How long do you continue to buy Xmas/birthday pressies for nearly adult nieces/nephews?

[OneWildBiscuit]

A bit of background...DB and his wife have 2 kids - niece who is 21 and nephew who is 17. I'm not really close to my DB; we get on perfectly well and have no issues between us, but we've never been particularly close (very different people and we live a very long distance from each other).

I don't see much of DB or his family and have probably only met the niece and nephew a handful of times in total due to their location and our very busy lives. I've always sent gifts and cards for the niece and nephew for birthdays and Christmases. Niece has now left home and has her own life.

Am I being ungenerous to feel that's it's not really necessary to be sending more than a card now in the circumstances? And if so, would it seem a bit 'off' to just send the eldest a card this Chrimbo, but still send a gift to the younger one?

I don't have kids of my own so I'm not at all sure about the etiquette here.

Last year eldest niece was 19, but her sisters are younger and it didn't feel right to be buying them gifts and not her.

That hasn't been an issue. The older ones understand they had presents before their siblings were born so it's been fair. Also, as PP says, it's been money rather than gifts so less obvious.

My mum is still buying for nieces who are 42 and 39! I don't buy for mine as I have no relationship with them. If I did, I had the money and was going to see them I would probably buy for them even when adults. I'm not sure age has much to do with it.

Stopped at 18

21 and then just a card.

I don’t really know but I think over eighteen. My dh has two nephews and always spends way more money on them at Christmas than anyone else (including me), bar our daughter. It kind of made sense when they were little and we didn’t have kids of our own or a mortgage or anything but now they are late teens and he is in this habit of handing over cash (in amounts that we will really actually miss), I hate to say but it’s beginning to kind of piss me off and I think it should stop soon. It’s the expectation now though and I think he feels he has to keep it up. I felt really mean last Christmas when I realised how much he’d given them and got really annoyed about it. Probably because their mum had just told me the older one has literally thousands in the bank from birthdays/ Christmases of being handed wads of cash by relatives (!) These are kids that already have everything they could possibly want.

I'm planning on stopping at 21. I figure that its fine to keep buying for the younger ones as they haven't had ad many presents. Ie, my oldest niece will get 21 christmas presents from me, but so will her younger sister, but will get them for a few years 'longer'

Send a gift for the family for a couple of years then stop.

We stop at 18, then give for 21st birthday. Our oldest neice is 25 and youngest is 11 months with 11 in between, we'd be buying gifts forever!

Until they are working and see if they buy back. If not that's it.

My Bros kids are 25, 22 and 19 and I still buy presents for them all, usually a bottle of their favourite booze. I also put £20 in a card for their birthdays and will continue for the foreseeable

Thanks everyone - 21 is what I was thinking. I think I'll stop niece's birthday gift now, but maybe get a gift card for both of them at Xmas until nephew is also 21.

I stopped birthday money after they finished their degree so 22ish.
I continued Xmas presents for longer till about their mid twenties as we tended to meet up over Xmas and exchange gifts but that has kind of fizzled out and they've all set up their own homes with partners now so it's Xmas card only.
I think 19and17 is fairly young to stop as they aren't financially independent yet

In our family it's 21 and there are a lot of nieces/ nephews. Only wedding presents after that, whenever that begins

I have lots of nieces and nephews so I stop at 18

Arrgh! Hate this! Still buying for 27yo nephew, his wife is pregnant so intend this to be the last, the baby will get instead. Feel I have to as his brother is 17 and I still buy him. Should've cut it at 21. He has an excellent job and doesn't need a gift voucher from me.

In our family none after they turn 18.

My side: my niece is 15 and I'll probably keep sending her gifts even 10 years later because we are genuinely close.
DH side: we don't have particularly close bonds with adults there either and they never seemed interested in forming a bond as well, so we used to send gifts for the whole family (tickets to various shows, family photo calendars, gift vouchers, etc). They moved overseas 3 years ago and now we're emailing them a Merry christmas video and they do the same and that's it. His niece is in her early 20s IIRC.

Never sure about this. Have one lovely Aunt that remembers us as adults which is nice that somebody does! (In-laws have dementia and mine always "forget")

On the other hand have nieces in another country that never thank us (by e-mail, message or any other means) so never know if gifts actually arrive - a couple of times they haven't. Quite tempted to stop given Brexit post increases. As children we did did do presents for immediate family adults (generally seen over festive period) but they don't so seems a lot of gifts that may be unappreciated.

My son is 21, my siblings still hit for him but then we buy for each other and spend time together at Christmas so I think that makes a difference.