Anxiety and the toilet. I’ve had enough.

[Pleasedontcry]

I’m 51 and perimenopausal. Periods still like clockwork.

Im posting in Chat for the traffic, really hoping that someone will have the magic answer as to what I can do to stop my issues.

I promise I’m not a poo troll. Been here years.

Basically, im having some toilet issue and they are now ruining my life.

If im at home, relaxed etc my stomach is calm.

If I leave the house to go anywhere, within minutes I’ll start having stomach pains and I’ll urgently need a poo. This happens without fail. I can be going shopping, driving, visiting people, to work, absolutely anywhere - within 10 minutes the cramps will start up and I’ll be running to the loo. It will be soft and yellow - classic poo that has rushed through me due to stress.

Same if im in work and know I have a meeting to attend. I’ll have several urgent loose stools before hand.

Travelling is a nightmare, if visitors come to my house - absolutely anything that involves me meeting people of going somewhere and my stomach just wants to empty.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had accidents. I just cannot hold the loose stool.

Im desperate for a solution. I have tried HRT but it’s made no difference. I’ll try antidepressants but I’ve heard they can make you have loose stools and I really don’t want to make an already difficult situation worse.

Any suggestions please?

There’s a great book called Breaking the Bonds of IBS by Barbara Bolen which deals with the link to anxiety.

Heathers IBS cheat sheet (Google it) is great on the easy dietary changes, but it sounds like anxiety is the biggest factor here.

Good luck and I hope you get it sorted. You have my absolute sympathy xx

Don't eat just before going out. It sets off a chain reaction .......

That happened to me. I cut down on dairy and wheat. I also started taking symprove. I am much better.

Sadly it makes no difference whether I’ve eaten or not. Within 5 minutes I can feel the familiar cramps and usually by the time I reach my destination I’ve had to make an emergency dash to a toilet.
As you can imagine, I can’t go too far these days. Luckily work is a 5 minute drive.

I know the Yoga thing sounds way out there, but I had urinary incontinence - leakage. Asked GP for HRT, she sent me to Incontinence clinic instead. They said as my hormones declined this would get worse and all I could do was be really diligent about pelvic floor exercises. I started, months went past, some improvement but not enough. I was working from home due to pandemic and panicking about returning to the office. I joined a gym and started to do their Yoga classes to justify the fee - about 2 weeks in I started to notice a difference - I then started to go any & every class I could get to, about 4 a week - massive difference to my pelvic floor, but also my sleep, my mood, my mind. I'm totally addicted to the classes and have been going for over 2 years now. My back feels so much younger. I rarely think about my pelvic floor at all.

In summary, yes I've strengthened my core. But also - I really think the deep breathing when holding the poses lowers my cortisol levels and so reduces my body's physical signs of anxiety.

Lots of Yoga on YouTube if you do think of trying to build into your routine.

Also, artificial sugars and caffine still dire for me, I avoid them completely. Appreciate a different issue, but just thought I'd mention perhaps worth seeing if anything in your diet is also not helping. All very best.

I feel for you as I'm exactly the same. It really impacts my life.

I now take amitriptyline before bed (right before) and an anxiety medication and it has helped, not entirely but enough to build my confidence up. However it also constipates me so I'm only going every 2/3 days and it hurts. It's preferable though.

Can't take Imodium as it bungs me up for days!

Coffee can speed the gut up. So if you're a caffeine drinker, slowly reduce the amount to 0. (Slowly because sometimes going cold Turkey on caffeine can result in migraine type headaches).
You could also try learning some mediation techniques.

Thanks to you all. I’ve reduced my milk intake down as much as possible and I’m down to 1 small cup of tea a day. No coffee.

All this does help to a degree but it still doesn’t stop the nervous poops as soon as I go somewhere. Shops are triggering, just standing around browsing and suddenly the urges start. Thankfully the two shopping centres near me have a loo but it’s a rare event I have to go once. Once I start I get urge to go over and over again.
Went to a local outlet one evening this week and had to go 4 times in the space of 15 minutes. Drives me absolutely nuts! Family are very good but they spend half the trip waiting for me to go to the toilet.
Standing in a queue where I’m effectively trapped in a line will literally turn my bowel to water. 🤯

Also the physical motion will help release the muscles through your body and the contents of the bowel.

I use buscopan to ease the cramping as my digestive system fast-tracks and cramps. I have a few dietary triggers. Annoyingly the stress of job interviews are also a trigger and it's really hard to sell yourself when your body hits that mode 🙈

Standing in a queue where I’m effectively trapped in a line will literally turn my bowel to water. 🤯

I would get a radar key. I've got one, and just knowing I have it can calm me down enough to be able to patiently wait in the normal line. I've only used the disabled toilet once. My GP told me to get one.

While you are standing there it might be worth trying to take some deep breaths and remind yourself you are nearly there, a kind of self-soothing. I am not saying this flippantly, but I have similar to you but not as extreme and I have high levels of anxiety at times. It helps me to try and feel more in control if I can attempt to try and calm my system down a bit. I appreciate that by the time you are in the queue it sounds like the horse has already bolted so it may be too late. I would suggest looking at the anxiety rather than focusing too much on this symptom tho, you have had some great suggestions in this thread. Anxiety manifests in so many different ways.

Many years ago I became full on agoraphobic due to the exact same issue as you. It was propranolol that helped me get better. If you haven't tried it, then absolutely yes I would.

I have the same issue. I have shat myself on occasions. It is not controllable. I take loperamide daily and also avoid anything wholewheat which triggers me. I can only eat crappy white bread but it's different for everyone.