Anxiety and the toilet. I’ve had enough.

[Pleasedontcry]

I’m 51 and perimenopausal. Periods still like clockwork.

Im posting in Chat for the traffic, really hoping that someone will have the magic answer as to what I can do to stop my issues.

I promise I’m not a poo troll. Been here years.

Basically, im having some toilet issue and they are now ruining my life.

If im at home, relaxed etc my stomach is calm.

If I leave the house to go anywhere, within minutes I’ll start having stomach pains and I’ll urgently need a poo. This happens without fail. I can be going shopping, driving, visiting people, to work, absolutely anywhere - within 10 minutes the cramps will start up and I’ll be running to the loo. It will be soft and yellow - classic poo that has rushed through me due to stress.

Same if im in work and know I have a meeting to attend. I’ll have several urgent loose stools before hand.

Travelling is a nightmare, if visitors come to my house - absolutely anything that involves me meeting people of going somewhere and my stomach just wants to empty.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had accidents. I just cannot hold the loose stool.

Im desperate for a solution. I have tried HRT but it’s made no difference. I’ll try antidepressants but I’ve heard they can make you have loose stools and I really don’t want to make an already difficult situation worse.

Any suggestions please?

Loperamide melts - half an hour before food and half an hour before you leave the house

Imodium is your friend - also I take Clomiperamine and it constipates me.

Imodium instants but also anti anxiety tablets.

immodium instant about an hour before your meeting. I’ve been on citalopram for years for the same issue and hasn’t given me loose stool (or no worse than it was!!)

I do use Imodium, just one will back me up for a day which does help a bit but I’d like to stop the anxiety that leads to it altogether.

Does the citralopram stop the body ‘fight or flight’ reaction which I assume it is that causes this?

It’s so annoying. Wherever I go I’m constantly thinking about whether there’s a toilet. I refuse social gatherings, I’m scared to start new hobbies as I find if I have a bad experience in a place or with certain people (ie a toilet accident) that will pretty much embed itself in my mind an it will happen every time I go to that place or see that person. My mind is completely messed up.

Have you considered or been offered beta blockers - something like propranolol? I think they are used to deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety. But you really need to ask a doctor.

I’m willing to try anything, I’ve been to GP, they ran bloods, stools samples and labelled it as IBS.

I do think there’s an element of lactose intolerance and I’m dealing with that by taking a digestive enzyme. Still doesnt change the fact I need a 💩 wherever I go. It doesn’t just stop at one, some days the urgency will keep on so I go over and over again until I’m raw. I’m so over it - it’s genuinely ruining my life.

I don’t have an answer, but just wanted to say I hope you find a solution. I feel for you - it must be awful. Can you try anti anxiety medication rather than antidepressants?

Have you tried buscopan tablets? It stops me from cramping up and needing to go so suddenly.

I have citalopram for anxiety symptoms as I was having panic attacks and yes it does stop the fight or flight, changed my life for the better and didn't make me need the loo more often! X

I have IBS caused by radiotherapy many years ago. I too had urgency and many accidents. The GP prescribed Codeine Phosphate 30mg up to 4 a day. It seems to relax the bowels and stop the cramps. I take one every morning which is enough to keep the IBS under control.

I had something very similar years ago. Doctors just kept saying it was IBS but another doctor decided it was my guts response to stress/anxiety because similarly like you, it kept happening whenever I needed to do something important or leave the house. I got put on a low dose of amitriptyline, just 10mg per day. Completely cured it.

I'm similar in that going out causes me to have butterflies which result in emergency no2 toilet dash! I absolutely cannot go on a dog walk in an unfamiliar location!! I have found that going before I go out and avoiding eating or drinking before and during the outing helps. Immodium solves it. But yes, would be good to stop the cramps about absolutely fuck all!

If you take the imodium then you'll remove the anxiety. I take 4, 3 times a week. Have done for years. I still take a crap every day.

I was talking about this to a colleague recently on this topic. She said it's not right to have to take meds for this, surely they can find out what's wrong and stop that instead.

Why is the bowel so different to the rest of the body we'll happily take meds for regularly?

If 1 works then take 1 every day. It doesn't matter.

My sister had a very similar problem to OP and she was prescribed propranolol to take on an as needed basis. It's helped enormously. She takes it half an hour before whatever it was that would have triggered it.

Your gut is your second brain! It's an anxiety fight or flight response. Try the gp for anti anxiety medications and talking therapy/counselling. Double pronged approach. Talking about anxiety and ways to manage the physical symptoms of it really helps.

it sounds like my IBS and anxiety. i take immodium x 5 days a week and this has really helped but i work part-time outside of the house and have lost all my friends so am not often outdoors if not working and am not able to manage hours out of the house or be spontaneous if not working.

please try to keep on getting out and about. i can go out with my family for a walk in the local forest and be out of house max 3 hours but wouldn't go with friends and their kids as i know that would prompt the stress in my brain and release of signals to my bowels/ibs.

are you wearing incontinence pads? I think your GP should investigate this further if you are soiling your underwear regularly. my gp said clinical food intolerance is very rare but try cutting out lactose products and see?

how stressed do you feel when you leave the house? Wank-y and stupid as it sounds, focusing on my breathing and taking myself "out of my head" to notice on trees/sounds around me can sometimes help.

You could try gut-focused hypnotherapy, with a specialist or via the Nerva app. Evidence based to help with IBS

I was going to suggest lactose intolerance as I am now saddled with that. Try cutting out all dairy, (except lacto free milk) and then gradually introduce small amounts of butter or hard cheese. You may be ok with very small amounts. Soft cheese is unfortunately now a no go for me, even with lactase tablets. It's pretty common for it to develop in the perimenopause.

This is a very real issue. It's linked to the fight or flight response. Your body perceives danger and it tries to empty itself as quickly as possible so that you can run away quicker. Obviously there is no danger but you have become attuned to think there is.

I've been there. I know how debilitating this is. You miss out on so much because it feels safer to be at home. But it's no way to live. Imodium as others have suggested might help firm you up a bit. Also knowing where a toilet is can help relax you and reduce the stress. It was a long time before I could go anywhere that a public toilet wasn't easily accessible.

I had CBT for this and they recommended exposure therapy so basically putting yourself in these situations gradually and building it up. But it's daunting and takes a long time.

I'm sorry you've had accidents. I know the panic and shame only too well. But ask yourself - although embarrassing and uncomfortable is it worth staying home forever for? Adult pants can give you some extra security until you build your confidence. I'm really sorry you are experiencing this. I still get it to an extent and have to spend ages on the loo before long journeys etc to try and mentally convince myself there's nothing left. Also don't eat much or drink coffee before a trip. But you can beat it I promise.

If there is an anxiety link, try also building Yoga into your routine. It has really, really helped me. All best, really hope this issue resolved for you.

CBT can help with this - a friend of mine had a similar thing in that she would work herself up into a huge fear that she might need to be sick when she was out of the house, and then sure enough whenever she left the house she started to feel nauseous which of course just made the fear worse.

CBT helped her work through it and she did also have some diet related issues but the emetophobia/nausea was exacerbated by anxiety and she was able to help that with the CBT. She said it was really helpful.

Amitriptyline worked wonders for me, calmed everything down. One tablet two hours before bed and that's all I had to take.

Escitaloprám has worked miracles for me, I'm a different person on it, it's truly changed my life. I have crohns disease and its given me so much freedom. It doesn't give me loose bowel movements at all. I just wish I'd gone on it sooner. No more anxiety, no fight or flight, no panic, no over thinking. Heaven.

I had the urgency, not loose stools but massive painful toilet blockers, that caused physical issues. So grim. I'm so glad I'm past it.

Ah OK so you've seen a doctor.

You cannot take imodium long term so perhaps go back and be quite explicit about symptoms and the effect it's having on you?

Thanks all. I asked for amitriptyline the last time I went and I was given 10mg. Lasted a week only as I felt like an utter zombie on it.

I have a high pressure job where I need to be on top form (lots of thinking quickly and multitasking) so can’t take anything that will affect me.

Thinking about it, it’s probably this bloody job that’s done this to me. This started about a year into it, either that or it coincided with the start of peri