What do you do or want to do with your free time?

[Citrusandginger]

I feel like I have spent a lot of my adult life moaning that I haven't got any time to do the things I want. Yet as I begin to approach retirement I'm not actually sure what I do want.

DH & I have been having a bit of a philosophical discussion about it. Partly underpinned by wanting to move house pre-retirement and not being sure where we want to be or what exactly we want. Like lots of people we have been busy for the past couple of decades with more than full time jobs and running DC round at weekends between looking after our house and garden. So our own pastimes have taken a back seat and the idea of free time is a bit of a novelty.

We were talking this morning about how pre children and pre internet, one of our days off each week would usually involve a shopping trip to buy books, records, cosmetics, clothes etc. Now we mostly do that sort of shopping online and neither of us enjoy a trip to a shopping centre.

I mean I have things I enjoy doing. I love cooking and enjoy craft activities. We also enjoy holidays and days out. I'm just a bit stuck on the day-to-day. We enjoy walking the dogs, but I don't want that to become the highlight of my day.

Is this just nervousness about ageing or a pre retirement crisis? And what should a late 50's woman be filing her time with?

I go to the theatre
gigs
ballet
museums
art galleries
heritage sites
NT properties

Not interested in shops.

I’m early 50s so not quite there yet but my plans for retirement would hopefully include:
some sort of dancing - line or ballroom that me and DH can do together
get a dog - can’t currently as out of the house most of the week but dreaming about a little shitzhu that me and DH can take on long walks interspersed with coffee/pub stops.
meet up with friends for coffee/lunch at least once a week
join a gym for weights and Pilates (just work out at home now given time constraints but would love to join a gym)
see my DDs regularly if not still living with us (sob 😢)
join local village ladies group - they always seem to be off on jaunts here and there together.
volunteer at the village food bank or charity shop.
theatre/cinema/national trust venues visits
Read, read, read.

This is all sounding very expensive!!

Knit. Play piano. Walk. Listen to Audible books. Learn a language on the software available through the local library for free.

Work becomes so central to many people's lives that they don't know what to do with themselves without it. Leisure time during these years is often simply recuperation from work. For retirement, my advice would be not to think that you will be happy by passively "enjoying yourselves". People need to get absorbed in things and/or people that truly interest them, preferably a challenging long-range project. You can have a holiday first to relax a bit though 😀😉

I'm coming up to retirement and we want to go travelling. We're going to buy a motor home and spend months touring the uk and Europe.

My daughter also has a horse and I love spending time with him. I'm not actually that bothered about riding (I used to do it a lot in my youth), but I do enjoy pampering him, doing groundwork etc

I also find myself enjoying the garden more and more

For day-to-day free time I think you need to break it down and workout where your spare pockets of time are.
Essentially you need to fill a 7 hour work day.
Walk with the dogs is an hour,
Join a gym and fitness classes is another hour,
trip to the supermarket 30 mins,
prep and eating meals and hour or so.

Find out if local theatre does classes during the day or the cinema cheaper seats.

Use your free bus pass and see how far you can get. I think one lady travelled across the country with her bus pass and staying in Travelodges.

Once you've built yourself a routine it may feel mundane but you'll use the time more efficiently and get more done.

Definitely more museum trips - we are only an hour from London so lots of options there.

I think this is the thing. I'm so busy not having any time that not having any structure feels slightly scary. I can probably work part time to transition in slowly, I'm just a bit surprised that I want to.

I think you are right though. I'm going to need to plan some things.

I should have asked where you are.
And you might be on a budget. But there is so much free to do in London. I also have an Arts Pass which gives me 50% off.
I am not retired yet!

Not quite retired yet but getting there. My interests all seem to be about storytelling: I write fiction, play piano and make photographically derived illustrations. I have amassed quite a collection of digital and vintage film cameras and it incentivises going out and looking around me in new ways. I love museums, rivers, public parks.

I go to the theatre.
I watch sports.
I am in a choir.
I volunteer.
I am involved in a Church and all that involves.
Now I no longer have childcare, I go to all the 'one off' things I used to think "That looks interesting" but couldn't squeeze in (stuff like Heritage weekend in September, Scarecrow Festivals, the trails they have to encourage you to walk round local cities, Christmas events, etc etc)
I've started doing a bit of exercise recently. A couple of different things.
I Mumsnet far too much.
I make time to spend with my adults dc.
I arrange to meet a friend for lunch or a coffee or a walk - only now and then, but multiple by a few different friends.

I have Historic Palaces membership, not far from Hampton Court Palace so go there frequently. The gardens are beautiful.

Recently bought myself the design museum membership so looking forward to visiting there a few times.

I play tennis and pickleball several times a week which I thoroughly enjoy.

My garden is my main hobby though that keeps me very busy when the weather is behaving itself.

Walking the dog, I find different walks for us, the same walk day in day out bore me.

I spend my free time at the moment, still working, on exercise as I spend the rest of my time sitting at a desk. In retirement I intend to continue that but will add more variety.

I will also need something social and something as a project to replace work in terms of the sense of purpose and everyday social interaction. What that is, I find hard to envisage.

I intend to have a list of things I can do for winter when it will be less appealing to be outside and then can select something to prevent getting bored.

Visiting places is fine, but I think you can only do so much of that and it not get samey.

My mum went swimming every morning and then would go out for a coffee. Her health wasn't good enough to be able to make a regular commitment to something more. She would be in hospital or at the doctors several times a week so I am hoping I get luckier with my health.

I think the secret is to be good at planning things, which I am not good at!

I write a lot; I've had stories published and I'm working on a novel. Amusingly, working in publishing makes this harder as I'm so fussy. 😂

I make historical costumes - proper accurate ones.
I fence.
I ride horses.
Lots of reading.
Theatre and gallery/museum trips.
Archery.
I collect taxidermy so like to go to fairs, snoop around antique shops, etc.

I'm in my 30s but I can't see myself stopping. I seem to collect hobbies!

I am 49 my husband is 45. We have one son who is nearly 21. Outside of work we go to the gym together , read , garden go for walks. He loves watching sports and I love crafting.

Not retired but I go to choir and do Pilates with people who are. Also DH and I sometimes get the train to London and go and see a theatre matinee while the kids are at school, which is great. See lots of retired people then.

I love your list! Well taxidermy probably isn't my thing but the rest of it sounds so interesting.

I had thought about joining a rock choir and we already have EH & NT memberships. I like the idea of a weekly museum trip too which would give a rhythm to the week.

I'd like to do lots of city breaks, in the UK and Europe but I think I need to find day-to-day things to do. I'm not actually there for another 3 and a half years, I'm just keen to start thinking and planning. Some of this is tied to our wish to move too. We live in a beautiful village but I'm keen to have more to do in walking distance.

Also DH and I sometimes get the train to London and go and see a theatre matinee while the kids are at school, which is great. See lots of retired people then.

That's a good thought. Matinee. Dinner. Miss the rush hour and home in good time. What's not to love.

It is a fab day

You'd be surprised about the taxidermy. 🤣 DH is taking a course but I'm too squeamish...yet. Never thought I'd like bones!

I thinkna rock choir sounds so fun! What interests do you have yourself? What kind of thing do you have an inkling towards? I found pinning them down, even if a bit odd, suddenly opened doors.

Also, letter writing! I've got a friend who I do letters with but we also exchange mini stories and continue it on from each letter. Silly, but collaborative writing is really really fun if you've got a flare. Are you into physical things? Yoga? Dance or a martial art maybe?

Me and DH fence together which is hilarious!

still working part-time, and a fair bit of time each day is taken up with stuff like cleaning, cooking, and life admin.

The choir has been a part of my life for more than twenty years and will carry on till I run out of breath!

volunteering - local ‘stately home’ and reading at my local primary school. I really recommend volunteering in some role, especially if you are moving to a new area as it’s a great way to meet people.

I joined the WI, and there are lots of walks, coffee mornings and meet ups.

Any time left is spent on crafts, family, garden, and enjoying reading a book without feeling guilty. It’s great, I’m never bored and love having more time to spend on things.

I am in London so should make an effort to visit galleries and museums more often.
Early 50s, still working.
We play pickleball as a family and have coaching when we can. Whilst I enjoy playing and learning the rules and techniques, etc, I find that I'm still trying to get to grips with large numbers of people playing. Whilst I'm sporty, I'm quite introverted and don't enjoy bossy, over competitive people all trying to out do each other. That's tiring!
I swim when I can, lots of walking and lifting weights, too.
We have bikes to use.
And travelling.

I do enjoy quiet days too. Netflix and Prime , slumped on the sofa.
Meeting friends.

I’m a bit of a fitness addict so most days involve gym/ boxing/ running and this is often with friends.

Other activities are water sports in the summer, swimming, meeting friends for dinner and drinks, dog walking, Xbox, reading.

A lovely afternoon nap will fill up some time.
I fucking love a nap.