Getting out of invites

[bissom]

How do you do it?

Suggest another day to visit- is it a journey where you would drive and want to avoid traffic? Or want a drink on the day so cannot drive?

Why do people need excuses? Just say no thank you, we’ve other plans

Just be honest.

“Thank you so much for the invite but we think we would like to spend the day just the two of us this year. Maybe we can arrange another date to catch up over the festive period.”

This. The anguish on here every year starting in October of people wondering how to get out of doing busy, social Christmases.
Since we had kids we've always had Christmas at home. It's the one time of year when you should be able to do exactly what you want to do, not what others seem to expect.

You can say the same thing again! It's not an excuse, it's the truth. Stop worrying about offending people when it likely won't offend them in the least. Staying home and turning down an invite is perfectly fine.

Say the same thing again - or make up a neighbour you're house/cat sitting for so can't go away?

You need to get out of the mindset of it being an excuse and accept it for what it is, which is a perfectly valid way to want to spend your Christmas.

‘Thank you for the invite, but we’re really looking forward to being at home, just the two of us, this year. We can’t wait’. What are they going to do? Tell you to stop being excited because they’ll be forcing you to have a miserable Christmas with them instead?

Well use it again and hope the invite will not come in 2025!

This site never fails when it comes to Christmas gatherings. Adults afraid of saying no.

Just say "thank you but we really prefer to spend the day at home together". We have family members that always want to spend Christmas alone (the rest of us love getting together) so we just don't invite them now. While we'd love to see them we understand that it isn't going to happen.

You do not have to give a reason
'Sorry, we cannot make it' is answer enough

no need to make an 'excuse'. Just say no - politely, ie

'' thanks so much for inviting us but we already have plans for xmas/boxing/whatever day. Have a lovely time with the family ''

Perhaps send them a modest family gift (jigsaw, confectionery etc) in recognition of the fact they invited you.

"Thank you for the invite. We've decided we prefer a quiet Christmas these days so we won't be able to make it unfortunately. Have a wonderful party"

So to be clear - this is Christmas Day invitation, to spend with your siblings and their children and grandchildren? You don’t have children, so it’s not your kind of Christmas. Too busy and noisy and you would rather stay home?

If I have that right, I would say that it would be lovely to see everyone, that you will pop round for an hour to swap presents, but then you will be cooking your own dinner at home and having a quiet one. How can they have issue with that? Keep it a cheery tone and repeat if necessary.

Say this then

graciously "thank you for the invitation but we won't be coming" is just fine

I like Phoebe's "oh I wish I could but I don't want to"

Thank you for the invite but I/we won't be able to attend.

If I'm put on the spot and know I don't want to go, I say something non committal and then soon after think of an excuse to tell them no. If I say I'm going to something then I will go. If it's over text I'll just make up an excuse or be honest, just depending on if it's going to hurt their feelings or not.

I'd really like a quiet Christmas this year or I'm going to do something else this year but I know you'll have a great time anyway.
With most people I'm able to say no I don't want to do such and such if it's someone who requires the reasons why I don't want to something that annoys me because they're usually upset or annoyed to be told its boring, or I don't like something about it. Anyway have the Christmas you want.

Your reply.

Thank you for the invitation fortunately I shall be attending a funeral on that day.

Just be honest, OP! We go to Norway and Christmas Eve is the big one there. MIL and DH siblings come on Christmas Day afternoon, because they know we do British Christmas as well as Norwegian.

BUT, the first few years we kept getting invited to parties or loads of other friends and extended family wanting to drop by. We just said "no, we like a quiet day I'm afraid. You're more than welcome to drop in through the week/we'll come to you!" - but Christmas Day is small and quiet for just immediate family. They accepted it graciously and now we just make sure there's other days/NYE.

If you make excuses then they'll keep asking. Just be honest about it.

I don't understand the angst? Just tell the truth. We like a quiet Christmas Day at home without any visitors and just say "thank you very much but we're just having a quiet one at home.....are you free on (insert another date) for a catch up?"

My mum invites my aunt for Christmas every year and she sometimes comes but usually says no thank you and it's totally fine. I'd just say you want a quiet, low-key day and arrange another time. I'm sure they wouldn't mind and if they do it just proves you've made the correct decision!

Every year we are invited to SIL, every year we say thanks so much, but we prefer to stay home. It's never a problem

Just say you've already got plans, but you hope they have a brilliant day and you're grateful for the invite.

Your plans can be a box of Quality Street at home or attempting to blast yourself off to Jupiter, it doesn't really matter. The only bit that they're going to be interested in is whether you're going or not; and if they're nice people, if you're happy - so as long as you come across happy with your plans, and you're clear that it's a no, they'll be fine.