Expecting my first baby in the next few weeks. What advice would you give?

[Oilla]

We are as prepared as I think we can be.
I finish work for maternity leave this week. What can / should I do and prioritise in the weeks before baby arrives? Of course rest (though sleeping 3hrs a night ish atm so not sure tiredness will come as a shock), but anything else I should prepare, practise, make the most of or do?

Go and get a pamper, go have a final date night before you go for 2 to 3.

practice breathing for the birth. Perineal massage.

have a meal, use both hands, hot tea or coffee lol.

Such an exciting time for you OP!

You say that you’re as prepared as you can be, and that’s probably true - nothing can really prepare you, so try not to overthink it if you’ve got all the basics sorted.

On a practical level, make sure your freezer is filled with plenty of your favourite food, either batch-cooked or bought.

Otherwise, spend some time chilling and doing the couple or alone stuff you fancy that might not be quite the same with a teeny baby. I really enjoyed a chilled out lunch and a mosey round a farmers market and the local park with my husband on the day I went in for induction with baby one. I also remember going for a walk in the sunshine a few days prior to that and just sitting on a bench eating a ridiculous brownie and chatting to my friend on the phone. Other ideas would be going shopping, or for a swim, or to the cinema to actually focus on a film the whole way through.

Make sure you know what you want after the birth. People coming into hospital? To your house? You'll be absolutely exhausted so make sure your partner is briefed and ready to support. Feeding wise, do your research.

Get the house spotless, get in loads of food that you can eat with one hand, get a travel mug for hot drinks, some aloe vera for after the birth, prep some box sets and REST WHILE YOU CAN

I'd not bother with chores. I'd go and hang out with friends and family and enjoy myself.

I would prioritise spending time alone with your partner (and friends, if possible), and preparing your body for childbirth and postpartum.

I believe that you have the best chance of a straightforward labour if your baby is in the ideal position and you go into labour spontaneously. So I would do lots of walking, swimming, spinning babies exercises to get and keep your baby in the right position. Don't slouch on the sofa ever - either lie on your left side when you're in bed or sit on a birthing ball when you're watching TV etc. This will help with the baby's position. As for going into labour spontaneously, it's all about oxytocin. So spend time with your loved ones, get a massage, spend time in the fresh air, listen to your favourite music, watch films that make you smile/laugh/cry (or preferably cry with laughter), have sex, eat delicious food, whatever makes you feel good.

I know you're uncomfortable and excited and nervous about giving birth and just want your baby here but you're also a bit scared...it's normal. But don't wish the time away. Try to enjoy your remaining baby free time doing all the things you enjoy which are possible when heavily pregnant and not so easy when you have a tiny baby.

Possibly not the sort of thing you mean, but the advice I wish I’d had is not to panic or feel like something is wrong if you don’t feel that immediate rush of love people talk about. I love my children more than words but only felt that instant rush of love with one of them. For babies one and two I was utterly shellshocked and exhausted when they were placed on me, and didnt feel a rush of love or the ‘post birth high’ I expected to feel. This is actually very common, and had I known this I’d have felt alot less guilty or worried that something was amiss with our bonding.

I’m sure you’ll get lots of practical advice too, but this is something I wish was spoken about more.

date night with partner/husbend. Before my first everyone told me to have one last date night but I was just so anxious and tired I couldn’t be bothered. After baby arrived a few weeks later I was like aaahhh yes we should have done it 🤣🤣🤣
honestly some people say ah your life doesn’t have to change that much but it really does I always say it was like one life ended and another begun. Not in a bad way it’s just soooo different priorities completely change and you will become a different person. Me and my husband were together a long long time before we had kids so I look bad at our old life with fond memories but this new life is so much meaningful. X

Look after yourself.

Oh, and if your birth plan is to try and have a straightforward intervention free vaginal birth, at least do some research about what happens during an emergency C-section and make an alternative birth plan for that. Because if you end up having to have one, knowing what to expect will make it easier for you, and being able to ask for things like (for example) delayed cord clamping/the curtain lowered/your own music playing/immediate skin to skin if you want it (and it is possible in the circumstances) will help you feel you had at least some control over how you gave birth.

Get some really nice food prepped in the freezer.

Find yourself some excellent TV to watch when you are stuck on the sofa.

Batch cook and freeze as many meals as possible, it will make things so much easier.

Read Bringing Up Baby by Daisy Goodwin, it isn't a parenting book but a look at parenting advice and trends through the ages.

Reading it is really useful to remind yourself to trust your own instincts and not get wrapped up in what the parenting experts of the day say, to take advice with a pinch of salt and not get bogged down with information overload, particularly since so many of them today are parenting influencers who have no actual child development experience themselves

Get your fridge ready with easy food - filled pasta, pierogi, sausages, salads etc
Tinned fruit is a good shout too.
spend time with you other half, natural oxytocin helps!

my labours would have gone much easier and quicker if someone had told me having a baby feels like shitting yourself.
seriously, if midwife had said “lay down your biggest turd so we can marvel at it” it’d been over a lot sooner!
push into your bottom makes no sense to me.

Your mental health might slide and at times it might feel like you can’t do it but you can. My mental health took a real whack for about a year after the baby was born and I’m only finally getting back to myself now (1.5 years later) be kind to yourself x

Make sure you know how the: pram, car seat, cot work. Practice making a bottle and sterilising if you are going to ff, and in case bf doesn't work for you.

Buy lots of unscented handcream. You will never wash your hands so much.

Good luck.

Look after yourself. Don't waste your time batch cooking and cleaning.

SLEEP. Stay in bed for whole days if you can. Newborns are lush but the sleep deprivation is like no other. I say this as I’m bursting for a wee but my PFB has only just settled and I daren’t move. I never knew such intense love was possible.

My advice is not to listen to all advice. Some is great; some is given to validate the choices of the person offering advice.

Don't breastfeed - they didn't and see your choice to do so as a criticism of what they did.

Etc.

Just smile, nod and do what is best for you and your baby.

Take raspberry leaf extract daily asap, if you're not already.

How exciting Op! We're 4 months in now, so from this perspective looking back, all of the above, plus I wish someone had told me to really take time to soak up that tiny newborn.

Turn your box set off for an hour now and then and just look at them, stroke them, sniff them, take candid unposed pictures, take videos, try and commit all of that perfect tinyness to your core memory.

They grow (in size and in personality) unbelievably fast and I had a bit of a meltdown at 12 weeks that my tiny helpless newborn was gone and I didn't feel like I'd stopped just to take him in and appreciate him enough.

I had a planned C-section so can’t comment re birth but otherwise;
definitely go for one final date night as just the two of you
I expect you’ll take enough photos (there’s never too many) but also take loads of videos, of everything, of all the little things and details
Make sure you’ve a stocked freezer
Be clear between DH and yourself on your ‘plan’ for visitors and stick with it!
Get a ‘nappy caddy’ and fill with nappies (obvs), wipes, change of tiny clothes, muslins, some snacks for you, nappy cream, nipple cream… leave it right where you’re planning on sitting the most, mine was a gift from a friend at my baby shower and by far the most used gift!!
YY to practicing putting the pram up and down etc, and making a bottle of formula. You may not plan to bottle feed but you just never know and trust me, it’s easier to already have formula by you that you can just bosh together than DH having to run out at a weird and wonderful hour

If you're a Sitting up at the Table for All Meals and Drinks person, learn to eat one handed.

Buy an insulated, lidded mug - the larger one.

Enjoy doing things outside the home as a couple - eating out, cinema, going for a swim, or just going for a walk. These are the things we missed for a while, and now we do them with DS, but it's not always as enjoyable (he's nearly 3 so still a demanding toddler who isn't easily satisfied)😄

The obvious things - cleaning the house top to bottom, baby's clothes all washed and ready.

I would also say, if you enjoy watching tv at home, to catch up on what you enjoy watching now. But there's still opportunity to do this with a newborn. I spent many hours on the sofa cluster feeding my son - best time to watch a bit of tv or browse the net!

Double posted