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Original poster

Are you a “mums need wine” mum?

43 replies

Breadbasket5 · 13/10/2024 14:25

Since becoming a mum (primary school age kids) I’ve come across a lot of “wine o’clock” mums.

I find it interesting as , although most of my non-mum friends enjoy the occasional drink, alcohol isn’t important to them, and drinking is not in itself a hobby.

I feel like the social life around school parents is based around alcohol & popularity based on drinking. Which feels weird for a bunch of adults.

Anyone else find this?

OP posts:

Isitfridayyetsophie · 13/10/2024 15:16

Girasoli · 13/10/2024 14:56

No - me and my friends are more likely to joke about needing coffee than wine.
Even the rare times we meet up in the evening (rather than for lunch/in the day time with the DC) not everyone will have a drink due to pregnancy/breastfeeding/having driven.

Yes, me too. Meeting up for a coffee happens 200 times more than an evening drink these days anyway!

FergusSingsTheBIues · 13/10/2024 15:17

I fucking hate the message it gives to children; it’s so damaging.

Epli · 13/10/2024 15:20

I usually don't drink Sunday-Thursday. I usually have red wine, cocktail or some spirit on Friday and Saturday, but not a lot. Probably on average I drink an equivalent of bottle of wine/week.

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MumChp · 13/10/2024 15:21

No I am a tea mum. Always the kettle on. We drink very little.

Cattyisbatty · 13/10/2024 15:25

Redvests · 13/10/2024 15:06

I have a relative who is a ‘that’s why mummy drinks wine’ mummy which (in my opinion is awful).

So if the kids are noisy she says, in front of them, that’s why mummy drinks wine. If they take ages to get dressed to go out and then they ask for sweets while they’re out she says no mummy needs wine because of how you behaved earlier and she’ll buy two bottles of wine, if they’re ‘naughty’ before school she says oh mummy will be having wine for breakfast when I’ve dropped you off at school.

She has decor and clothes with ‘wine sayings’, she has decorated wine glasses, quirky corks, wine bottle holders etc. It’s her entire personality now that’s she’s had children.

But…

She doesn’t actually really drink wine. She pours a glass, takes a photo and put it’s on social media with a post about how awful her day/life/kids are in a ‘humorous’ way, then just tips it away and makes a cup of tea. Very occasionally she’ll have half a glass or a glass but wine gives her a headache so it’s very, very rare.

The same if we go out and her children are there she will order wine with a big deal about how they’ve made her need it and then takes photos and it ends up left while she drinks Diet Coke. If the children aren’t there she just orders Diet Coke.

Which is why I think it’s awful, she’s telling her kids they’re the reason she ‘can’t cope without wine’ but it’s not true.

How utterly ridiculous!!
I don’t drink now and was never really a ‘mummy drinks wine’ person although I did enjoy a glass of something after a rough day occasionally it was nowhere near a daily thing! I was def more of a coffee and cake person, 100%.

Businessflake · 13/10/2024 15:28

Before having kids I hardly ever drank at home. Buts that’s because I would be either working late or out. I didn’t spend many nights just chilling at home.

Now that I have kids and don’t go out very often I drink a lot more at home than I used to. Still probably drink less overall though

pasta · 13/10/2024 15:28

I wonder if this is no longer such a thing. I definitely had a group of friends when my kids were at primary school where we would always have a glass of wine if picking up from a playdate, but this is ten years or so ago. My impression is it might have stopped?

Devilsmommy · 13/10/2024 15:42

ANDisayWhatsGoingon · 13/10/2024 15:03

Got to be chocolate fudge cake if it's a posh coffee 😋

Show quote history

Definitely 🤤

dutysuite · 13/10/2024 16:01

No. When my children were little my husband worked in the city so was never home before 7/8pm, I’d never drink while alone with the children, I always felt that if an emergency happened I needed to be able to drive. If I fancied a glass of wine I’d always wait until my husband was home as he is a non drinker anyway.

Nothatgingerpirate · 13/10/2024 16:05

Not a mum and not a drinker at all.
😁
The stuff really doesn't help, I found out myself in the past.

DanielaDressen · 13/10/2024 16:05

I’ve never been one for following influencers on social media but I remember a few years ago someone linked to a ridiculous “mummy blogger” on I guess Instagram. Can’t remember her name but lots of videos of her pretending to be drunk running down the road and falling over fences with a bottle of wine in her hand. I think there certainly was a “culture” of yummy mummies drinking and wine o’clock. Like a fashion statement.

Personally i don’t drink apart from maybe at Xmas and often not even then. My friends might drink it out for a meal but not at home.

AmandaPleaseDotCom · 13/10/2024 16:11

I do enjoy a lovely glass of wine, and will regularly (a few times a week) pour myself one for while I'm cooking or after DD has gone to bed. I admit I do feel like it takes the edge off a stressful day. But I rarely have more than one - can't imagine anything worse than dealing with a hangover and a toddler tbh.

User37482 · 13/10/2024 16:13

I would love to but I would struggle to face the day after even one glass of wine. We do share a bottle of wine on Friday night. It’s not a moral thing to me, more of a “I’m going to have to be up at 6 tomorrow and wine now gives me the night sweats”.

BadPeopleFan · 13/10/2024 16:13

I have always liked a drink, I would have a few on a Friday/Saturday night from the kids being tiny (in their teens now). I am the only driver in the house so in an emergency it would have to have been a lift/taxi/ambulance or I would have to have been completely teetotal for the last 18 years.
I definitely don't do all of the 'wine mum' merchandise and my kids certainly don't think I drink because of them!
I just enjoy/ed a few glasses of wine/gin/vodka over the weekend.

Beekeepingmum · 13/10/2024 16:34

Not really noticed that at all. Not sure I have heard any mums talking about wine at the school gate or on social media. Isn't the trend away from daily drinking these days.

teatoast8 · 13/10/2024 16:37

showersandflowers · 13/10/2024 14:51

I don't think I know any wine mummies (I personally don't drink) but we're all still in the baby and toddler stage, either pregnant, breastfeeding or looking after toddlers (or all three). Maybe wine life comes later. I think we're all more coffee mummies if anything.

Breastfeeding never stopped me drinking

EmeraldDreams73 · 13/10/2024 16:40

I've never met a wine I like and don't drink much at all but almost every mum I know is definitely a wine o' clock person. I've always found it odd but figured I was the weird one as it's SO prevalent. All the kids are late teens/20s now but they're still the same.

I do tend to be a chocolate o' clock person myself, so that's the crutch of choice round here...

Bishbashtosh · 14/10/2024 10:35

Yes. Probably from upper primary age.

I don't drink at all. When i joke around with them or go along to a "mum's night" i don't really have real complaints about my husband or kids.

It does make it seem like i can't empathise or am judging others but i really am not.

And i would love to find "coffee/tea" mum friends but working full time means i don't have time to go for a chat after drop off. Even when i take time off I'm always rushing off to gym or some errand.

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