(Warning: racism) How to reply to this racist text?

[isthereaway]

Old friend of many decades (now 60) Geographically distant, rarely see so mostly text comms. Recent quick 'chat' about some old pics a mutual friend had found from a 6th form party. I shared one of old friend & I. Not keen to share any (more drunken) others so, when asked I say: 'oh, no more for sharing, bit of a Rakes Progress!'.
Friend then says: "So in these latest, you & (mutual friend) are hunched over a game of cards, while a debt collector rubs his hands together and a Jew in the corner licks his lips? I saw the originals once & was not impressed".
Somewhat stunned I reply: "excuse me: "a Jew in the corner???"
To which I get the reply: 'yeah, I knew you'd pick that up. Is 'a Roman Catholic' in the corner any better'? (I was RC)
This person had form for making the odd stupid remark as a teen but by late 50's there is no excuse for this racism. Also, the 'yeah, I knew you'd pick it up' seems like teenage attention seeking? I'm not going to continue this text friendship now but I do feel upset by it (we were close growing up & chat quite often) so (sorry for long intro) can anyone suggest a pithy reply as I don't wish to ignore (appears I condone it?) OR 'go on' (shows him he's upset me)

The Harlots Progress.

edited to add the website link:
https://cle.ens-lyon.fr/anglais/arts/peinture/william-hogarth-the-harlot-s-progress

But is there any evidence whatsoever that this friend has ever been racist, far less been consistently racist over the years? This reference certainly doesn’t seem so to me, as he’s referring to a stock character in stock scenes of dissipation such as those by Hogarth.

I know I said something jokily referencing Jane Eyre to a friend who got engaged to a man with a large old house — something like ‘Make sure you check the attic first and watch out for madwomen burning bed curtains’. I wasn’t being unpleasant about people from the Caribbean, or people with MH issues.

This. I'm Jewish and I wouldn't take offence to this 🤷‍♀️

"If you knew I'd pick up on it, you know it's offensive. Did you mean to be so blatantly racist?" then block!

I'm going by the OP saying he has form for it.

Ah, I take your point that he may have picked up on my reference & muddled 'A Rakes Progress' with 'A Harlot's Progress' & referenced a 'stock character' in that. Factual not racist?

But then he says: 'I knew you'd pick up on that, (so - why say it?) would ref to (my) religion be any better?' (answer: not really, stereotypes are usually referenced perjoratively, plus he's been quite sneery about RC in the past too)

Then asks for the pics again (pushy!) So, my conclusion is: poss debatable whether deliberately racist (my 1st instinct), but certainly poor taste (would I say that? - not in casual conversation no & even if discussing the characters in the other set of pics I'd be careful of my language). I shall not bother to keep in touch with him.

No

Perhaps he meant he knew you would pick up on it because you take offence at things that arent offensive?

What is the offense exactly that you feel, that he referenced a character (albeit the wrong progress), who was Jewish? Or do you suspect he sees Jewish people in that way?

Absolutely!

Same. You're clearly now looking for an excuse to disengage, which is fair enough and your choice, but I don't think personally think you can list this as the 'final straw'. You've misunderstood.

@soupfiend well he said 'the X in the corner, licking his lips'. Insert 'Jew', 'RC' whatever you wish, it's clearly meant to be pejorative. He 'had form' at school (was actually Suspended on one occasion). Clearly he has not changed.

I need to do some other things now but I appreciate all the comments which have been helpful in showing a range of responses. I've decided I find his texts upsetting enough to disengage.
I don't believe in ghosting people so I will just say that, then ignore him.

Your friend could just as easily have said 'the loan shark in the corner' which would not have involved reference to any religion or ethnicity, though I suppose it might have upset some members of the loan shark community.

Look, you just misunderstood the reference, and that set the tone for the rest of the conversation. A ‘Catholic in the corner licking his lips’ wouldn’t make sense in the context of Hogarth-style scenes of dissipation, because Catholics aren’t pejoratively associated with avarice and moneylending.

If your old photos had involved student misbehaviour at a Catholic chaplaincy weekend away or something, he could have made a similar joky reference to those 16thc satirical paintings of naughty monks and nuns sneaking communion wine and shagging.

That still doesn’t make him anti-Catholic.

I see misunderstanding and pomposity. I think you were the first one to reference an artist who relies on unflattering stereotypes though. You opened that door.

The ‘friend’ sounds boring and is being goady towards you.
I only stay life-long friends with people that I enjoy spending time/or enjoy staying in touch with,
This clearly isn’t the case, so cut them lose.

Yes this the bit I dont get, OP starts talking about a series of pictures all of which have horrible cartoonish stereotypes of everyone in the story and although its not the Rakes progress but the Harlots progress which has a Jewish character so he got muddled with that, you cant really separate out one stereotype from another in those.

But as others have said, if you want to end the friendship then do so.

He muddled up 2 sets of paintings - or maybe was suggesting the behaviour was perhaps more similar to the Harlot's progress.

You can stop communicating with anyone for any reason at all but calling him racist for this is a stretch. You chose to refer to a painter known for stereotypes, examine your own motivation.

Nobody this side of the Napoleonic war speaks the way you did in that post! 😆

He sounds like a pompous arse and general all round not very nice bloke whatever way you take it - so I think you've made the right decision.

You mean, you don't know anyone who speaks like that, and you take your circle of friends and acquaintances as being representative of the entire English-speaking population of the world.

I think OP's friend was referencing A Rake's Progress - the moneylender in the corner in Plate 6 is stroking a pile of coins, and aristocratic Georgians would have talked of "going to the Jews" if they fell on pecuniary times. Hogarth's contemporary viewers would have understood this reference, without it needing to be a named Jewish character. (However anachronistic to modern ears)

STBXFriend could have picked any number of allusions to the engravings, but chose this one to - presumably - rile OP, esp given the follow-up message.

Obviously it worked, cos here we are!

It’s madness to throw away a friendship of more than forty years because you misunderstood a reference, despite yourself being the one to have referenced Hogarth in the first place!

Of course he was being goady, he could have just said moneylender. Instead he jumped at the chance to be anti-Semitic under guise of an artistic reference.

I know a few people who throw in literary and artistic references to conversation. Not one of us would have said what OP's friend did.