DC waking up early and waking the whole house

[thegirlwithapearl]

I am getting beyond desperate now.
DC are 9, 7 and 6.
Every morning the 6yo will wake anytime between 5 and 6 am, but then wakes up the entire house. Opening siblings doors, running up and down the hall, coming in to me with silly questions or trying to tell me about a toy.
The problem I have is that the older siblings, although do sometimes get grumpy about being woken up, then join in!
We have phases where everyone is quiet for a few days then it ramps up again and nothing I can say or do works.
This morning all three were stood right outside my bedroom door shouting at each other and chasing each other up and down the hall. It's like this all the time.
I've set a rule that they can read in their rooms quietly until 7:15 when the alarms go off. They have lights that change colour at this time. But they just ignore them.
We have a reward and chore chart. If I take rewards away they don't care.
I've set a rule that if someone's door is closed they are asleep or resting so you need to be quiet. But younger one ignores it so the older ones do too.
I know it's only a couple of hours before we wake up but even if we go to bed early it's really affecting our sleep. I'm recovering from cancer treatment and DH is working full time, on Monday I got quite emotional and upset because I feel like I'm having this horrible power struggle with my children just to get them to be considerate of other people in the house.
If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it, save me putting locks on their doors (I'm joking).

I would have a rule that nobody gets up before 6. If awake earlier and really can't get back to sleep, allowed to turn the light on, take a book back to bed and read (or listen to an audio book if not yet a capable reader). From 6am, allowed to get dressed and play quietly in own room till 6.45. After 6.45 allowed to come out and wake others up. 7.15 is probably unrealistic for children who sometimes wake as early as 5, but the above should be manageable for most 6 year olds.

I'd also experiment with pushing bedtime very gradually later and see if it helps at all. Are they eating well and getting plenty of fresh air and exercise during the day?

As for the ignoring you, I'd just treat it like any other behavioural issue and find the treat/punishment that they respond to. There will be something, and you do need them to learn to respect you now otherwise the older years will be even more difficult.

I knew a lady who had this problem. Nothing worked. One day the kids went into her room before 6am and she flew out of bed screaming at them to get back into their room and play quietly. Scared the kids into actually doing as they are told and they never did it again.
Sometimes kids need to be shocked and know you're not joking.
Six is old enough to know to stay and play in their room.

I just used to decide on an acceptable time to get up (for me no earlier than 7). And if kids were up before this time it was treated the same as if it was the middle of the night. So sharp
words and straight back to bed in the dark.

No TV, screens, food or entertainment from parents! That will just reinforce the early wake time.

You want them to be so bored they will go back to sleep and body clock
shifts. You could try a slightly later bedtime.

All this rubbish about a 6 year old can’t be expected to entertain themselves for 2 hours before 7am! They shouldn’t be up then!

I kind of have this issue. Dc1 age 6 gets up 5-6am. He tries to be quiet but forgets.

I don't like it when people say he should be able to sleep in. We're not in a world of should. To a lesser degree I had this issue as a child. I'm just a morning person and a light sleeper.

First we try an audiobook. He loves theo and matt podcasts. He has this with his earphones. If this doesn't work or after 30 mins he goes downstairs and watches bbc. No YouTube without mummy or daddy.

I'm concerned your child doesn't seem to care at all. Have you explained their action if bring loud rather than sleeping or playing quietly is making you extremely tired? I tend to say if mummy is too tired it won't be such a fun day. Mummy won't have the energy for x interesting activity or to go shopping and buy you y food you like.

It also sounds like the others are encouraging and need to be talked to too and advised what to do if dc gets up ie say go away we're sleeping.

Six is old enough to know to stay and play in their room.

I think there's a difference between a 6yo playing for half an hour, and a 6yo being expected to entertain themselves quietly (without access to TV) for over two hours every single day.

I think both parents expecting to stay in bed until 7.15am everyday when there are three primary aged DC in the house is unrealistic. Someone needs to get up with them, even if that means having a coffee on the sofa while they watch TV or play quietly downstairs.

When ours were little and got up to early. DH used to take them back to their room and sit in the dark with in their beds until the “sun came up”. He didn’t talk to them other than tell them it was night time and they should be in bed. He never got cross. He never raised his voice. He never told them off afterwards. He just removed the fun. they both learned really quickly that bedtime meant bedtime. I honest couldn’t love the man more.

would your DH do this with the youngest? Whilst you rest?

I also recall when Ds2 was little (I think abit younger than 6 maybe 4) we used to wake him up when we went to bed take him to the loo and then get him to run up and down the landing a few times.

(can you tell I’m fond of sleep)

Hit them where it hurts.

no phones, games consoles, tv, wifi passwords every time they do this.

the older ones will definitely be scared out of joining in once they receive this punishment and will hopefully have a knock on effect to the youngest.

It’s not unrealistic at all. It’s perfectly reasonable to tell children who are old enough to understand that they don’t get up and run up and down the hallway shouting at 5am. No a parent does not need to get up and start the day with them at that time.

Thank you for the comments everyone, I've just sat down to read through them.
I will just answer a few bits here.
They all get a lot of exercise, which is partly why they often choose to go to bed early. They each do multiple sports classes, and we are very outdoorsy, so lots of walking for me too!
However they do sometimes stay up later reading in their rooms- their choice again.
They have audio books, normal books, and lots of toys in their rooms plus drawing and colouring. They don't own iPads but they will all happily spend the same amount of time in their rooms of an afternoon (their own choice) because there is so much for them to do when they're sick of each other! So I do find it a bit frustrated that they don't seem to want to do the same in the morning.
We have a reward/chore chart and they earn tokens for doing these. So I will add being quiet in the morning to this and they can get a token which they can then swap for pocket money.
Weekends and holidays I will speak to DH about putting a timer on the TV so they can get up a little bit earlier than usual and watch some quiet TV.
I also like the sign saying "sssh" so will try this too!
I appreciate everyone's advice and hopefully this will work.
Also to add none of them have any SEN 😊

I'd bite the proverbial and get up

Chances are with the clocks changing/darker mornings they might start sleeping later.....

It also depends what time everybody needs to be up. 7am would be too late here. Dc needs to get up at 6.20am to get ready in time for the bus to school. I find during the summer holidays when everything is more relaxed they get into a different routine and get up later. I have never been an early riser but my dc are for some reason so I have adapted.

If someone hasn't suggested it already, you could put a timer on the tv. Either a timer plug, or some have settings for this.

This was pretty standard with our youngest ds really. I think it will be for lots of children. One of us just used to get up with him.