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Are you a “mums need wine” mum?

43 replies

Breadbasket5 · 13/10/2024 14:25

Since becoming a mum (primary school age kids) I’ve come across a lot of “wine o’clock” mums.

I find it interesting as , although most of my non-mum friends enjoy the occasional drink, alcohol isn’t important to them, and drinking is not in itself a hobby.

I feel like the social life around school parents is based around alcohol & popularity based on drinking. Which feels weird for a bunch of adults.

Anyone else find this?

OP posts:
Swearwolf · 13/10/2024 14:45

I suspect it's just something people say because everyone else does, like mutual bonding over something to complain about. I hear it a lot but don't think all these people are actually cracking open a bottle every night.

GroovyChick87 · 13/10/2024 14:48

I'm a mum who likes wine, yes. Not every day, but most days I'll have a glass when the kids have gone to bed, more on weekends. None of my "mum friends" like wine though, in fact most of them don't drink much at all.

Lesina · 13/10/2024 14:49

It is probably one of the most cynical marketing ploy of all the marketing ploys by the alcohol industry. Telling woman they can not cope without taking on a highly addictive toxic substance.

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showersandflowers · 13/10/2024 14:51

I don't think I know any wine mummies (I personally don't drink) but we're all still in the baby and toddler stage, either pregnant, breastfeeding or looking after toddlers (or all three). Maybe wine life comes later. I think we're all more coffee mummies if anything.

Floralnomad · 13/10/2024 14:52

Well I’m a mum and I’m tee total , never felt the need and stopped drinking when I was 18

username3678 · 13/10/2024 14:52

Wine O clock, Gin O clock, Prosecco O clock it's the new 'mummy's little helper'. There's an awful amount of heavy drinking and alcohlism in the middle classes.

OldKingCole · 13/10/2024 14:53

I used to be - but as part of giving up alcohol completely (because I wasn’t happy how much I was drinking) my eyes were well and truly opened to how drinks companies market, especially to women. This has insidiously crept in through social marketing over the last number of years.

Mintearo7 · 13/10/2024 14:54

Hardly any of my mum friends drink much. Alcohol and early mornings, interuppted nights, being run off one’s feet, dealing with fluctuating hormones, etc, just do not mix well. It’s not worth it and most mums know it. Drank waaay more before I became a mum.

FanofLeaves · 13/10/2024 14:56

Not really, I only have one and he’s just not particularly stressful, he certainly doesn’t drive me to drink. It’s other things that do that. Like my husband 😅

ANDisayWhatsGoingon · 13/10/2024 14:56

Mintearo7 · 13/10/2024 14:54

Hardly any of my mum friends drink much. Alcohol and early mornings, interuppted nights, being run off one’s feet, dealing with fluctuating hormones, etc, just do not mix well. It’s not worth it and most mums know it. Drank waaay more before I became a mum.

This ^ I actually find the opposite. You can't drink as much when you have young dcs to deal with, no lie ins, etc. We drink less since becoming parents, combination of that, and getting older I think. My sibling doesn't have dcs, and gets obliterated, I don't understand it. It affects you more when you're older, and that in combination with kids is a recipe made in hell.
It is a coffee or can't function for us!

Girasoli · 13/10/2024 14:56

No - me and my friends are more likely to joke about needing coffee than wine.
Even the rare times we meet up in the evening (rather than for lunch/in the day time with the DC) not everyone will have a drink due to pregnancy/breastfeeding/having driven.

Mabs49 · 13/10/2024 14:58

Lesina · 13/10/2024 14:49

It is probably one of the most cynical marketing ploy of all the marketing ploys by the alcohol industry. Telling woman they can not cope without taking on a highly addictive toxic substance.

And don’t get me started on that awful woman who used to draw stickmen for her kids with her permanently craving a drink. Like she couldn’t get through the day without the numbing qualities of multiple glasses of wine or vodka all due to her kids apparently. Nothing to do with her numbing out. I found it so depressing.

No I don’t drink every day nor do I crave it.

If kids are going to make you an alcoholic perhaps don’t have them?

Anisty · 13/10/2024 14:59

Pot of tea and a bit of cake beats wine every time .

pinkroses79 · 13/10/2024 15:01

I rarely drank when my kids were young. However, I did meet other mums that drank every night, including one who was literally counting down the hours until bedtime and wine time. I know a lot of people who would have a glass of wine at night. I did this for a short period when my kids were much older, just one small glass and not every day, but it was after I got divorced rather than because my children were stressful.

Devilsmommy · 13/10/2024 15:01

Anisty · 13/10/2024 14:59

Pot of tea and a bit of cake beats wine every time .

Or a cappuccino and cake if you're feeling fancy😂

ANDisayWhatsGoingon · 13/10/2024 15:03

Devilsmommy · 13/10/2024 15:01

Or a cappuccino and cake if you're feeling fancy😂

Got to be chocolate fudge cake if it's a posh coffee 😋

ManhattanPopcorn · 13/10/2024 15:04

I though that the mum/wine thing had become pretty dated. Statistically, people are drinking less than they used to.

ShowerOfShites · 13/10/2024 15:05

No, I'd say going for coffee is more popular really.

Plus I often see parents doing the school runs with coffees clutched to their chests.

Redvests · 13/10/2024 15:06

I have a relative who is a ‘that’s why mummy drinks wine’ mummy which (in my opinion is awful).

So if the kids are noisy she says, in front of them, that’s why mummy drinks wine. If they take ages to get dressed to go out and then they ask for sweets while they’re out she says no mummy needs wine because of how you behaved earlier and she’ll buy two bottles of wine, if they’re ‘naughty’ before school she says oh mummy will be having wine for breakfast when I’ve dropped you off at school.

She has decor and clothes with ‘wine sayings’, she has decorated wine glasses, quirky corks, wine bottle holders etc. It’s her entire personality now that’s she’s had children.

But…

She doesn’t actually really drink wine. She pours a glass, takes a photo and put it’s on social media with a post about how awful her day/life/kids are in a ‘humorous’ way, then just tips it away and makes a cup of tea. Very occasionally she’ll have half a glass or a glass but wine gives her a headache so it’s very, very rare.

The same if we go out and her children are there she will order wine with a big deal about how they’ve made her need it and then takes photos and it ends up left while she drinks Diet Coke. If the children aren’t there she just orders Diet Coke.

Which is why I think it’s awful, she’s telling her kids they’re the reason she ‘can’t cope without wine’ but it’s not true.

SisterAgatha · 13/10/2024 15:06

I’ll never forget getting to a kids party at a house (eldest kids were 6) with my three small children and half the other mums were drinking. Some were drunk.

it was 4pm. I come from an alcoholic home so don’t drink at home myself (realise this is not most people’s experience so I am lenient in what “normal” might be, I have no concept of it) but I had three children to be in charge of, I couldn’t be drinking in the afternoon 😳

BunnyLake · 13/10/2024 15:11

Not me. I just don’t like the taste of wine, especially if drunk without food. I’ve never really got the wine obsession to be honest. Or gin, that’s even worse. I’m not completely teetotal, I just can’t see the appeal of either of those drinks and I never ‘fancy’ alcohol.

BunnyLake · 13/10/2024 15:12

Redvests · 13/10/2024 15:06

I have a relative who is a ‘that’s why mummy drinks wine’ mummy which (in my opinion is awful).

So if the kids are noisy she says, in front of them, that’s why mummy drinks wine. If they take ages to get dressed to go out and then they ask for sweets while they’re out she says no mummy needs wine because of how you behaved earlier and she’ll buy two bottles of wine, if they’re ‘naughty’ before school she says oh mummy will be having wine for breakfast when I’ve dropped you off at school.

She has decor and clothes with ‘wine sayings’, she has decorated wine glasses, quirky corks, wine bottle holders etc. It’s her entire personality now that’s she’s had children.

But…

She doesn’t actually really drink wine. She pours a glass, takes a photo and put it’s on social media with a post about how awful her day/life/kids are in a ‘humorous’ way, then just tips it away and makes a cup of tea. Very occasionally she’ll have half a glass or a glass but wine gives her a headache so it’s very, very rare.

The same if we go out and her children are there she will order wine with a big deal about how they’ve made her need it and then takes photos and it ends up left while she drinks Diet Coke. If the children aren’t there she just orders Diet Coke.

Which is why I think it’s awful, she’s telling her kids they’re the reason she ‘can’t cope without wine’ but it’s not true.

That’s some really bad parenting going on there. 😯

Faldodiddledee · 13/10/2024 15:14

It is still quite common, most of the mums I know drink wine at home, and some when out, although not getting slaughtered. One or two drink very large amounts, with their partners. I don't drink, but am often the only one, and I socialise with different groups, as well as in twos and threes. They don't talk about 'wine o'clock' though as that would be very naff.

FedupMumof10YearOld · 13/10/2024 15:16

Nope

GroovyChick87 · 13/10/2024 15:16

Mintearo7 · 13/10/2024 14:54

Hardly any of my mum friends drink much. Alcohol and early mornings, interuppted nights, being run off one’s feet, dealing with fluctuating hormones, etc, just do not mix well. It’s not worth it and most mums know it. Drank waaay more before I became a mum.

I agree with this. When mine were babies and toddlers I drank very little. When they're likely to wake for feeds during the night and you're on call you can't really enjoy it. But now they're a bit older I can appreciate a nice drink of an evening. Not because my kids are stressful, ( they can be) but that's not why I drink. I just enjoy it.