Does your mum bring bags of random shit to your house?

[whyeyeeyeeyeeye]

I swear DM can’t walk past a charity shop or a tat shop without buying something. She doesn’t care if it’s age appropriate for DC, in good condition if it’s for any of us, whether we’d like it, whether it’s worth the £…it’s infuriating. I’m just re-donating bags and bags of stuff after every visit. She even sends parcels of this in the post because we don’t live close. Today received 3 T-shirts for the kids in sizes way too big, a recipe book stand with splashes of someone else’s cooking on it, a 2024 diary and a kids’ game with half the pieces missing. I wish she’d just put a fiver in an account for the kids every time she got the urge. Or even just donated the money to the charity!

Speaking as a honorary granny, think it is a way of trying to enjoy the grandchildren. I love looking at little clothes and imagining the girls in them and how cute they would look and imagining their enjoyment of a particular toy. I try and sit on my hands a bit and not actually carry through on a lot of my thoughts and ideas. It is a way of holding the grandchildren in mind though when you are not with them.

One suggestion. If she is generally respectful of your boundaries and is regularly at your home, maybe you could ask her to sort through clothes and remove those that are too small, note how many t shirts there are for age 6 and sort out any toys that might be broken/ too young, for you. Obviously this depends on the age of the children and her being ok with you having the final veto on what stays and gos, but I find this kind of activity fulfils my grandmotherly instincts and hopefully also helpful..

I mean sorting the stuff you already have, not new stuff she brings.

To all of you moaning about your mums, one day you will have the pleasure of sitting wishing that door would open and your mum would bluster in with all her charity ‘shit’ When you lose your mum nothing is ever the same again. No one will ever love you like your mum did, fight your corner like her, be as proud as she was.

Forever is a very long time sadly 💔

That’s a very sweeping (and for a lot of people untrue) generalisation. Perhaps think of that before you post, ok to personalise and say “I’ve never felt the same” but not to tell us that’s how we will feel.

No but MIL did turn up with a full size dining table, the legs had unscrewed but I’m amazed she got it all in and four wheel back chairs once, she had driven up from Surrey. We live on the edge of the Peak District. I refused to take them and back they went, she never tried again.

Oh come on we can still love our Mums but hate the clutter! It's not that deep.They would have felt the same years ago about their DMs bringing bags of stuff no doubt.

@TorroFerney , I agree sadly , my mum is the person on earth least likely to fight my corner .

Love you, fight your corner and be proud?? I feel like I'm in a parallel universe.

Although the gifts given are not to your liking, the beautiful part is how much she loves and thinks about you in giving these gifts. If she is retired and on a fixed income, she chooses items that she thinks you will like. Thanking her for that kindness shows that you care about her feelings too.

Perhaps you could help guide her to buy less and the correct sizes by a friendly chat when she is next over. Explain to her that less is more - perhaps quality over quantity.

As a grandmother and bringer of shit myself there's nothing I like more than picking up something that I feel my gkids might like. Luckily my DD ( 6 figure salary so not on her uppers) shows appreciation as she knows it makes me happy and acknowledges that they are in my thoughts. Some things are a hit like the complete Marble Run I got from the carboot and others things not so much, and that's fine - she's free to pass them on, but they are given and received with love. My old mum stills gets out of her car with bags of crap for me. Long may it continue.

if you read ops posts on this thread from November you will see she has spoken to her on numerous occasions