Accidentally branded/burned myself

[DaftyLass]

...and now my wrist says ou
Or no, depending on which direction you are standing
I accidentally hit the edge of the turkey pan this weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving).

It makes me wonder how many other dumb things I'll do in my lifetime.

Tell me something silly you've done to distract me, please?

Ran myself over with an electric pallet truck. I stopped to let a customer pass, didn't let go of the switch, ran it into the back of my legs and went backwards over it. Only saved myself from a somersault by clinging to the tiller.

Dropped a large knife that ended up vertically embedded in my big toe.

I also have a scar on the back of my hand from a carpet burn sustained in a kind of human hamster wheel at a funfair.

Well I've caught my ears in my hair straighteners on a good few occasions.

Oh how long have you got? I swear the GP goes pale when I turn up and say "I don't know what I did but..."
My dad reckons I need bubble wrap

Rushing to get ready as a teenager, skidded wearing shiny tights and split my chin open in the door handle

Trapped my finger in a fire door as a child, fainted, fell back smashing a wall of glass, split my head open on the frame of the glass and then had a seizure. That landed me in hospital for 6 weeks

Dropped a Pyrex dish and a shard of it flew into my eye

Broke my foot and ankle getting out of bed

Herniated a disc so badly I needed emergency spinal surgery and still no idea how I did it

Roller bladed down concrete steps, fell (surprisingly!) and broke my coccyx

Punched myself in the face doing up my horses girth and gave myself a black eye

Fell down a manhole with one leg, cut it badly and gave myself cellulitis

You win 🏆

I tripped over the wire and caught my hair straightners after they flew in the air. Do not recommend, 1/10.

Oh my goodness!! I think you dad is right abou the bubble wrap - or maybe one of those inflatable suits that activates if it senses a fall!

Stapled my thumb at work with an industrial sized stapler. Blood everywhere, particularly on all the papers I was trying to staple. 🙄

Wow, some of these are wild! I feel much better about my own klutzy way of being!
It's starting to heal, so maybe it won't be so bad?

I've done the girth thing more than once. You'd think I'd learn, but no. Did it once just before a medical appointment and the GP was very concerned and kept asking if everything was okay at home.

I have nothing to add but that is a quality burn!

@DaftyLass OP, I caught my forearm on a hot grill and had two burned lines, it was visible for a while but faded within a few months

OP what about drawing a CH on your other arm?

@horseHorseHorse it's so easy to do!

Funnily my dad had a right rant when I got back on a horse after my spinal operation
Me "how many times have I injured myself coming off a horse?"
Dad "err. You got trod on. No that was on the ground thought"
Me "and how many times have I injured myself just standing still?"
Dad "actually you're probably safer on a horse"

@BillytheMountain love that idea, haha!

Just this morning I was meeting with a VIP client
We were sitting at a table having a coffee and I leant to my side to get something out of my bag and my whole chair toppled sideways with me in it. I ended up stuck on my side and had to crawl out of the chair
We were in a public area as well

Went to catch the food processor blade which was falling out of a cupboard, ended up with it embedded into my knuckle. Pulled it out and barged round the kitchen in a panic looking for something to stop the bleeding, spreading blood all over the place. Finally looked at it, realised I could see the bone and promptly fainted. Poor DH came rushing in to find me spark out on the floor covered in blood. Not sure which of us needed medical attention the most.

Once i absentmindedly put the end of the phone charger in my mouth and rested my teeth on it. While it was plugged in, and switched on. Gave myself a mild electric shock.

is the ‘o’ really a ‘b’ that’s missing the upright?

you could've told us you were going for a home branding of ‘aibu’

and been hardcore MN 😂

Sliced my hand open on a piece of metal, seconds after taking off my gloves
Broke a plate by slamming it into a door to try and catch it. I still have a piece of ceramic in my finger
Cut my leg so badly whilst shaving, that it needed antibiotics to sort and I still have the scar from it. DH bought me an electric shaver after that episode
Got hair dye in my eye (hurts like a bitch, FYI)

My dp rings his mum on a Saturday and the second thing out of her mouth (the first is about the weather) is 'how's Sharon hurt herself this week?'

Classics incude-tripping over the front door mat,breaking two toes
A year later,the same mat,same two toes where broken

Gave dp a striptease-got to my bra,punched myself in the face and fell over

Fell over the wet floor sign at work
The same sign I'd put there myself 3 seconds earlier

I often fall up the stairs

Stood a bit too close to the fryer at work and a drop of boiling oil spattered upwards
Into my eye

Trapped my arm in the drinks machine

8 months pregnant,I broke my elbow and had to go into labour with it in cast

Fell down the stairs,breaking my ankle in 3 places

Got pissed last Christmas on the baileys and got it into my head I could do the can-can
I couldn't-my arthritis refused to allow it and I landed on my arse

My darling mil thinks she should follow me around to keep me out of trouble!

(My boss did take me to one side to ask if everything was OK at home-he soon figured out its not dp beating me up-im the liability)

Quite minor compared to some of the above. I was unloading the shopping in the hall and wanted to put a large pack of toilet rolls upstairs. I threw them up high to go over the bannisters but they came back down and hit me on the bridge of the nose. Bit sore but no black eye or anything.

When the DCs were babies they always seemed to headbut me the day before we had to go to the doctor. She was very concerned about me for a while.

I recently momentarily let go of a handrail getting into the choppy sea, to let a man coming out go past me. I ended up wiped out by a huge wave and dragged along some rocks.

That's my imp of the perverse! Any time I see a charging cable I want to lick it.

My worst injury was while we were standing still - I turned to check something behind me, he threw his head up because of a bee and and somehow managed to catch my hand so I had two fingers on either side of his (very chunky) neck. Did a lot of damage to my hand and I was in a cast for months!