What should I take when visiting bereaved colleague.

[Appro]

My male colleague's father has died. Id like to visit him and take something with me but not sure what the done thing is in the UK. I'm not from here and in my culture, the entire village would descend onto the bereaved family home with everyone helping out with everything from the funeral, cooking, etc. We don't give flowers which, correct me if I'm wrong is done here. To give flowers in my culture would be considered bizarre so I don't want to do the wrong thing and offend him or anything.

Ive texted him to ask if it's okay to see him even just at the door for a few minutes. Id like to take something and would appreciate some suggestions. Thank you

Take a card and a voucher for marks and Spencer. Or get him a bag of shopping with some easy/ wholesome things in. You sound really thoughtful x

Thank you to everyone who has given suggestions. I have decided on some food vouchers, a card and some cake.

Ppl might think that is too ott for a colleague but I like to gift generously. Very strange that ppl would even think that there might be an ulterior motive. Would you be saying that if he was female? Can ppl not be kind anymore without being suspicious. No wonder there's so many lonely and miserable ppl in this world.

When I lost my brother a couple of years ago one of my parents neighbours brought round a card and orchid. To this day my Mum hasn’t forgotten that kind gesture and has looked after that Orchid.

Take a card, maybe make a pasta dish. Most people eat pasta. Just keep it vegetarian. Your colleague will appreciate the thought and that you have taken time to see them.

In similar circumstances my very British friend came to visit me and brought some biscuits so we had a chat first and then tea with biscuits. But it’s my very close friends. Others texted condolences or hugged when they saw me, a few send a card.
By the way OP someone asked if he had a wife and you didn’t answered. It’s actually important info : is he a single person or surrounded by relatives? And you didn’t say that he’s a friend just a colleague. It sounds more appropriate for a card then a visit unless there is something else in your relationship you’re not telling us.

Actually Nigella has a good recipe for. Rosemary for Remembrance cake. It’s very appropriate for a visiting gift.

www.nigella.com/recipes/rosemary-remembrance-cake

Why would you visit? I would have hated a colleague visiting when dmum died.
I don't understand why you wouldn't just send a card and leave him tobe with his family and friends.

This is a very thoughtful and compassionate response. I don't I understand yours though??

A lot of people round here.

Its a kind and thoughtful gesture.

Perfect!

OP have you thought that he might feel a bit overwhelmed with you turning up on his doorstep with your generous gifts?
Seriously, just send a card
That's all that is needed, with a heartfelt message
That's it

This made me giggle 🤣

It's all about you isn't it? My culture...I like to give...etc etc. Determined to insert yourself whether your colleague wants it or not.

@StereotypicalKaren @MrJeremyFisher you guys are insane! 😂

Are thereany other colleagues planning on visiting with gifts?

If he doesn’t like the food you’d cook, perhaps you could make up a little snack box: fruit, biscuits, chocolate, bottle of wine or a few beers.

Yes there are, only the women though.

A colleague turning up on my doorstep whilst I'm grieving? Unless we hang out outside of work I'd find it awkward and uncomfortable. Depending on who it is I might even find it intrusive. Stop forcing yourself into his grief. A card is normally fine but it's actually a bit late given it's been 10 days and you've already been texting.

A card if you must and absolutely no more than Just Eat voucher. Although it all feels a tad full on given you've already messaged back & forth and expressed your condolences. I struggle to believe anyone could be genuinely so un-self aware and determined to insert themselves into someone's personal and private pain.

Don't take a cooked meal. We threw out so much unwanted food when my mum died.

We did appreciate a few snacks like good bread and cheese we could eat a bit at a time.