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Original poster

Well-meaning but ultimately misguided comments about my facial BCC

44 replies

Nosebandage · 19/10/2024 12:00

I’m in the unlucky position of having had a chunk of my nose removed recently, after a several-years long attempt to thwart a BCC on my nose. I was young-ish when it appeared (early 30s) and have undergone 5 years of conservative treatment on it. Ultimately we decided to get it removed via 4mm punch right in the middle of the nose. I’ve had to change the bandage today and it really doesn’t look great, I’m a bit worried about how it will heal, and also if they haven’t got it all that I might lose more of my nose.

I’ve had various lesions over the years as it’s been treated with reaction causing creams, and I’ve been open and honest about what is going on, up to the limit of my comfort zone. There is one comment that really gets me though, and it’s when other people my age (and older) immediately launch into comments about their parents and the facial lesions they’ve had removed. I know it’s well meaning, but it makes me feel even more upset mostly because I’m so young. I expect if this were an AIBU you’d all be telling me I’m being really unreasonable, so I’ve not put it there, but some gentle perspective would be appreciated.

it is right in the middle of my nose. A massive crater. It’s going to be several weeks before I know if it’s going to be ok or not, and months at least before I know what it might end up looking like. I’d love to know if anyone has personally been through this - but please don’t tell me about your elderly relatives…

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosebandage · 19/10/2024 22:03

Anyone?

OP posts:
BrightGreenLeaves · 19/10/2024 22:08

I don’t know what a BCC is. Whatever it is, it sounds hard to have a change to your nose. Hopefully someone will have more knowledge than me.

Zebracat · 19/10/2024 22:12

That is really tough. I’m guessing that’s Basal cell carcinoma? All I can say is good it’s been removed, and however it heals, I’m sure the medical profession will be able to make it right. 💐💐💐

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Skin conditions
TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/10/2024 22:13

I had a similar size mole punched out in my 20s (it wasn't malignant but it was growing and incorporating blood vessels). It wasn't on my nose, it was on my cheek - I was worried it would leave a permanent crater but they put in two stitches and it healed beautifully. You literally wouldn't know it was there - hope yours does likewise.

Towerofsong · 19/10/2024 22:16

I had one on nose, removed at 38, had a lot of stitches. The skin around the scar was red for quite a few years, but a green concealer pencil helped for a few years to mask the redness. Bio oil helped too with the healing.

15 years later it's barely visible and I forget it's there

Good luck waiting for the results, at least being a bcc you know there are no significant concerns.

Original poster
Nosebandage · 19/10/2024 23:17

Thank you - yes, basal cell carcinoma and bang smack in the middle of my nose. I saw the wound this morning and it’s like a crater. I’m flip flopping between not caring about the scar and being glad it’s been removed, and being quite sad. I had a pretty great nose and now it’s a little mangled!

OP posts:
InductionHobRocks · 19/10/2024 23:26

Sounds rough OP, hope they got it all. Maybe a stupid suggestion but is there any sort of prosthetic mould whilst it’s healing, just on and sightly over the area? You see some incredible things on TV in make up and just wondered. I’m imagining really thin rubber type material.

best of luck to you. If you were my friend/colleague I’d think you were very brave.

lljkk · 19/10/2024 23:28

My aunt had this, giant hole & all. It got sorted, can't tell now (12 years later)

TheSpottedZebra · 19/10/2024 23:31

OK, this might be too low-brow for you, but... Khloe Kardashian had similar (or same? Don't know if she said exactly what) removed from her cheek. And 'filled' recently with filler, some months after the original op.

LoafofSellotape · 19/10/2024 23:32

I don't understand the elderly relatives comment.

Sorry you're going through this, I had cancer on my lip and it was a real mess, it's healed really well. Here's hoping yours does too. It's pretty amazing how they operate now. Silicone gel once it's healed has really helped too.

Original poster
Nosebandage · 20/10/2024 08:37

LoafofSellotape · 19/10/2024 23:32

I don't understand the elderly relatives comment.

Sorry you're going through this, I had cancer on my lip and it was a real mess, it's healed really well. Here's hoping yours does too. It's pretty amazing how they operate now. Silicone gel once it's healed has really helped too.

Yeah I could be being mega sensitive, just so rare to get a story about someone my age, often someone 30-40 years older than me at onset of treatment, and very often (but not always) male. I’m sure damage to anyone’s face is traumatic to them, but my comparative youth makes me worried that this will be more aggressive or come back again in my lifetime

OP posts:
NigelHarmansNewWife · 20/10/2024 08:42

Once it's healed, massaging with a moisturiser - plastic surgeon recommended Nivea in the blue pot to me - will help reduce scarring. He actually said not to waste money on bio oil as it's the massaging that helps. I get where you're coming from given it's right in the middle of your nose. See how it heals and there may be options for improving the look of it if that becomes an issue.

Original poster
Nosebandage · 20/10/2024 09:14

Towerofsong · 19/10/2024 22:16

I had one on nose, removed at 38, had a lot of stitches. The skin around the scar was red for quite a few years, but a green concealer pencil helped for a few years to mask the redness. Bio oil helped too with the healing.

15 years later it's barely visible and I forget it's there

Good luck waiting for the results, at least being a bcc you know there are no significant concerns.

Thank you - very similar in terms of ages, so a little hope then. I’ve got it uncovered this morning and showered for the first time in days. It’s quite yucky looking but hopefully will heal ok. The area of the nose has been red for some years now so maybe nobody will notice

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosebandage · 20/10/2024 09:16

NigelHarmansNewWife · 20/10/2024 08:42

Once it's healed, massaging with a moisturiser - plastic surgeon recommended Nivea in the blue pot to me - will help reduce scarring. He actually said not to waste money on bio oil as it's the massaging that helps. I get where you're coming from given it's right in the middle of your nose. See how it heals and there may be options for improving the look of it if that becomes an issue.

Edited

Interesting, thanks. The recommendation for dermatology seems to be Vaseline, at least while healing. I guess I’ll be massaging my schnozz in the near future

OP posts:
NigelHarmansNewWife · 20/10/2024 09:18

Vaseline will stop the skin from drying out and promote healing without scarring.

daisychain01 · 20/10/2024 09:26

I would protect yourself from further hurt by being guarded about sharing photos and discussing it widely in your family if they're making crass, insensitive comments. If you need moral support try to get that through professional channels rather than expecting people you know to be able to support your needs. In short, they will let you down and be a disappointment. Close family are are often the most insensitive. Better to stick with professional people who understand your needs well.

Original poster
Nosebandage · 20/10/2024 09:33

daisychain01 · 20/10/2024 09:26

I would protect yourself from further hurt by being guarded about sharing photos and discussing it widely in your family if they're making crass, insensitive comments. If you need moral support try to get that through professional channels rather than expecting people you know to be able to support your needs. In short, they will let you down and be a disappointment. Close family are are often the most insensitive. Better to stick with professional people who understand your needs well.

Ahh interesting take - family have been fine, and DH even said this morning that it’s really not bad. The comments are from total randos (like in a coffee shop the other day), or people I don’t know especially well eg distant colleagues. It’s all well meaning, but exhausting.

OP posts:
LIZS · 20/10/2024 09:37

Dm has had several removed and the scars heal really quickly. Agree with vaseline tip. Good luck.

Towerofsong · 20/10/2024 09:59

Good points made above about the massaging, it helps break down bumps in the scar tissue.

I have attached a pic of my scar now, Pic 1 is with no makeup or filter. Pic 2 is with foundation on (mineral powder).

I had 28 stitches, some under the surface and some on top. The original bcc was about 4mm, the actual hole they left was a circle of about 4-5mm but then they cut each end pulled skin across to make a straight line so they could stitch and close the hole.

Not sure if the first pic is reassuring but I didn't know about massaging back then, so I was just bunging oil on. I can't say I'm totally happy with it and I think the tip of my nose is slightly crooked from where they pulled skin across, but not unhappy enough to make me care enough to look at corrective surgery. I just tell myself it adds character

I think in the last 10 years only a couple of people have asked about the scar, one was a neighbour of 10 years ...I wasn't wearing make up and we stood in the sun and she suddenly noticed it for the first time 😂

I haven't had any recurrences but I am alert and as soon as anything new appears on my skin I am straight down the GP.

Hope this helps somewhat!

Well-meaning but ultimately misguided comments about my facial BCC
Well-meaning but ultimately misguided comments about my facial BCC
Leopardprintlover101 · 20/10/2024 10:07

People are probably just saying anything they can to relate to you/show some understanding. It just so happens their experience is with older people. I’m sorry it upsets you but I really don’t think there’s anything behind it. Can you find a support group online for younger people?

Original poster
Nosebandage · 20/10/2024 10:19

@Towerofsong - this is extremely helpful, thank you! I think your scar is fabulous, what a great recovery. Mine was a 4mm punch for now, and if it’s all gone then that’s that - but I’ve heard it’s a long wait for the results. I think my eventual scar will be wider than yours. Just hoping it’s not too craterous which is how it currently appears

OP posts:
Hotafternoon · 20/10/2024 10:55

I had four surgeries for an aggressive rogue BCC and after the final surgery, I used several products and had quite a lot of scarring on my face due to the amount of operations I had.

I used an assortment of Vaseline, Bio oil, vitamin E oil that I found in the bathroom and a surprising one, cracked nipple cream! Not sure which of them was most beneficial but they definitely helped.

Original poster
Nosebandage · 20/10/2024 11:56

@Hotafternoon that sounds very stressful. This is my first surgery, and hopefully they will have got it all, but it has been treated on two occasions, once with efudix and once with aldara. Both times we got a big reaction, so some of the bcc was killed off both times, but it has clearly reoccurred twice which makes me nervous.

OP posts:
BillyBraggisnotmylover · 20/10/2024 12:05

Hey OP - not me but my dad has had hundreds of BCCs from his early 20s. He had quite aggressive surgical treatment to one on his face, a very long time ago now, likely before advancements in surgical techniques. While he has noticeable scarring, it isn’t off-putting in any way, and it sounds like your treatment was less extensive than his. I have to say, since switching to Aldara it seems like his scabbing is much worse than the surgical scarring although I know it’s more temporary. Another relative on the same side had a BCC removed from their nose and no noticeable scarring at all (a combination of genetics and early exposure to sun damage has done a number on quite a few relatives!). Given your age too, you will likely heal as well if not better than both of them. Good luck!

Hotafternoon · 20/10/2024 12:11

I've had the same, started having topical treatments on my face back around 2015, I've also had Efudix on my finger which has gone thankfully.

Since the ops I've had one more instance of a suspicious area on my face but touch wood, it cleared up very quickly.

I wear 100spf face cream from Eucerin and wear 50spf every other product i.e makeup, each day whether indoors or out.

I know I'm susceptible to further problems so I do what I can to hopefully, lessen the chance of further issues.

Wishing you all the best, I know how worrying BCCs are. 🤞

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