Please share how to make a sad young man's room nicer

[sandrapinchedmysandwich]

One of my best friends has a son who is 21 and who lives away for work. She is desperately worried about him as he hasn't made any friends over there and he says he sits in his miserable room all the time.

Coming home isn't an option right now sadly so I thought perhaps we could at least buy him some things to make his room more inviting. But what? If he was female I would have loads of ideas but for a young man I am stumped.

Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance 😊

I would leave his room alone as it's an invasion of privacy if it has his stuff in it. He needs to take the initiative and join groups or take up a sport to meet people. He's not going to make friends in his room.

Some low maintenance plants maybe?

What kinds of ideas do you have if he was a woman, I'm sure some of them will also work for a man!

It would be more like gifting him things. Don't worry. We don't intend to come bustling up to change everything. My friend has suggested lots of things to get him out but his confidence has dipped and he spends most of his time talking to his old friends on his games console

If he was female I might suggest cosy tactile throws and cushions, fairy lights or similar, bright cheerful prints in frames perhaps but not sure these would be popular. Maybe the cheerful prints but they are probably quite personal to each person

A kettle/ coffee maker/ small fridge if allowed. Then a hamper pack of choice eg tea/ coffee/ hot chocolate in whatever form suits. Plus some nice biscuits/ snacks. But I do agree he isn't going to make friends from his room.

You're trying to solve the wrong problem. The issue is his lack of friends, not the state of his room. So spend your money on whatever will get him out and about and meeting people - gym membership, cookery class, tickets for a gig that he can ask people from work to.

I think it's just to make his immediate environment nicer as he spends so much time there. He has told my friend his room is quite dark too which makes it more depressing

These are nice ideas 😊

Lighting, the sort that glows a room up in different colours rather than task lighting.

Lava or bubble lamp?

I agree. My friend has tried all this but other than marching him out, he says he 'might' go to things but then doesn't. He has at least been to his GP about his low mood so hopefully this will help

Fairy lights are still ok for men! I would get him fairy lights, a plant and a box of Jaffa cakes.

He might like this 😊

This is good 😊

A Tapo multicoloured smart bulb, you can get them on Amazon. I agree giving him the means to get out and meet people like a membership or class would be a better solution. If he has friends to invite round it may inspire him improve his surroundings.

A Sunrise lamp?

Some new bedding, a nice blanket, a cuddle cushion to turn his bed in to more of an arm chair if he is spending a lot of time hanging out in there? Maybe some fun lights, colourful LED strip lights he can attach to his tv and/or gaming system or even just some string lights. You can get a wide range of novelty ones or some you can clip photos on to? A framed photo of family/friends? A poster or two? You can get some scratch off top 50 films/books etc type posters which could be fun or perhaps a world map or some kind of gaming poster? A mirror? Low maintenance plants? A ‘male’ smelling reed diffuser? A mini fridge and snacks? Some basic cleaning supplies in a little basket? A coffee shop or cinema voucher to tempt him out of the house?

Ooh are they? I wasn't sure if boys like this sort of thing. I have one DD and not much boy experience

I’ve just used photo box to make a cushion of DS’s favourite album cover

Lighter wall colours / lighter coloured curtains and some houseplants? A SAD/daylight lamp? Having lived in a blue-grey coloured room that never got sunlight in a houseshare years ago, the impact on your mental health of low light and drab colours is considerable.

There are some wonderful suggestions on here. My friend thought I was mad when I said I would ask on Mumsnet but I knew it would be helpful 😊

One of those galaxy/ constellation projector light things.

But yeah, better still is to get out and about, do things, meet people, walk, swim, take exercise.