for their time

whatwindow · 16/11/2024 08:02

It will be much more costly if you let them finish the work and then have someone re-do

user6012 · 16/11/2024 08:09

What have they said? Presume they can see it's not turning out as a good job?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/11/2024 08:12

Tell them to stop, give them an amount of money you consider reasonable for the work they've done, and find a professional tiler to sort it out.

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:14

user6012 · 16/11/2024 08:09

What have they said? Presume they can see it's not turning out as a good job?

Nothing. I was out at work whilst the bulk of the work was done (yesterday) so I haven't actually spoken to them about it yet. All I had from them yesterday at 4pm was a breezy text, 'finishing for the day now. Will be back next week'. It's such an awkward conversation to have to have and I'm a wimp!

OP posts:
deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:15

whatwindow · 16/11/2024 08:02

It will be much more costly if you let them finish the work and then have someone re-do

I know. Just finding it really hard to know what to say to avoid bad feelings moving forward.

OP posts:
Dotto · 16/11/2024 08:17

Just say you've changed your mind completely about the colour scheme / tiles, and you need some time to decide what to do. Then pay them for their time so far (and then get someone else in). OR have it out with them and prob lose a friend.

CalicoPusscat · 16/11/2024 08:18

I think you need to text and say it's uneven so you'll just pay for time so far?

It is awkward but you need it done properly.

Supersoakers · 16/11/2024 08:18

Get a quote now and a timescale and pay them the proportion of what they’ve already done so they can’t overcharge when you then say you’re letting them go. Say you’ve changed your mind about what you want.
then pull off what they’ve done asap and get in a professional tiler.

Supersoakers · 16/11/2024 08:20

Whenever I’ve got a friend in it’s been a bad idea. Never do it now.

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:21

Dotto · 16/11/2024 08:17

Just say you've changed your mind completely about the colour scheme / tiles, and you need some time to decide what to do. Then pay them for their time so far (and then get someone else in). OR have it out with them and prob lose a friend.

I think this is the way forward to be honest. Thank you.

OP posts:
deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:21

Supersoakers · 16/11/2024 08:20

Whenever I’ve got a friend in it’s been a bad idea. Never do it now.

I know, I know...

OP posts:
SchoolDilemma17 · 16/11/2024 08:23

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:21

I think this is the way forward to be honest. Thank you.

Lying is not the best way forward. The friendship will definitely be over if you tell such a blatant lie.

Jeezitneverends · 16/11/2024 08:25

Good luck with the conversation, and like others have said never ever have friends do this kind of job for you, it’s never going to end well.

We’ve just had some work done in the house, friend’s dh is a pro, but I didn’t even get him to price the job as I didn’t even want the awkwardness of not giving him the job if the price wasn’t right!

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:26

@SchoolDilemma17 How would you address it? Either way, feelings are going to be hurt.

OP posts:
MinPinSins · 16/11/2024 08:28

SchoolDilemma17 · 16/11/2024 08:23

Lying is not the best way forward. The friendship will definitely be over if you tell such a blatant lie.

It's not necessarily blatant? Plenty of people paint a wall/put up wallpaper or tiles and promptly decide they hate it.

If the friend genuinely can't see what a bad job they've done, they may well not see through the lie.

SchoolDilemma17 · 16/11/2024 08:29

MinPinSins · 16/11/2024 08:28

It's not necessarily blatant? Plenty of people paint a wall/put up wallpaper or tiles and promptly decide they hate it.

If the friend genuinely can't see what a bad job they've done, they may well not see through the lie.

You are counting on the friend never to see her bathroom for thr next 20 years. What if friend says: no worries just tell me when you have new tiles and I will come back then.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to lie.

OnLockdown · 16/11/2024 08:31

You were crazy not to have agreed a price in advance. That could so easily have gone wrong even if the work had been great.

SchoolDilemma17 · 16/11/2024 08:31

deeeyewhy · 16/11/2024 08:26

@SchoolDilemma17 How would you address it? Either way, feelings are going to be hurt.

Yes true but do you prefer an honest friend or a friend that is lying to you?

ask them to come back, show them the work and what you are unhappy with and say you prefer to continue with someone else now. (Unless you think they can fix it) it was a bad idea to start with but you know that now.

Mintyt · 16/11/2024 08:32

I think I would say. It's not as I expected so we will leave it as it is, and I will have a re think. If they ask say it's not as nice as you envisioned, what to I owe you. And then pay and a lesson is learnt. They might be relieved too

Ds9ds · 16/11/2024 08:37

Dotto · 16/11/2024 08:17

Just say you've changed your mind completely about the colour scheme / tiles, and you need some time to decide what to do. Then pay them for their time so far (and then get someone else in). OR have it out with them and prob lose a friend.

I would do this . It's less likely to hurt their feelings and your friendship will likely be ok. I know people saying lying is not a good thing . But there's nothing to gain apart from hurt ,upset and a ruined friendship.

WizardOfAus · 16/11/2024 08:41

You should always hire a professional if you want a professional job. Pay cheap. Pay twice and all that.