What's the latest you'd let your 14year old be home on a school night?

[isodontknow]

DS is interested in joining a club. I'd checked how to get there etc but it turns out in winter they meet somewhere else. Getting there isn't an issue however as the activity finishes at 9 and buses are on an evening timetable by then and he wouldn't be home until 1030pm.

Do you think this is too late on a school night? He gets up at 6.

Is he just turned 14 or almost 15?

I'd be fine with it if the bus was reliable but I'd be a bit worried if you didn't have any other way of picking him up if something happened. If he got injured, for example, how would he get home?

Having one teenager who doesn't do a lot, I'd be jumping at the opportunity of him (my DS) taking up a sport, so I would try to make it work.
I'd be less keen Sunday/Monday/Tuesday night, but definitely fine later in the week.

10.30 once a week is fine. I'd see how he gets on with it.

Maybe consider using a tracker app like life 360 to give you peace of mind when he's travelling.

Honestly I wouldn't be happy with them on public transport alone at that time. However you know how she your public transport is it at that time better than us.

I don't know how the public transport is that late because I never go out that late because I have DC! I assumed it wouldn't be worse than 830pm but of course that could be wrong.

I can see where he is on his phone, not worried about that.

If he's injured I'd assume that someone from the club would help him at least into the main station. He's being allowed to join the non-competitive adult group rather than his age group as he has ASD/dyspraxia. I can't see him wanting to join his age group, who have to go three times a week.

At 8.30pm there will still be lots of people around at bus stops/stations and the variety of people travelling will be different.

At 10.30pm it will be lonely and the people travelling are more likely to be undesirable.

The time wouldn't bother me, no-one died from an occasionally late bedtime especially at 14 but the bus back home would be a definite no especially as you don't have a car.
If for any reason he missed the bus or the bus wasn't running due to poor weather how would he get home?
Could you afford a taxi back for him instead?

Id have no issue with a club finishing at 9. But it would be a firm no to public transport. Do any of your children attend clubs and how do they get to and from? Is there a driving dh?

Same as others have said.
9pm finish is okay but I wouldn't want DD 14 travelling for 90 mins on a bus at that time of night.
It's dark and it's late.
Can you not collect them?

I thought it would about him wanting to go to gigs or nightclubs. If it's for a hobby then of course it's fine. He'll need to wind down and try and in bed and hour later though, or he probably won't get enough sleep. Is he the type that would just game or stay up really late after the hobby? Like if it causes a lot of adrenaline?

DS goes to two other clubs one 6-710pm, usually home at 8pm. The other one is later 6-730 and he's home at 830. He goes to both and comes back alone and has done for the past couple of years. He'll have to stop both of them at 16 though so I'm looking for something now that he can continue with beyond that, else he would do nothing.

DD is 12 and not allowed alone in the evenings in the city yet, she takes herself to clubs and either DH or I meet her there and bring her home on the bus. Clubs in the city Monday & Thursday 6-730, home at 830, Wed 530-700 home at 8. Club in town on Friday 6-8 usually my neighbour brings her home as her DS is also there else bus and home at 830. That one is on the bus route to our village, same as she takes to school, she doesn't have to go into the city, and there's usually one or two others on it who also go to the same club. Occasionally has another group until 930pm but it's 5 minutes walk from our house.

Both DH and I can drive. We just don't have anything to drive.

@BobbyBiscuits I don't know, he usually goes to bed at 915-930. He's not allowed to game on a school night though.

@isodontknow in that case it's quite a big difference. I'd say lights out at 11pm would be just about doable but he might be quite full of energy after he's done the activity.

My dd used to train in the evenings during the week and classes ended around 9.30. We then had the half hour drive home, so she would be in bed by 10.30. There would be the rare occasion (particularly in Y11) when she had homework to hand in the following morning, and it would be midnight before she'd finished that. I don't know how she did it really. But on the other hand, she didn't have to get up at 6. 7.30 was fine, and she only had a 5 minute walk to school.

My DD12 has gone to Scouts which doesn't finish till 930pm since she was 10 yrs old

1030pm sounds alright for a 14 yr old.