Runner 'helping' me during a run.

[Thorilicious]

I completed a half marathon this weekend. Fully admit I was slow, but don't think I looked like I was struggling, just gently plodding along, one of the last, but still within the time limits of the event.
At mile 7, a lady appeared at my side. I thought she was a volunteer at first, but it turned out she was a runner, and she wanted to check in on me. I thanked her, explained I was ok, and she continued on. Half a mile later, she came back and offered me some food. I declined, and explained that I knew I was slow, but I just needed to keep my head down and keep going. Over the next couple of miles, she kept coming back to offer encouragement and said she was going to get me through, despite me saying every time I didn't need help, and I just needed to be left alone. At around mile 9 she appeared again, and this time I said quite firmly that I really just needed to be left alone. She left me alone after that, although I kept expecting to see her around each corner!
Crossed the finish line, and I heard someone say 'I told you I'd get you through!'. It was this lady again! I guess I should be impressed that she had the strength to keep coming back and forth, but it had me on edge for the 2nd half of the run that she was going to turn up, which really affected me. I made it quite clear I didn't want her to run with me, but she ignored me! She's also in most of the photos of me crossing the finish line 😂
I think she wanted to be able to say she really helped someone, but surely it's not helping if the person has asked you to leave them alone?

Why is it a race to the bottom though?

Is someone who's been stabbed once not allowed to be in pain because others got stabbed twice?

Ridiculous comment.

Bet she's a right bossy boots "oh look if I hadn't been there to give unwanted advice they'd have definitely messed up that printing/gone in the wrong shop/left their handbag in full view on the backseat I'm just saving people from failure and catastrophe all day long, because everyone else sadly is incompetent" types. There's one in my family, can you tell? 😂

Eurghhhhh I hate these types. They “help” very much to make themselves feel like good people, not because they actually want or need to help anyone.

My second child was a really high energy, high needs baby (ie a massive crier/tantrum thrower in translation). I lost count of the number of older ladies who’d come up to me during these episodes and say “ah! Is he teething?” Like teeth can be the only possible reason a toddler could be having a meltdown. Used to drive me insane. And it offers no actual practical help either. I remember one lady in a supermarket queue, DS about 2 at the time in full meltdown mode, and she turns to me and says “Oh someone is teething” DS did, in fact, have all his teeth by then he was just an unhappy toddler in a supermarket. Never offered me her place in the queue which would have actually been a help, just regaled me with stories about how her now 40 year old children were troublesome when teething.

Oh there's always someone like that!
Some people just love to fuss over someone. It's irritating.

Bet she is using you as her excuse for not having a better finishing time....

I would have taken a note of her race number and reported her to the organisers. They would have done sweet Fanny Adams but it would have made me feel better.

That was my immediate thought too

I've never met a runner with this type of attitude.

Also there's such a thing as race strategy and even people who use techniques like "jeffing" during races (walk + run).

I'm a fairly slow, quiet runner - I don't like running and chatting and distractions like that lady really put me off - I guess because running is so much a mental thing, not just physical. Really rude and entitled of her to just assume you needed help!

Maybe next time have some business cards with the following message
"Jog on you patronising cow"

That would've annoyed me too..... I've asked people if they're ok before and offered gels/sweets etc but only once and if they say they're good I leave them be.

I'm a reasonably ok runner but I "Jeff"..... my strategy is usually 3km run 100m walk or 4.9km run 100m walk if I'm going for a PB......

I don't mind people asking if I'm ok but the amount of people who tell me to "keep running don't stop!" thinking they're encouraging me is bloody annoying.... don't assume someone walking for a bit is "struggling" !

@JohnCravensNewsround I'm not planning on doing a half ever again, so hopefully I won't cross paths with her again! Love the idea though...

@FiddlyDiddlyDee
and here she is again with her big sad wooden spoon. Please, ladies, don't feed the troll, it only encourages her. Just ignore.

@Nodlikeyouwerelistening
That reminds me of sitting in the doctor's waiting room with my baby boy, he had a temperature and was crying a bit and an old lady sitting next to us started trying to force-feed him a Bounty "to help his teeth come through".

This is so rude! Not everyone is concerned about speed or wanting to go faster, some people are perfectly happy running at a pace that suits them

Well done on completing your race! My guess is that she messed up her own race and was unhappy not to get the time she wanted. She wanted an excuse so pretended to help you. She's probably telling everyone she was on track for a super fast time until she stopped to help a poor lady who was struggling

Thank you all again. I'm off to have a very good sleep, forget about this lady and know I did it under my own steam.

😂 I just can’t. And if you complain about people like that you get told “but they mean well”. But can they just not though? 😂

I really thought this was going to be about a man but turns out women can be arrogant dooshbags too. I do a fair amount of running and there are regularly pretty elderly people at the back. They are going slow, they are taking rests but they get it done and I would never dream of patronisingly 'helping' them. As adults I assume they know themselves better than I do.

I feel your pain OP. The bouncy helpful runners lapping the slow ones to encourage them (or make them feel inadequate).
Congrats for getting out there and doing it. Ignore the busy bodies of the running sorority. They'll still maintain they're being helpful. But they're really not!

Many things put me off running but I didn't even know this was a thing, in my head I'd be loudly telling them to fuck off 😆

There were plenty of other runners that I passed that offered a 'well done' or 'keep going' as I went past. That I can handle!

"I told you I'd get you through!"

Wth? You got you through.

Why is she trying to steal your thunder?

She is definitely one of those people who likes to help only if they can be seen helping. Therefore it's not really about helping the person. It's all about their image.

I'd have been really irritated.

If you've got her race number then contact the event organizers.
That wasn't an acceptable way to behave. It's kind to offer but as you clearly & firmly said no then she should have respected that.

Typical mumsnet 🤣👌🏼

@Thorilicious massive well done! I did a half marathon at the moment, also a slow runner and this would have annoyed me massively (almost as much as the spectators who shout ' not far to go' when you have 5k left 😆)
Asking you once is fine, nice even, to continue it not ok and to say 'I got you through it at the end' is highly irritating.
There is no need to run faster, if you completed it, didn't injure yourself or die and feel ok now you're of course fine to run a half.
In the one I did we also had a walker category so pace isn't important.
Again, well done!