Has mumsnet changed over the years

[YouFoundMe]

I have seen a thread on which a lot of people have said mumsnet has changed from what it used to be 15/20 years ago. I've only been on here for 3/4 months so I'd love to know what has changed .. is it better or worse?(my guess from what people say is that it's now not as good as it was before).. why? What was it like before ..

It was very clique on top of this with some really bitchy posters who would all rally round against new posters.

It was very easy to spot people you knew as they would use their real kids names in some posts!

Nowhere near as funny or light-hearted. In fact some days I get quite depressed being on here.

You don't seem to see regular posters anymore ("MN Royalty").

There's a lot more sniping and passive aggressive posts.

There's no longer any Friday night madness.

On the other-hand we can now get through New Year's Eve without Justine having to pull the plug and shut everyone down!

I have been on here for 18 years and completely agree with this

I agree. I've been here 10 years under a variety of names. Someone said that MN used to be a village and it's now a city.

I agree with that.

The really big thing is that there are fewer funny threads.

^

This really.

It used to be really funny, typically quick-witted British stuff

That's not there anymore unfortunately

Everyone and their dog now has anxiety or ADHD. There was none of that on Ye Olde Mumsnet.

I wish we'd gone through the pandemic and lockdown back then. The hysteria would've been given short shrift.

Yes, I think social media is the main driver of all the negative changes. Social media is the opposite of a forum in lots of ways, because it is always about virality, the outwards ripple of attention.

When MNHQ started chasing social media engagement you could tell how it instantly started to corrode the community bonds here. That's why mediocre threads like Penisbeaker were destructive (though it was far from being the first thread with this effect).

And then of course social media started more and more to use polarising algorithms to assist virality, and platforms like Twitter became war zones. That nastiness crept onto MN too.

And it has crept into our real lives as well (Trump, Brexit, gender wars, etc) meaning that so many people are permanently furious and exhausted, ready to take out their frustrations on random posters.

The nastiness really has gone off the scale. There always was a mean streak, of course. MN used to be like the cloakroom's in an aspirational all-girls' school, patrolled by the elite gang who made caustic (but witty) remarks to pretenders. But now it is like the cloakroom of a failing inner city comp where everyone roams around punching everyone else in the face.

There's a lot of references to cliques, but I didn't really feel it was particularly cliquey.

It was more like arriving at a new hobby where everyone else knew each other. They'd greet you politely, ask a few casual questions and turn round and say "haven't seen you for ages, are you okay?" to the person they knew well.
I didn't find them unwelcoming at all.

Yes is Mummsieoftwoadorablebabes posted "Mummy is upset becas baby#1 (20yo) is not wanting to wear her pretty pink wabbit coat from mumma" there were comments of "Netmums is that way >>>>"
But on the whole newcomers weren't made to feel outsiders. Or at any rate, I never was one of the gang but never felt pushed out or unwelcome.

I have over maybe about 10 years dipped in and out of MN, usually for such long periods of time I forget my log in details so this is a new account. I preferred it back when I first started using it, I joined as I was a young mum looking for some other mum friends as after leaving school none of my friends had children as young as I did.

Comparing it now to back then, it’s a horrible place now and can’t imagine I’ll stick around long before leaving again. Some people on here are lovely but there are people on here who seem.. Not so lovely!

It’s still a good place for FTMs who need some advice or are looking for some support as your questions always get answered. But it was definitely better back when I was in my early 20s, definitely was more of a giggle amongst more serious posts as well. I can’t remember the last time I had a laugh on a post.

I agree and felt the same.

It's not changed as much as people seem to think.

It's the people on it that change themselves and either want/need MN more or less depending on their real life circumstances.

Then blame MN for not meeting their expectations.

I think it has changed - I've been here (mostly as a lurker) for 15+ years, since Ivillage disappeared (Due Dec 07 board anyone?). As PP have said it used to be so funny, especially AIBU but those laugh out loud threads are few and far between now.
I am enjoying the MAFS threads at the minute though and there is definitely a lot of humour on there. But then thats a shared interest and has more of a chatting with friends vibe to it.
I think there are a lot of posters on threads where OP is asking for advice (possibly on something quite mundane, but so what) who reply with a put down, just for the sake of it and I really don't see the point of that....but thats just the internet I suppose isn't it?

With the humour disappearing AIBU is the most obvious change.
I'm pretty certain an AIBU would be asked from a 'I know I'm being unreasonable but help me nest of vipers' or ' I know I'm definitely not being unreasonable about this crazy niche nonsense statement and you will all make me feel better about it'
I've just had a AIBU and stupidly stuck in some detail and it's become completely derailed by the newish hatred of SAHM.
We were always a mix on here, we needed dail up internet and computers, most of us worked, had kids, kids got in the way, we worked again, stopped again. Quite supportive of you can't have it all, so decide where the sacrifices will be made.
I don't miss Terry Wogan's cock but I do miss the running gags.

For me the main changes are intelligence, humour and tolerance.

As other people said there used to be so many funny threads. Now people seem to think laughing isn't allowed because some people are struggling with life.

People now seem to lack basic intelligence, there are so many people giving out bad advice and then threads of OPs saying stuff like "DH has gone grey and has chest pains but I don't know if we should go to A&E because I need to pick up Finley from his football practice and dinner's in the oven".

Lots of immature people typing out ridiculously long OPs with zero punctuation where you cannot even make out the basics of what has happened and then 4 pages later it turns out one of their friends didn't like a post or something and now they want to go no contact.

Lots of reverse snobbery where if you have a question about private school or investments or what car to buy or what holiday to go on you get people piling on saying that you're boasting or that it's insensitive to post as they can only afford a week at Butlins so basically you shouldn't exist.

More men posting and more US posters.

I used to be scared of FWR but now find it's pretty much the only place that you're guaranteed intelligent conversation, critical thinking and humour. With the odd mad TRA to make things amusing.

Yes, I could see the end was nigh when folk started putting 'light-hearted' in their thread title.

Anyone with half a brain could work that out...

Lol at "I don't miss Terry Wogan's cock"

I agree, it used to be Waitrose, now it's Tesco sums it up for me.

Agree that it used to be full of intelligent debate. I used it for educational purposes and still do, but a lot of nasty people now who seem to hide behind the anonymity. I wish there was a way of muting/hiding these people who goad.

Yes, now you mention it this is really true.
People moan about snowflakes etc (and I am a millennial so key snowflake generation!) but people used to just accept other people had different lives to them. Now unless you are living in a cardboard box one argument away from being sectioned you cant talk about anything without being told how lucky you are/how much worse you could have it/this isn't a real problem etc. I saw someone on a lighthearted thread the other day moaning "its so unfair, this ends up in trending with hundreds of responses but my post about my depression only got three responses"....its so arrogant! It's a chat forum people come to for light relief not licensed therapy.

It also used to be a bigger deal to name change - again because of the cliques/big names/community feel people tended to stick with their main usernames so others recognised them (although occasionally amend them with a seasonal related change- remember those threads?). So often if people did name change for a particular topic because they didn't want it linked with their main username they'd do a little spiel "proving" they were "real" mn-ers by referring to famous/classic threads

E.g. "name changed because outing but been here years, rivers of poo, yoni, pombears etc" I haven't seen that for ever, and it wouldn't really work now because the site is so big there aren't the same huge threads that everyone sees and remembers. It was a bit weird at the time but now quite nice to look back to as something quite specific to mn - at least i haven't seen it on any other forums.

Also i swear to god people used to actually PROPERLY READ the OP before responding rather than replying to something they made up in their head....but that may be wishful thinking!

Also i swear to god people used to actually PROPERLY READ the OP before responding rather than replying to something they made up in their head....but that may be wishful thinking!

Yes, and they would usually read the thread too. Which would be quite rewarding because the thread would be an actual conversation. These days a lot of threads are more like Twitter hashtags: everyone just chips in their individual two penn'orth on the themes vaguely raised by the OP, just as they would do on Twitter, without experiencing themselves as participants in a shared discussion.

And that trend is self-reinforcing. There is no point in reading the thread if each post is so atomised, any more than you would track back on twitter to look at the history of a hashtag.

I quite often don't RTFT these days, and it makes posting feel horribly lonely and ... <hesitates bashfully> ... masturbatory.

All of the above also, so many people now are not married and do not know the perils that lie in wait. "Partner" is King. SO many alergies/SN/ADHD.

Oh, we drank much more. Nobody was dianosed an "alcoholic" for having half a bottle of wine.

Agree on the Waitrose vs Tesco (metro) analogy.

Oh yes, the swearing
I've had po-faced, snide comments and even been specifically told off in the last year or two for swearing (just a mild fuck as well, nothing insanely blue) -they would have got their arse rear end handed to them for being so ridiculous in yonder years

Omg the drinking thing is so true! MNers loved a good ol’ bottle of wine mid week 🤣

I remember DH working away, logging in, seeing how many updates since I last logged in, laughing, drinking wine, laughing more after a miserable day at the coalface of tantrams, logging off and only when moving that the red had hit the spot.

Well, quite. If you needed the bleeding obvious pointed out in a thread title then you didn't deserve to be on MN. Back in the day, you had to serve your apprenticeship and earn your spurs.

around about the first instance of the 'light-hearted' threads, I received my first deletion and warning.

I was carrying on in the usual rambunctious style to which I had become accustomed and some light-hearted arse reported me for it. Cunt