Please share how to make a sad young man's room nicer

[sandrapinchedmysandwich]

One of my best friends has a son who is 21 and who lives away for work. She is desperately worried about him as he hasn't made any friends over there and he says he sits in his miserable room all the time.

Coming home isn't an option right now sadly so I thought perhaps we could at least buy him some things to make his room more inviting. But what? If he was female I would have loads of ideas but for a young man I am stumped.

Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance 😊

Buying him a gym membership would be better really. If he's not feeling social he can go along with headphones on, get some exercise and stay in shape. Even if he ignores everyone in there, it is Social Adjacent, and gets him out in the world.

A Himalayan salt lamp creates a warm glow and is meant to be good for reducing stress/anxiety which may be helpful here.

Well a lot of women dislike them too!! All those things you’ve mentioned for women are quite marmite. Some like them, some hate them, same with men. Personal home items are just that. How about a voucher so he can get the sort of things he’d like. I think a lava lamp is more suited to an 11yr old rather than a 21yr old, but obviously some people like them.

Do you know what food or drink he likes? That might be more appreciated.

There are all kinds of gadgets now to make a space more comfy. Salt lamps, weighted blankets, heated blankets, things that project movies onto the ceiling. Tbh I think anyone can benefit from this stuff. Plants are nice as it’s something to watch flourish perhaps if he’s that way inclined. Personally I am not good at this and it’s just one more thing to care for which I find a tad overwhelming so maybe a low maintenance one!

Interior designer here - does the room have curtains? If not, those are essential, with a wooden pole if possible. I’d opt for floor length rather than short. H&M, Zara Home, Ikea all do good affordable ones.

Get him a soft glowy lamp or two - fairy lights are also really nice as you say.

As pp have suggested, a rug, something to put o the wall - a couple of decent A3 posters in wooden frames. Ikea have great rugs that don’t cost loads - get one as big as space and money allow and run it under the bed or furniture if possible, as it makes the room feel spacious.

Aim for natural fibers and wooden stuff where possible as these are an easy way to bring a nice calm feel. I’d also find a snuggly blanket, a plant or two and a nice cushion for the bed. Plus some new bedding and a mirror. Needn’t be too costly, but all of this stuff will make his space feel a lot more personal and homely.

Also I think boys and men love being cosy just as much as women do! I guess there’s a fine line between making his room as cosy as possible though and encouraging to get out of it once in a while. I agree a gym membership could be very life enhancing .

I got DS a salt lamp and another modern side lamp so the atmosphere in his room was more appealing. A kettle if he doesn't have one, is a nice idea.

But as PP have said, the issue is his isolation. Can you encourage him to build some routines into his day that get him active. How about joining a gym or looking for a running or cycling club that would help him meet up with others. If that's not appealing, maybe a cinema or games club. Or look for some evening classes in the area that might appeal to him - something fun, not too serious. He might also consider doing some charity work one night a week. If he is in a city - a soup kitchen or similar. DS made some brilliant friends by volunteering at a homeless centre when he moved to a new city and was very lonely.

If he has low mood, it is really hard to know whether his isolation is due to him feeling too down to motivate himself, or if it is due to his loneliness and would be cured by some social structures.

Look at the Phillips Hue range for lighting ideas..There are cheaper alternatives that do the same thing but i love the Hue stuff..

www.philips-hue.com/en-gb?origin=p80127209643&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAoae5BhCNARIsADVLzZfjCEZFA7TqhTYbENjwJt7q9ADupGW36-Q4hJDvdAZ6zUPGblCHqNwaAgMTEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Or... if his happy place is his console, then maybe a controller dock to keep them charged at all times so no battery drama..

Or ..Has he got a decent laptop to remain connected socially from his room outside of his console? If not, a really good wireless keyboard, and he can make good use of hos console browser.

Or.. a really lovely Bluetooth speaker?

Thank you so much everyone. I am going to show my friend this thread tonight. She will be so happy with all these suggestions ❤️

My gamer son really loves all things rgb. He has a sit stand desk for his gaming setup which he loves, and has put rgb strips under it so that they light up the floor when he is gaming.

Having had a 20yo with depression who was away at uni, from experience he found plants really comforting. He’s home now but his room has about 15 plants in and he doesn’t kill then which is a miracle as I can’t keep a plant alive for more than a couple of weeks! He started with cheap ones from the entry hall of Lidl.

He also found/finds scented candles to be relaxing even though they are viewed as more ‘girly’. Again a couple of cheap ones from Aldi/Lidl and you haven’t lost much if he doesn’t like them.

DS had a gym membership for a bit but didn’t go.

He also likes led lights and has lights that go round the back of the enormous tv and displays the same colours as on the screen. Tricky to explain and a bit more expensive but he loves them. He previously has strip led lights which go different colours, they are not expensive.

It’s difficult being a mum with a “child” who’s away and you know isn’t happy. Sending love to your friend.

My son when sad did like a weighted blanket. If a plant then a Peace lily as it is the plant that features in Hot Fuzz which he is vv likely to have seen and liked.

Cbd oil?

Gaming chair?

Jumping spider in a terrarium

Nice speakers if he doesn’t have them. Something like a Spotify Premium subscription? Music can be really good for mental health, he might also like podcasts.