How long do you continue to buy Xmas/birthday pressies for nearly adult nieces/nephews?

[OneWildBiscuit]

A bit of background...DB and his wife have 2 kids - niece who is 21 and nephew who is 17. I'm not really close to my DB; we get on perfectly well and have no issues between us, but we've never been particularly close (very different people and we live a very long distance from each other).

I don't see much of DB or his family and have probably only met the niece and nephew a handful of times in total due to their location and our very busy lives. I've always sent gifts and cards for the niece and nephew for birthdays and Christmases. Niece has now left home and has her own life.

Am I being ungenerous to feel that's it's not really necessary to be sending more than a card now in the circumstances? And if so, would it seem a bit 'off' to just send the eldest a card this Chrimbo, but still send a gift to the younger one?

I don't have kids of my own so I'm not at all sure about the etiquette here.

Just say you're not doing it. The end. I wouldn't do one and not the other.

Maybe send a gift voucher instead now they're older...?

In our family it’s a card after 21.

In my family we all agreed to stop once they got to secondary school.

No idea about DHs family as he did them and we're not especially close. But maybe late teens or thereabouts.

I’m going to keep doing it through education (first degree only!) and then stop - so till 21. I have quite an extended family though so there are more babies arriving even as the older ones age out!

We are just starting to hit this point with nieces and nephews. It's been cash gifts for a long time anyway.

Think we are planning card only from 21.

I think it depends on the family. Eldest nephew/niece is 18 just after Christmas, I am thinking that I will stop at 21. Youngest is only 7 though!

I think you stop at 18 or 21.

I would make it clear before Christmas rather than on the day. Personally I would phone for a chat and drop it into the conversation.

Until they are 18

Then they join in with the adult secret Santa

My aunts stopped buying for me at 18, and they will apply the same rule to my dcs (great nieces & nephews). I intend to stop for my nieces & nephews at 21 unless my db stops at 18 for mine.

18 in our family but do agree that there can then be a few years where you are buying for one and not the other which you feel a bit awkward about.

Same with me. A final present at 21 and then no more.

We do 18

Urghhhh I HATE this because I don't know!

Last year eldest niece was 19, but her sisters are younger and it didn't feel right to be buying them gifts and not her. So I got them all. Now again. An every year after this?! When does it end?!

I did upto 16. Then 18 and 21 no more.

We stopped at 18.

Once 18 I stop. They're adults now so unless you buy for all adults then stop

Maybe a word to their parents just to say as such

By 18 I figure it’s a bank transfer so it’s not like younger kids are opening presents older ones don’t have, @Webbb

My sisters still buy for my adult children but my adult children buy for their aunts and uncle . If the present giving wasn’t reciprocated I would be perfectly ok with them stopping . Both of mine , particularly the eldest, are very close to their aunts .

We stopped at 16. My kids are the oldest so I suggested that as the cut off going forwards for the wider family.
I was also fed up of trying to think of gift ideas, gifts being posted here and me then wrapping - easier for me to just sort for mine.
We don't see wider family often enough to have a clue what anyone wants.

I dint stop because they are still my nephews and nieces. I can afford a once a year treat for them and like doing so

We are closer and see them all F2F at Christmas. When they finished uni (21 or thereabouts) we switched it from cash to an actual gift. Usually homeware type stuff.

Given their ages, I'd but both this year and then drop a line to bro after Xmas to say now eldest is past 21, you're only buying for youngest

I will stop once they have jobs/independent income and only if they do not give me a gift off their own back.

21 has been my cut-off for friends' children and other relatives. I only have one true nephew, now 18 and just at uni. I suspect I'll go beyond him, say 25.