Advice Required Controlling Marriage

[Boxofstars]

I have been married 20 years he is 13 years older.

Always wanted his own way but last 10 years he has got worse and nasty.

He goes out drinking every night has done since we married i dont go with him.
He puts me down a lot and in public.

He hates my family i rarely see them. Wasnt there for me when my mum died 9 years ago.
Seems to love bullying me. i have no confidence and its making me ill really ill.

He owns the house we live in but told me if i did try to get half if we did divorce i would be sorry and he would get his younger brother to say he owns the house and we pay him rent.

Im worried he might try to kill me with stress.

You need to get some legal advice regarding divorce. Gather all the financial info you can and see a solicitor.

Contact a domestic abuse organisation and get some support.

Try Turn2us for information on benefits.

You poor thing he sounds absolutely horrible.

Contact women's aid. You need some help in escaping this situation.

Would it help my case if i went to my doctors and told them.

It would be an idea to get a check up anyway, you sound overwhelmed. Your GP will know of local services that could be useful. To find your local domestic abuse organisation type 'domestic abuse help' + your area. Call them as soon as you can.

What does the house deeds say.. its the documents the law are interested in not his lies.

Go to the doctors, also go see your family more. Don't let him isolate you anymore than he already has.

Try to out some money aside as you will need some cash to escape unless you can go to family.

His name is on the deeds.

Would the courts/ police take this seriously.

Educate yourself about the divorce process

• Wikivorce
• Divorce for Dummies or similar
• look at Form E.

As advised, gather all financial documentation, including pensions, mortgage, house deeds, investments etc and see an experienced family solicitor.

And keep your cards close to your chest until you are ready to file.

fuck him,fuck the deeds. he IS NEVER gony change.
run
womans aid.start over with fuck all at all.every day will get better(it wont if you stay)
You are strong,you re amazing,YOU only got one life- live it.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Im also worried about my safety.

His son is a violent ex addict known to police and courts doesnt like me never has.

My husband has said he has lots of pub buddies who love him and i will never be believed one bit.

Don't let him know you plan to leave. Call a domestic abuse organisation asap and they will advise you on safety.

Again.womans aid.its not about him or his junkie son
YOU matter.
Fake it,but act like it,call them n get out.
Your life is waiting on you.i know it's hard
Do it

He is not as sure of himself as he is making out, since he is trying to threaten you and intimidate you out of leaving him.

As you are married, you are entitled to half of everything, and no court is going to fall for any lies about his brother owning the house. Courts want to see evidence.

The violent son and drinking buddies may be a more realistic threat. It is really important you don’t let him catch wind you are leaving him until you are gone, and you need to go somewhere he won't find you.

Talk to Women’s Aid and Refuge www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/]]]]

Many solicitors let you have a free first half hour. It will be a really good idea to contact one, ideally one with experience of domestic abuse, to get an idea of your rights.

And yes, see your GP. When I divorced my abusive ex, my solicitor recommended I tell the GP everything, just in case a letter from them would come in helpful. We didn’t need it in the end, but it was helpful for me to talk to the GP anyway.

your case?
Lady -he is a ghrade a asshole-onlu case you need fill wi knickers sox jamies the tv remote,wifi box n some jeans tshirts then GO
his ""pub friends" his "ego" aznd believe me -cos i believe you court\police treating you like shite can stop.
you aint loose a damn thing
stop buy into his control n power-hes a rat..theres millions of them........
even from scraatch(especially from scratch)YOU can just be.drop him like a hot potato(id suggest branding but its probli outlawed,fuk knows why)

On sunday we went for a walk and i fell over i think i had a mild seizure im epileptic.

My hand and wrist are very painful and bruised and my knees.
Passerbys offered to phone a ambulance but he refused.

I wanted to go to hospital but he refused said its nothing.
Also he didnt want me to call my dad or brother.
Im in lots of pain.

How is he preventing you from getting medical attention? Has he trapped you in the house? You obviously have access to the internet, if he's holding you hostage you can contact the police online and email your family or friends and let them know what's going on.

You can use Women's Aid chat facility to get advice if you can't use the phone.

In the meantime put some ice on the painful areas and take painkillers.

He said im too soft and should toughen up.

He thinks its a sprain.

I know but is he threatening you or preventing you from getting medical attention? I'm trying to work out how best to help.

Not threatening no. But is saying i will be wasting a doctors time.

Im taking ibuprofen but its not cutting it.
Worried i have broke my scaphoid. Very bruised on my wrist and on the side where my thumb is.
My hand grip is weak.

It doesn't matter what he says, get some medical attention as soon as you can. I would get advice from NHS Direct.

Phone your family. You don't need this man's permission to do anything. However if you believe he will hurt you if you go, then contact a domestic abuse organisation for help.

You can use Women's Aid chat facility, ask for Ani in a chemist, see your GP or phone the National Domestic Abuse Helpline.

Sorry you are going through this.

Can you make a GP appointment to get advice about your injury today? Please seek medical attention. Does he let you go out without him or does he insist on coming with you when you go out? You don't have to tell him you are going to the doctors. Maybe speak to the GP so they can offer you support.

Do you work? Do you have a supportive colleague or work place that can help you through this?

Please contact women's aid as they will be able to provide you with support.

He is always saying i need to toughen up. He is 18 years older and came from a family of six.out of that family four have been divorced and one died in her 50s.

I wish to god i never met him.

Also if i did initiate a divorce he would try to destroy me i probably wouldnt get anything.

He has a criminal record from his late teens did time for attacking a man him and his ex brother in law said he was coming onto his sister.

Have you received any medical assistance? How do you feel?

Is he 13 or 18 years older?

The court won't care what his "pub buddies" think.

I think you need to do this from a place of safety such as a women's refuge.

Speak to your GP and tell the that you are really ill as a result of his verbal abuse. They might help you with a place in a refuge and you can orchestrate it all from there and get free.

Do not underestimate how his behaviour is affection you and use it as a tool to start this process.