MIL fell - what can we do to keep her safer?

[pontipinemum]

My MIL is 73, she had a fall yesterday thankfully DH, SIL and myself were all there. Then BIL came over to help us get her up safely. FIL was also there. She just caught her toe on the join between two floors, I've done it myself. I can still see it in slow motion in my head.

She had a bad stint with cancer 2 years ago (I know it's never easy for anyone) where she spent months at a time in hospital. She has recovered remarkably well from this and can do all her usual things at home. Just maybe a bit slower.

FIL now also has cancer and will be away for treatment during the week.

I think understandably we are all worried about MIL being in the house alone. Not to her complete determent but she is a proud woman who won't accept too much help. She won't live with DH and me during the week while FIL is away and she doesn't want a button around her neck.

I've suggested DH/ BIL take turns in sleeping over. (SIL lives in a diff city and will be taking FIL to treatment). We have 2 young children, 1 who is 11 weeks old and breastfed so I can't really take a turn. But being on mat leave I will go over every afternoon for an hour or so for a bit of company. We are also looking into getting her a watch that makes phone calls.

Sorry this is more of a release. But if anyone has any ideas we would be grateful?

Have a look at the elderly parents board.
There are some wonderful helpful people on there, it was a great place for information when I was caring for my dad.

Thank you, I didn't know that board existed. I'll repost there 😀

You mention floorboards - is it possible to carpet? May help with risk of tripping also if she does fall, not a hard surface impact. If she won't wear a button - what about a simple apple type watch, then she can call for help if she needs it - get it as a gift from the grandkids, normally works when grandparents are being a bit stubborn. It must be hard facing getting older and admitting you need a bit more help.

Your family sounds lovely and caring, congratulations on the new little one!

There is some useful information on this NHS link. Would she know how to get herself up if she feel and was alone (info on the link also)? Would she be interested in doing some simple exercises to increase her strength to prevent her falling again?
She might need reassurance as she's probably given herself a fright and knocked her confidence.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/falls/prevention/

Do you have a community alarm scheme where she lives?
she can then wear the pendant and press if she falls to summon help

Set up Alexas in her house. If she falls, she can then say 'Alexa, call Pontipinemum and it will connect her to you.

@May09Bump it was from the kitchen so she wouldn't carpet there. DH/ BIL are looking into lifting the kitchen tiles. The lip is less and 1cm. I think the watch might be the best option. I found a very simple style one (it's actually a kids one) that works on it's own sim card so doesn't need to be connected to her phone to work.

@ghostbusters I'm going to print that off for her. Yes she would do exercises.

@Hobnobswantshernameback she doesn't want the pendant. My great-grandparent had them, they are great

This is what I'd love to do we have a few in our house (most of them are just the plug ones), but they don't have wifi and she doesn't think they need it. They live rurally (we all do) so I'd also like for her to have a camera on the gate so she can see who is there.

I think they might just have to get wifi. I don't think leaving the hot spot on the mobile on would be good enough

Is this the first time your mother has fallen?

Getting the community alarm seems like the most important option.

Can she stay with you or BIL rather than someone sleeping over ? Might seem like a good idea now, but sounds like a lot over more than a few nights.

@Hadalifeonce no unfortunately not. She had a much worse one last year. She also fell and broke her wrist a few years ago

@rookiemere I will get DH to ask her if she would consider moving in with us until FIL is finished his treatment. FIL + SIL will be home every weekend so it would just Mon to Thurs and she wouldn't have to be here all day we only live about 2 miles away so she could come over in the evening.

Longer term, ask her GP for a referral to the falls clinic. They can do a full assessment which can include sending an occupational therapist to look at her home and suggest/arrange safety measures.

Is there a Falls Prevention service near you? It's funded by the NHS - GP should be able to refer if there is one.

They can offer physio and/or support equipment like bars to grip, whichever is appropriate

I was also going to suggest a careline pendant too, my DM’s is linked to community support who can come out to do a medical assessment and have special equipment to help the person get back up. You’d need to have a key in a key safe though.

Does she wear shoes or slippers around the house? Because barefoot walking is better for balance, or minimalist footwear outdoors.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36434546/

Try and get a referral to OT at her local council
They will come out and assess which aids will help keep her safe and independent
Handrails, toilet rails, bath lifts etc
I'm 59 live alone with Cerebral Palsy and have had a wet room and adapted kitchen. Not saying she needs all those, but it is available.

If MIL is not keen on a pendant, would she agree to keep her phone in her pocket when moving around her home?

It sounds like a simple trip, which could happen to anyone. It doesn't sound like she is prone to falling due to bad balance or other conditions. I think it's a bit premature to start expecting her to live as if she's elderly. I'm that age and would be a bit irritated by all the fuss, nice though it is that people care.

Could you pop a couple of cameras around the house, we have them to check on the pets.

I agree with a asking GP to refer to fall service. They will check her meds to see if anything is making her dizzy, be seen by physio and OT assessment plus any aids needed.

For my Dad is meant a change to his meds and he was given some physio exercises to help with balance. He had a couple of mini falls due to dizziness from
meds but since the appointment has been fine.

She would, but funnily enough we were talking yesterday (before fall) about how bad women's pockets are. I was pointing out that the babies pockets were way better than mine. She agreed and said nothing would fit in the trousers she was wearing.

I think understandably we are all worried about MIL being in the house alone. Not to her complete determent but she is a proud woman who won't accept too much help. She won't live with DH and me during the week while FIL is away and she doesn't want a button around her neck.
I can see her POV to be honest - 73 is hardly aged and infirm...

She’s 73 not 93. She really should be able to get herself up off the floor if she’s not actually disabled. I’d be encouraging her to join a gym or something. ( I speak as someone who is in her late sixties).

Could you get her a mobile phone case that hangs round her neck?

To keep the phone with her, she could get a housecoat with pockets. I have a lovely velour housecoat with pockets, and it keeps me lovely and warm too.