Everyone is staring at me when I go out .. or at least that's how it feels

[Zebralegs90]

I'm not diagnosed with anything. For the last few years I feel like everyone is staring at me when I go out eg supermarket, shopping etc. I don't have any distinguishing features, I don't have any exaggerated styles eg hair/clothes/makeup. I am very plain looking. Admittedly I generally look like crap these days as I cannot be bothered to make an effort, but this is crap imo not that I am dirty or dressed in rags. I have brushed my hair etc I am just not full face makeup and my decent clothes. I am usually in joggers and trainers, whereas in years gone by I would be in much smarter clothes.

I specially feel like I am being stared at in supermarkets but also sometimes in other shops too.

When I am driving and passing people walking in the same direction as I am travelling, they specifically turn around to stare at me as I drive past. These are people walking along the street, lots of cars passing by yet as I go past they suddenly turn around to stare. I have an average car, nothing flashy or unusual. I don't blast loud music out of the car, I don't have one of those noisy exhausts. I am never speeding or driving dangerously or doing any activity to draw attention to myself.

I once drove past an old boyfriend who was standing on a bridge looking over the water below. I didn't want him to see me as he had been violent and would potentially damage my car (I had a new car from when he last knew me). Anyhow, as I drove past, he suddenly turned around and saw me. Why did he turn around at that specific point ? it just supports my theory that people are staring at me.

I am 43.

Have I got mental health issues ?

Not sure about MH but it's impossible that everyone is staring at you.
Do you stare at them ?

Are you staring at them?

I can guarantee you that virtually none of the people you walk past in the street are staring at you. Even if they’re facing you they’re mostly just looking right through you.
Do you spend your day staring at strangers.?

They're not looking at you. You're paranoid and thinking people are looking at you so your behaviour reflects that or you just look around for evidence of that which you focus on which then draws attention to you and then it's an infinite loop.

I wonder if your mental health is a bit rocky. Could you go to the GP? Has anything else happened recently - you're not post partum or menopausal or taking any other meds?

No, they are really not looking at you. I promise you everyone is thinking about the CoL or their own issues.

I felt this way when we moved to a new town years ago! Really started to think the same until it turned out I looked very much like a presenter on the regional news programme.
Could it be something similar?

Very likely peri menopause.

I thought I was getting agoraphobia at around your age.

I didn't think people were staring at me but I used to get really anxious when outdoors alone, and nothing really felt 'right' until I got home.

Maybe speak to your GP and ask for a blood test?

ETA: HRT made me feel normal again.

I think it might be peri menopausal anxiety.in which case you should see your GP and get HRT.

This does sound like it could be a MH issue. Do you have access to support?

It's scary when our perceptions cause us difficulty and I feel for you as someone who has suffered from anxiety.

You come across as paranoid.

It’s easy for an ex to notice you, at a glance he would recognise your car due to your previous relationship and by previously seeing you on a frequent basis. I still double take when I see people driving the same car as people I know. Him recognising you is completely different to other people “staring” at you when you drive.

It’s unlikely pedestrians are watching your face as you drive. You need to remember that their point of view is different to yours - the lighting, reflections, height etc may mean that they can’t even make your face out from where they are standing. Plus they have a valid reason to be watching your car - they need to monitor cars if they are wanting to cross the road or plan their route eg maybe checking to see how many cars are left behind them. Their safety shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable.

Are you sure you’re not staring at them, OP? To notice them turning around and looking at you, you must be looking at them first. People have a subconscious alarm system to know when eyes are on them, ties back to the whole predator vs prey thing. So if they’re stopping to turn around and look at you, it more than likely means they feel eyes on them first - yours.

I’d definitely speak to someone as it seems you’re obsessing over this

You must be staring at them to know they're staring at you.

I think it’s likely you’re now so paranoid about people staring at you that you look visibly anxious and watchful, and are looking pre-emptively at passersby in a way that feels unusual enough for them to visibly look at you. But I think it’s likely they’re doing it response to something you’re doing that codes as ‘odd’.

The boyfriend on the bridge was pure coincidence. He had his back turned!

The only way this could possibly be happening is if you are looking at them long enough to make them feel uncomfortable or to wonder if they know you from somewhere.

Literally no one cares about you when out and about, people are so self absorbed they are thinking about themselves rather than randoms

You’ve posted about this before, the detail is identical right down to everyone turning around in the street to stare into your car as you drive past. Everyone told you then to speak to your GP, because this is a particularly high degree of anxiety and paranoia.

You may not be imagining it, but not for the reasons you think. It’s likely that something (low self-esteem, anxiety, tension?) is making you hyper self-conscious at the moment, and that you’re looking nervous/worried/uncomfortable and more likely to stare at others (to see if they’re staring at you!) all of which will attract attention.

It’s all to do with how you feel about yourself. If you’re giving off positive, confident, happy signals, others tend to respond in kind, but the opposite also happens. I have a tendency to self-consciousness, and I know how easy it is to assume people are looking at you. I also experience ‘good hair days’, when I feel people do respond to me differently. Whether they actually do, or it’s my more positive perception, I don’t know, but I do know it’s to do with how good I’m feeling about myself at the time.

I'd explore peri-menopause.

After around 40 (v individual) hormone levels drop steadily through the rest of a woman's life.

Your brain need oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone to function. Dementia is higher in women than men (around twice as many people diagnosed) because of this fall in hormones, so it is not an insignificant change.

So, when hormones start to drop, all kinds of crazy stuff can happen in your brain. Per PPs above, if you have already explored anxiety etc, I'd make an appointment with your GP to get blood tests/explore HRT and do a 3 month trial to see if that helps.

You’re staring at them to see if they are staring at you, but because your staring there are liking at you thinking you know them or your going to talk to them so they are staring to figure it out.

Stop staring and they will too.

I have this too OP. I am short and like colourful trainers so maybe it’s that but no sign of ‘middle aged invisibility’ here.

also 50. Doesn’t make me anxious tho, just bemused.

I've read this exact post before. I remember the part about people looking at you in your car.

Do you feel threatened by people looking at you. Do you think they have ill intentions towards you?

They are categorically not all staring at you. When you're driving your car for example, reflections etc would mean in all likelihood they can't even see into your car properly. They are most likely looking at cars to safely cross the road, or they think your car is their Auntie Jane's, or someone behind them called their name, or an infinite number of other explanations.

This does sound like paranoia. In the supermarket, people are thinking "should I get chicken or beef" or "what flavour yoghurts would the kids like" or "why are tins of soup so bloody expensive nowadays" etc etc. If multiple people really are staring at you then you must be acting in a way that gets their attention.....my guess would be you are staring at them.

I would contact your GP to discuss this. It could be mental health, it could be menopause, it could be lots of things. Best to seek some medical advice.

@Thornrose I thought I'd read it before too.

It sounds like you're suffering from anxiety. I would see your GP and look into therapy.

Do u look like someone famous maybe?And they're trying to place you?