What do you say to someone who opens their car door onto yours...

[WaspyButt]

... and it leaves a scratch?

Full disclosure I have no way of proving it but I know that I washed my car by hand yesterday and there was no scratch. Today I return to my car and a (very new looking) white car is parked next to me, there is white paint on my car and a big scratch above it, roughly in line with where their car door would open onto mine.

I know whose car it is but I've no real idea how to broach the subject or what to say. I've gotten the paint off and while it's a big ugly scratch I'm pretty sure the scratch will buff out but that's not the point really and they clearly weren't to know that. It looks like it was quite a forceful open.

I'm asking here I guess because my first instinct is to go barrelling in and tell them off. But I'm trying to be more considered with my responses and keep my stress levels low. So advice about how to handle most effectively (if at all) would be greatly welcomed!

in the specific case you outline…. nothing

how on earth do you”know” the car that did it?

I'm pretty sure the scratch will buff out

well it kinda is actually 😆

Disappointing, I thought it was a joke set up..

Audi?

Just use a bit of T cut and buff it off...if you're worried there is more damage take a photo before you do it

Just one of them things that happens sometimes.

Annoying but you can't prove it to be them.

Hi - you appear to have damaged my car. Can I have your insurance details.

full Quote including but that's not the point really

I returned to my car parked with a huge scuff up one side from front wheel to back wheel along both doors couldnt work out who had done it - until I looked at the car parked in the space next to mine but behind - on the front of theirs was black paint and a lovely black mark on the side front of their otherwise clean white car. (Right height and fairly matching - looks like they drove through the vacant space next to
me to drive through to the space behind….using my car as a bumper car)

The security from the supermarket checked the cameras and said sorry we don’t have it covered - the owner of the car came out and when asked …was oblivious and stated that she must have done it pulling out her driveway on the way here…..

Nothing I could do :(

Can you let it go this time and change where you usually park?

Thanks (almost) all of you. It is frustrating - I try to show people and people's possessions respect but I know not everyone feels the same.

Also I guess - if I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt - accidents happen and the consensus appears to be that there's nothing to be gained from making a fuss.

I'll park elsewhere next time.

I'd shrug and move on. I'm not bothered by minor scratches on the car.

I have evidence of an unknown passing vehicle on my rear bumper..I suspect it happened when a scaffolding lorry was parked opposite my home and something squeezed through. I didn't notice the damage until a few days after when I was cleaning my car..it was more than could be buffed out unfortunately..and my car is 2008..it's cosmetic and annoying because the bodywork was excellent previously.. not worth the insurance hit though. If you drive a vehicle worth a lot of money you need to park it as far away from other drivers unfortunately if you can't accept a ding or a scratch..people can struggle to get into their car when a wider one parks alongside after a smaller one leaves. C'est la vie

Take photos. Then ask the other driver politely if they hit your car. If they deny, then there is nothing you can do without a witness.
if they say they did then ask for their insurance details to get it repaired. But without a witness they can change their story at any time.

If you report to your insurer then don't make a claim is still sits there....

Such a pain. If ever you witness damage do provide your details to the person's car that got damaged.

if they did it, of course it was an accident. They have a very new car so unlikely they went to damage it and, more to the point, why would they want to damage your car intentionally unless there was a serious back story?!

So @gummania out of interest, if you witnessed someone opening their car door onto yours and leaving a scratch and paintwork, would you simply think "oops never mind, accidents happen", say nothing and proceed to quietly scrape their paintwork off your car?

I appreciate this isn't what has happened here as I didn't witness it but just out of interest.

I feel for you op, it drives me absolutely insane.
I always park in either a parallel space, or right at the end of a row as far from the white line as possible.
Happy to park further away from where I need to be if required.
It's just so rude, to show such a lack of consideration to someone else's property.

Situations like this are what causes owners who want to keep their car scratch free to park in parent and child bays.

Nothing. Banging doors is always going to happen given the width of most car park bays. The only way to avoid it is to never park in a car park.

It’s so rude and inconsiderate, but unless you’ve got some kind of evidence or witness, there’s not much you can do

My car is an absolute skip so dents and scratches don’t generally annoy me, but I was sat in my car in a supermarket carpark one day when someone slammed their car door into mine (I was sat in the drivers seat and they had parked the passenger side so I don’t think they saw me) and then just kind of wandered off.

I was like, er…hello? You’ve damaged my car. They denied it at first and then told me to fuck off and not be so precious when I pointed out I was sat in the car and saw them do it.

I was fuming, but more about their shitty attitude than the dent

I was sat in my car and a woman parked next to me and opened her car door into mine. I spoke to her (politely) said: You've just bashed your door into my car. She flat out denied it ever happened! Absolute lying bitch.

Damage was very minor so wouldn't be worth doing anything. But to outright lie about it was gobsmacking.

of course not

but the act itself would have been an accident

The response to that accident is a different issue

Ok, I thought I was asking about response.

Thank you to those of you who have responded with examples of similar woe. Reassuring that I'm not alone but yes I get it. One of those things.

I do think there are people who will happily crunch the car door next to them without a second thought but would equally be furious if someone did the same to them. Very different to an accidental ding. I will always try to be careful and it's disappointing when others clearly aren't. But yes it's the world we live in. I get it.

but you said if I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt - accidents happen hence me referring to it 🤷

But yes it's the world we live in. I get it.

depressing view of the world

Some are thoughtless and inconsiderate but certainly in my experience - the vast majority wouldnt behave like this

I would do the same to their car. Then drive off 👋