It's none of my business but ...

[Waitingandwaiting56]

Dd is doing my head in. It could be linked with her bipolar? I have to let her learn for herself.

Dd is on benefits. She has 2 children
One gets dla . So she's not on the best income.

She should be moving home soon into another council property. There will be bare walls. No flooring. She needs a new bed/mattress for gs new mattress for herself . Flooring . Cost of removals. Xmas coming up. She's got 1000 pounds in rent arrears. She's trying to pay for driving lessons /tests on top. And she's gone and booked a 5k holiday. Even before she booked the holiday she was moaning she was struggling.

I dont understand why she did not at least get her move out of the way first .

I know it's none of my business and she needs to learn for herself. Its just a mum moan really.

I sympathise op. One of my relatives has bipolar and it drives her nearest and dearest demented with her impulsiveness that often makes no sense. She’s had two foreign holidays this year too despite apparently being skint and in a pile of debt. I don’t know what the answer is when they are a grown adult - they don’t listen.

Yeah it's not easy . I guess it has to be seen that the world's not going to come to an end.

I don’t agree with the comment you’re replying to but I do think if she isn’t on meds and possibly manic a holiday abroad is the last thing she should be doing. The children’s safety cannot be guaranteed whilst she is like that. Obviously if she is back on meds and ok by the time the holiday comes around then that’s different but currently it’s not the best thing to do

She's not going till June.

If she’s back on her meds and ok by then I can’t see that being a problem but if the holiday costs 5k and she’s only paid £50 and not got much of an income how is she meant to spend over £600 each month on holiday. That’s before any spending money is saved! I think with everything she has going on right now with the housing situation she should really be prioritising that

Does she work at all OP? £5k is a lot of money with nothing to show for it. I would be afraid of what she'll purchase next. Obviously we all need something to look forward to but a hotel stay would have been more affordable. Spending is a big element of manic highs. Hopefully she'll get on her medication soon and realise the error of her ways. Awful for you too having to bail her out, she's extremely lucky. What if you didnt have the money to give? Did she spend her rent money on other silly purchases?

I agree but she's not going to listen. She's moving regardless of the holiday. Only thing I can think is where they said it does not matter how often she pays as long as it's paid 6 weeks before departure. That she puts what she would pay that month into savings and pays it as a lump some closer to the holiday. If she's not managed to save enough then I guess at least she had some savings to pay for other stuff.

I won't bail her out like that. Well sort of not. I'm only sorting her rent arrears (if) it could stop her move . I don't think it will though . Because of the situation.

Uc normally pay her rent directly to the landlord it's been like that for 3 years . There's never been a problem. But for some reason uc did not do it directly but sent it to dd . Dd did not realise until she got a letter from the council saying she was in arrears. It was to late by then so she has a payment plan now

Dd has agreed to try and find something cheaper. Also I got the date wrong she's hoping to go in September.

I'm gonna help her look

Ah I suppose it was done unwittingly if normally paid directly. Not her mistake as such.

She can't council it 😭

Is she taking her children on the holiday too?

Yes she is .

Hmm talk to customer services and see if they can make an exception to the cancellation fee on medical grounds (and get a letter of support from her psychiatrist to confirm she was off meds and possibly manic when she booked).

Good luck OP, you sound like a great mum

Manged to sort something. Sort of. She's found a cheaper holiday and the flight is not so long. So it will be easier

Great news OP 👏

As a fellow bipolar sufferer who is happily raising two children with zero concerns from anyone, I am glad you said this. The stigma around it is unbelievable and she's lucky to have such a supportive mum. Usually when I change meds they do it while I'm on the old one and taper off it but start taking the new one on top. It does cause more side effects but keeps me stabler (I'm also type 1 so they're very cautious about mania).

Oh just seen the update. This is great news. Not perfect, but much better than the original situation. 💖 Hope she gets back on some meds soon.