Well-meaning but ultimately misguided comments about my facial BCC

[Nosebandage]

I’m in the unlucky position of having had a chunk of my nose removed recently, after a several-years long attempt to thwart a BCC on my nose. I was young-ish when it appeared (early 30s) and have undergone 5 years of conservative treatment on it. Ultimately we decided to get it removed via 4mm punch right in the middle of the nose. I’ve had to change the bandage today and it really doesn’t look great, I’m a bit worried about how it will heal, and also if they haven’t got it all that I might lose more of my nose.

I’ve had various lesions over the years as it’s been treated with reaction causing creams, and I’ve been open and honest about what is going on, up to the limit of my comfort zone. There is one comment that really gets me though, and it’s when other people my age (and older) immediately launch into comments about their parents and the facial lesions they’ve had removed. I know it’s well meaning, but it makes me feel even more upset mostly because I’m so young. I expect if this were an AIBU you’d all be telling me I’m being really unreasonable, so I’ve not put it there, but some gentle perspective would be appreciated.

it is right in the middle of my nose. A massive crater. It’s going to be several weeks before I know if it’s going to be ok or not, and months at least before I know what it might end up looking like. I’d love to know if anyone has personally been through this - but please don’t tell me about your elderly relatives…

As a nurse I see lots of these. They do start off quite unsightly but heal very quickly

Vaseline is what recommended - blue pot Nivea is perfumed and contains irritants

I also have facial scarring though not from BCC and I was also told it's the massaging action not the cream that makes a difference. And then the scar reduction patches are an incredible invention!

I also use high SPF to protect my skin. But also tbh as the scar doesn't tan so any slight change in my skintone makes my scar show more.

I was definitely recommended Nivea though my scar is not on my face. It is most certainly the massaging action that makes the difference and the substance is to stop dragging the skin and stop it hardening.

ok, avoiding the anecdotes.

i had to learn to wear my scars like badges of honor. Some are from cancer and some are from other serious health problems. I was embarrassed, but I eventually learned that these scars are vestiges of my fight.

Also know, that by the time you become truly comfortable with the scar, it will finally fade enough that it is no longer noticeable. That may be 20 years, but it will almost certainly happen.

Of course no one relishes a scar on their face regardless of the reason. Really insensitive of people to mention it.

My son had an accident while young and had/has a very prominent scar the length of his nose despite being stitched by a facial plastic surgeon. I can tell you it has faded massively over time and although more noticeable in the summer ( it tans a different colour ) it's massively better than it was and it really was very very large and long .

Silicone scar tape is also amazing. Don’t mess around with creams. When you are at home, use the silicone scar tape. It is non-irritating and the gentle pressure keeps things nice and flat.

despite claims that it is reusable, it’s actually hard to reuse. You can buy rolls online though.

Hey there. I'm sorry to hear your going through this. I had my 6th BCC surgery a few months ago the are all on my forehead and have been pretty straightforward removals. Yes I have some scarring but use a combo of bio oil and Normal moisturisers. Some days the scars are more noticeable other days not at all. I think the cold weather brings them to the surface. Not sure if your on Instagram but there's a lady on there any 30 years old and she had the same surgery as you a few months ago and documented her journey and she's a great advocate now and always happy to have a private chat with people. anniewilson_01 is her insta name I think you'll find her pictures helpful to see. X

I would discuss your worries with your consultant. I think you need to reframe it as not being about the age you're the one making it about age. An older person is still going through the same visual impact, the same oh shit it could come back feeling.

As also someone with scars I do not want to wear them as badges of honor they just are and
mine are never going to fade to not be noticeable so it's not a one size fits all. OP the charity "Changing Faces" may have useful information for you

I had two moles removed from my face in my 20s and you have to search out the scars now. I used something called Pakua on it which reduced scarring and I think is still available.

Not sure about Vaseline, but if other people say it works, it's cheap and easy to get!

Not cancer, but I had a few nasty injuries and scars on my face as a teenager and you can't even tell they're there now. They were several inches long and needed multiple stitches at the time but honestly, I don't even remember they're there most of the time and DH didn't even realise I had scars until I pointed them out to him about six months into our relationship!

"I do not wish to discuss my facial difference" it does get draining I'm so sorry. I wish you the best

https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/

Just updating you all because you were so lovely. Healing seems to be going well. The wound is non existent apart from the dissolvable stitches that don’t seem to be going anywhere. There is a large crater but I think that’s actually the scarring from the topical treatments as it’s next to the wound. I’ve not been able to really appreciate how much tissue was taken out by the topicals before now. So I think it is almost certainly was a BCC and I’ll probably hear the histology some time after Christmas.

By topical treatment do you mean Effudix? I can't believe how well mine has healed after using that stuff and it was really awful, I was quite worried.

@LoafofSellotape both efudix and aldara. It seems as though between them they ate quite a lot of tissue. The skin surface did heal well but the scar is more visible than before so I assume the bcc itself has gone now.

Mine wasn't as bad as yours but it was a real mess, that Effudix stuff is brutal! My crater sort of gradually filled in.

I'm showing my dreadful telly preferences now but someone on The Real Housewives of Cheshire has a twin sister who had a cancer removed. I'll see if I can find it,she did an article on it. Interesting to see as she healed well.

Google Rachel Lugo twin sister and it'll come up,I'm finding it hard to link.