Does your mum bring bags of random shit to your house?

[whyeyeeyeeyeeye]

I swear DM can’t walk past a charity shop or a tat shop without buying something. She doesn’t care if it’s age appropriate for DC, in good condition if it’s for any of us, whether we’d like it, whether it’s worth the £…it’s infuriating. I’m just re-donating bags and bags of stuff after every visit. She even sends parcels of this in the post because we don’t live close. Today received 3 T-shirts for the kids in sizes way too big, a recipe book stand with splashes of someone else’s cooking on it, a 2024 diary and a kids’ game with half the pieces missing. I wish she’d just put a fiver in an account for the kids every time she got the urge. Or even just donated the money to the charity!

Yep used to drive me mad. It was toys that were way too young for my DDs.

Miss her now though 🙁. Just bag it up and give to charity if it gives her pleasure.

Mine did. We had to speak to her about it. In the end she did just what you want and put money aside for the DC instead. We have never managed to stop her sending £5 notes in envelopes through the post but at least we only get minimal tat now.

No, but my ex MIL seems to have saved every little thing her son ever had and now regulary offloads it to my child. She is very precious about it so I can't even get rid of it

OMG YES!!! My MIL (who is lovely but her delivery is somewhat off) comes to see us and says Oh I've got this bag full of stuff for the kids - its mainly what DN (darling Niece & Nephew) don't want. I also got a few games from the charity shop, I've checked them and there are a few pieces missing but I've marked them on the board so you know

Why don’t you just tell her the same? Explain it is creating work load for you.

My mother used to go through all her cupboard and give me her leftovers eg a shampoo bottle with a tiny bit on. Eventually I just said ‘I am not accepting any stuff from you at all I haven’t got the time, room etc to deal with it. Please stop.’

she did do it once more - like a bar of soap she had used and in front of her I put it in the bin at my house.

MIL does this. We've tried asking her not to. We've tried going through it in front of her and pointing out why a set of three plates with 70s patterns on are not needed. We now just smile and thank her and put it in the garage. She then goes on and on for months "did you like the plates?" or "did you like the white elephant?" or "did the kids like the 21 rusty toy cars with missing wheels?" After about 6 months she stops asking about any given thing so that's around the time we bin it. Pisses me off though because it was only fit for the bin in the first place and now we have to take up space in our bin with it all! Sometimes it feels like she purposely seeks out absolute rubbish that she knows is useless just to annoy us.

Once she did send a massive box of junk in the post and we had a dozen texts asking if we'd got it before it was even delivered. DH got quite cross with her that time.

My mother is terrible at this - but she doesn’t buy new stuff, she’s mainly returning stuff that’s mine which she’s found at her house.

Thing is I haven’t lived with her for over 20 years.

So she will turn up and announce ‘oh I found this box of hats and scarves which are yours, here you go’ - leaving me to have to dispose of a tatty old box of rubbish basically.

Also often stuff returned to me which I think may have once had sentimental value to her, but is then passed on to me, who has no attachment to it. But then I feel bad throwing it out.

She’s not visited without doing this for years. Drives me crazy.

Why was she giving your half empty containers of soap????

My DH has a bit of this ‘giving’ instinct in him and is often suggesting we give things he no longer wants as ‘gifts’ to others, just passing the issue of being unable to throw anything out to someone else.

My mother, my aunts, my MiL, stepMiL they all do this. It drives me mad.
Old toys in the attic for 30 years for DC, the lego was fine, manky teddies not so much. I get the old version of anything they replace, i have enough glasses to run a bar.
MiL ran a shop and she used to bring boxes full of random stock. Thankfully that's stopped now she sold up.

I'm embracing Swedish Death Cleaning.

Mine does this too. Tat and crap from pound stores - Christmas stuff in July, it’s all so annoying and a waste of money.

My mum used to do this. I had to ask her to stop after she bought DD a white tank top with black and red stripes. Apparently it was 50p and a bargain. I pointed out that she'd actually wasted her money as it was never going to be worn. I do miss my mum though, bargains aside.

My DM does this. Not with stuff from charity shops, but my belongings from my childhood bedroom.

I really should go through it myself…

Have you told her loudly and firmly to "STOP DOING THIS" ?
If you can afford the postage I would send it back to her.

Yep my step-mother used to do this

Mine used to collect other peoples crap and drive to mine to offload it

From a broken toy car to 2 massive (smelling of smoke and dogs) sofas-nothing was off limits-you name it,I ended up with it

(two of the best where 7 black bags of size 8 clothes-I'm a size 14 and a massive bag of baby girl dresses when id just given birth,less than 24 hours earlier,to a boy)

If she could blag it from someone for free and dump it on me,she was all over it

I don't drive so getting rid was a nightmare-and there would be hell to pay if she found out I had managed to get rid if it-she'd scream at me for hours and id get crap from family for not being grateful

Used to wind me up no end,i simply didnt have the space for any of it-for other reasons,I'm now nc so she dumps it on my siblings (the same silblings who used to have a go at me)

Total result Lady 😀

My neighbour does this. She has a slightly older child than mine and she'll very kindly give me decent jackets or some nice dresses that don't fit her any more, or some nice bits and bobs for my daughter- but she can't throw anything out so the kind decent things are mixed in with bags and bags of junk, and I live in a tiny house and i'm disorganised so they end up mixed in cluttering my house. I spent 2 hours decluttering the other day and realised 3/4 of what I'd binned was junk she'd sent.
She sent my son home the other day with a half deflated birthday balloon and told me he'd asked to take it, when I asked him why he told me he hadn't and didn't want it- she'd just given him it.

Are you my sister?!

My mum is seemingly unable to get rid of stuff herself. So somehow it becomes my job.

My DM used to do this (although she wasn't as bad as yours sounds). In the end it didn't even enter the house - straight in the car boot to go to the charity shop. But then when my sons were old enough they started to make a little money be reselling on eBay and Vinted!

This is my mother. She sent me two tee shirts 10 sizes too big - yes TEN. If I complain she moans that it just shows she's thinking of me. I snapped last time when she turned up with an ugly clown doll and I said 'unless you are thinking of me when you are in 'Tiffanys of London' - I don't want to fucking know'. (I hate clowns and I hate dolls more) My reaction was so out of sorts for me I think it actually got through to her as she has turned up empty-handed ever since.

But even worse than the unmitigated junk she thinks I want - is the volunteering me for things when I am not there - to random people - and then promising I will 'do' or 'fix' the issue.

A neighbour has a dispute about XYZ?, My mother will say 'Margarita knows the law - I will give you her number'. Local council problem? 'Margarita worked for a council, she will know what to do - I will give you her number'. The local rec centre needs people to set up for a bring and buy? - 'Margarita loves bring and buys - here let me give you her number'. Its endless!

AND EVEN WORSE.... you have tech issues? Margarita's husband does computers I promise he will help you. Then she gets shitty that you have 'embarrassed her' if you try politely to untangle yourself from a random little old lady who my mother has met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation with but has now pinned all her hopes on your introverted husband sorting out her wifi when there is no way in hell he is going to some stranger's house.

We have had conversations about this hundreds of times, but she is convinced she is 'just being helpful' so - as much as we have objected she thinks she is doing God's work and won't hear otherwise.

I have had countless conversation with her about it. How her urge to spend money and then give stuff does not make it ok for me to then have all this work generated. She just doesn’t stop.

It’s the absolutely worst if the kids get to the parcel or bag first and then they’re attached to the shite like the rusty broken Meccano set for age 12+ children.

At the opposite end of the spectrum No, that would involve her thinking about me or her grandchild! But then she doesn’t have much stuff or clutter and, since moving house has no photos of me/husband or her grandchild , just one of herself!

no Easter egg or advent calendar brought round either (for the child not me).

My mum is always bringing over sentimental items crap to our house. We have no space and she has plenty. Why in god’s name would I want my milk teeth or my school exercise books or swimming badges.

Yes, I don't even have children, but my mom is always trying to gift me crap. A 100 throwpillows on my couch till there isn't even enough room to sit, way too many blankets, random knick knacks and who knows what else. It's mostly crap that I have to get rid off, but she expects to see it in my house when she visits. I hate it. If I refuse we are in a fight and she will usually cry.

It's like she is trying to mark her territory. She also forevery telling me how to arrange the furniture in my house and I tell her that I like it the way it is and won't be making any changes. Cue the huff.

It's exhausting. It makes me avoid spending time with her.

I have a family friend who is my second Mom. I get the most random bonkers bags of bits regularly. The latest bag included a light ring that influncers use to record their social media, a random pack of mustard, a caviar spoon, a guide to a country that no longer exists and a load of random sized photo frames.