What's the latest you'd let your 14year old be home on a school night?

[isodontknow]

DS is interested in joining a club. I'd checked how to get there etc but it turns out in winter they meet somewhere else. Getting there isn't an issue however as the activity finishes at 9 and buses are on an evening timetable by then and he wouldn't be home until 1030pm.

Do you think this is too late on a school night? He gets up at 6.

I wouldn't allow that, no. It's far too late IMO.

I would have said too late on a school night, one of mine did Scouts mid week which finished at 9, but we picked up and he was home before 9.30 and didn’t need to be up as early as that. Is there an opportunity to do it elsewhere at the weekend or a Friday night?

Finishing at 9 and driving straight home, fine, but messing about on busses for 1h30 afterwards, no - too late.

I would say that was too late however it really is child dependent, does he really want to do the club and understands he’ll be tired the next day?

Could you collect him from the club instead?

Could he get a lift home with another member? I wouldn't be happy having a 14yo alone on buses at 10.30 at night.

Which day of the week is it on?
I personally would think too late, honestly 10.30pm on a week night is too late for me haha

I'd say too late.

Ds2 is 14 and his bedtime is 10.30. Any later than that and we notice the difference in him the next day.

Also agree with @Seeline that it is late for a 14 year old to be travelling alone

Is there no way to get him a lift home?

I'd do my best to allow it. I think clubs for teens are important- especially as by spring/ summer it sounds like it'll be more convenient.

I think it’s fine, as long as he plans well and gets any homework done before the club. At that age my teens were often up later than that anyway. My youngest is 15 and often doesn’t sleep til midnight.

My son used to be in a youth theatre. Rehearsals ended at 9.30pm so he would be home at around 10pm. On show weeks that would be later though, around 10.30-11.00 pm.

However if he is travelling alone on a bus that late I would be wary.

I don't know anyone there, so I don't really feel I can ask for someone to give him a lift.

It's the only place I found nearby which does the sport he wants to try out.

I don't have a car, but might be able to talk IL's into lending me theirs, then I could get him from the station at 930 and we'd be home by 10.

I don't think travelling alone would bother him, although as it stands he'd have either a 25 min wait at the station and a 15 minute walk home or a 35 minute wait at the station and a 5 minute walk home.

@Comefromaway why?

It would be mid-week if it makes a difference.

Yes, summer training would be more convenient as it's on the outskirts of the city so can take the city bus in and then the bus out to us, so should be home latest at 10.

Rehearsals for my son were Tuesday & Sunday.

I guess it depends where you live but where I am public transport late at night is not nice especially if you have to wait at bus stops/stations etc.

My DS (nearly 15) would cope with the late finish, but I wouldn't like him using public transport/waiting at a station at that time by himself.

My son is 14 & goes to cadets. It finishes at 930 & I collect him atm, but in the summer he can walk back. Which means he doesn’t get home until about 10ish. He doesn’t go to bed until about 1030 usually anyway, so usually he gets home, might have a snack then settles into bed. I would rather him be out at a club than sat infront of a screen.

10.30pm doesn't seem overly late for a 14-year-old for one night a week.

I’d be ok with 10.30 for one weekday per week.

I'd encourage this as it's far preferable to sitting indoors on a screen.

Mine both had late night activities, but usually one of us would pick them up. Not because I was worried about public transport but because it reduced the travel time significantly. So if you can borrow a car, I would. If you're lucky, grandparents will offer to collect him for you-an opportunity for a car-chat is a lovely thing!

Bear in mind that if they really get into it, there might be more late nights...

I wouldn't be keen on a 90 min journey in the dark in winter for my 14 year old. Also, even if he is in at 10.30, he will need some time to wind down, maybe a snack, get ready for bed etc so you are looking at more like 11.30. It's something I would allow for a one-off/occasional event but not weekly.

Mine bath did cadets until 10pm from 13. Is your area safe to be on buses at that time though, that's the part I wouldn't allow (here).

Too late for me, especially getting a bus. Mine has a club twice a week that finishes at 9.30, gets him home for 9.40, takes him a little while to unwind from it.