Is this salary okay for a family of 5? Why am I always skint!

[WhatIsWithMe]

I live in a large town in the north. It doesn't really have much going for it but weirdly house prices are pretty high here. Maybe as it's close to a popular city but generally it's not an expensive place to live.

We are a family of 5, 2 are teens and one in primary school. We have a small house with a mortgage of £500/m.

After tax, etc mine and my partners combined income is £3900/m. Its looks like a great figure but every month we always find ourselves scrimping as we don't have enough money.

The thing is, we already budget, we cook from scratch, we don't have any other debt, we don't spend much on clothes, restaurants etc much and buy only what we need. Yes, we do have the odd takeaway, day trip, treat etc but they aren't a regular thing. We don't holiday abroad and can only afford a week away in the UK.

I'm just confused. Where am I going wrong? Is it that the cost of living has crept up on us or is it that, that income is just low.

Yawn. Maybe read the room before posting about private school. It reads as some sort of stealth boast but on totally the wrong thread

I’ve found as mine have hit their teens costs have escalated. It’s like funding 4 adults. Particularly my 16 year old boy - he does not stop eating ! Then their clothes are adult clothes - size 9 shoes, mobile phones, school trips, bus / train fares to school/ college. We earn more than you living in a similar town up north but have a way bigger mortgage. I’ve noticed this last year we seem to be skint a week after pay day !

I guess it’s not all frittered- good quality food, clothes/things for the children, training and career development costs, doing nice things together, home improvements, commuting into London, private healthcare (two of four of us have chronic conditions and one child has SEN). We’re not buying breakfast and lunch at pret each day- much more into taking our own lunches and a flask of coffee but I guess our other choices make for a costly lifestyle.

Maybe our ideas of 'big' days out differ, but for my family it looks like things such as Go Ape, Harry Potter World, Legoland etc once a month.

I genuinely don't understand your question.

I was making a point about a joint income of around £60K- what the OP has.
She asked it this was a good income.

I said not especially, because it's roughly what 2 teachers at the bottom of the pay scale would earn (aged 21/22.) £30K each.

And as the OP is older than that, their combined income isn't very low but it's not high.

I hope this answers your question. (UC didn't come into it at all.)

Your post has no relevance to the OP at all @DailyEnergyCrisis .

You have an income of 6 figures close to £180K pa.

Is this a stealth boast?

Stealth?

Agree that having a no spend period is a good way to break the fritter habit and afterwards, you will really start to question that latte/ impulse purchase/ eyebrow threading or whatever.
I'm a reformed fritterer, currently out of work so every penny gets questioned, it's so easy to just spend spend spend and wonder where it all goes otherwise.

For me eating/ drinking out was the killer. I always try to plan my meals/ snacks now and take a flask. Every other weekend is a 'quiet' weekend where we try not to go out, or if we do a low cost option like the park.

£20 per month for kids pocket money...for all 3 kids?!

Council tax?
Prescriptions?
Mot, car insurance/maintenance, tax
Life insurance
Other insurance? Home/contents
Any pets? Their food/vets/insurance
Gas, water electric?
Subscriptions? Netflix? Spotify
Internet/Tv/sky?
Direct debits?
Standing orders?

Phones? How many do you have ? On contract ? How much ?

Feeding/clothing/after school activities/transport costs etc for 3 children ( 2 teens! ) and 2 adults is hugely expensive. I can understand why you have no 'spare' cash but it might be worth looking at your bank statements.
As someone on a restricted budget, I would be looking at batch cooking/no take away coffee/bulk buying. Please excuse me if these suggestions sound patronising, I say these to myself also

This.
Once they are 14 they’re basically as expensive as an adult. Worse in fact as they eat like Labradors, constant clothes shopping, sports stuff, trips out. Whereas the adults here don't eat much for fear of middle aged spread, have plenty of clothes - enough to see us out probably, and are too exhausted (and skint!) to go anywhere!

It’s not a lot by the time you’ve paid your bills, are you running two cars? I’d expect shopping and toiletries for you all to be £200 a week (£40 each per head a week) then you’ve got clothes for 5, phones, pockets money it really doesn’t go as far as people think…

unless they live off the one mumsnet chicken a week!

Spot on!

Not for 5 people including teenagers who in my experience are permanently hungry!

As so many PP have suggested, you need to look at every single penny that goes out. Download the MSE budget planner to help ongoing. Look at 12 months bank and credit card statements.

People spend money without thinking about it and tapping a card makes it very easy. A friend of mine was shocked when they looked at how much they spent every day on buying lunches and coffees.

Another friend buys clothes that they want rather than clothes that they need. When they stopped doing that, they saved a fortune.

People often have several tv subscriptions at the same time when you can't possible watch everything. Cycle them so have netflix for a while, then when bored of that, try Amazon or Disney and so on. If the kids don't like it then tough, they aren't paying for it.

Ugh I've spent a good while looking at my bank statements. I forgot that DH has a dd set up in the last few months for overpaying the mortgage which is 300 per month so that doesn't look as bad.

However the rest of it has gone on food and crap on myself! ! I can't believe it. All those get togethers with friends, family etc have been costing me a fortune. I have a large family on both sides so that has contributed alot. And then theres been days when I've been too late / tired to cook and got a takeaway.

And then the other big chunk is my costs. It looks like only have £50 a month to spend but I'm spending way over! The winter boots, expensive hair oil, trainers, outfits! It's all my spending that I need to curb. It's not helping that I am using klarma alot which I need to stop!

This has been an eye opener! I am glad at least that it's not something that I can't change. I can cut down on eating out and spending on little things for myself.

Question to ppl who budget really well. How do you split everything. You have your non negotiable expenses like bills, car etc but how do you know how much to allocate for things that keep changing like gifts / weddings / clothes etc . Sometimes I might need to buy a lot of stuff all of a sudden. How do you plan ahead for things you don't know you might need.

Teenagers are expensive to feed, clothe and also for school trips and extra curricular activities plus petrol to get them there I find.
Bills etc are high too, regardless of where you live. Look honestly at all bank statements and see if there are any areas you could cut back on. Can you look for promotional options now kids are older to increase your incomes?

Our joint salary is just over £4000pcm and we are expecting DC3 next spring. We live comfortably, enjoy frequent trips out and an annual holiday, and have enough to save.

However, our mortgage is currently £650pcm and we only own one car. Childcare is also cheaper because DS receives the funded hours.

I'd definitely avoid payment plans and Klarna if you want to seriously think about spending less, the mentality of "Only x per month" as opposed to "Will cost me y" puts you at jeopardy of buying all sorts of crap you don't really need.

Be strict about x amount going into a savings account each month - that money doesn't get touched until absolutely required, and is taken off the current account before any other bills get made. Having less money in your current account will make you rethink small purchases.

When we have big purchases, we take it out of our savings account rather than current account. Again, the mentality of our savings going down by hundreds or even thousands is different to just spending from our current account. We'll save until we can afford the new carpet/washing machine etc outright.

Rethink how you socialise, is there more that can be done at home/in each others' homes/picnics/walks etc you can do rather than meeting in town/cafes/restaurants? I feel like every time I step into town I'm down by about £20 instantly! But I get just as much enjoyment going for a walk in the park.

I also set up ways of making money for treats specifically, e.g. I tutor on top of my full time job, do some surveys/mystery shopping, sell clutter on FB marketplace/Gumtree etc so I can have a guilt-free fun fund.

I've also given up on clothes shopping other than on Vinted, I can get just as good quality clothes for much less now!

For me, it was 'little' weekly top-up shops which amounted to approx. £300 a month (on top of a weekly £100 shop for 2 adults and a cat).

Well, it sounds as though you're determined to get things under control.

Don't have regrets - you've enjoyed the money you've spent and now you're going to have different priorities. In time, you'll be back in control and (barring job loss or other change in circumstances) be financially worry-free.

I use You Need A Budget app. It's £99 per annum but I love the peace of mind and control it gives me. Once set up, it's so handy and stops all of the panic when the insurance is due for renewal. You can get a free trial and there are loads of tutorials and YouTube vids to study.

My first priority was to build a good savings cushion for emergency boiler breakages etc. I stopped spending on frivolities until I knew where my income was going to be needed for the next year.

Once I'd got those two pictures clear, I was able to relax a bit more.

In fact, it's now addictive in that I love checking my balances every Sunday afternoon and can see that all is well or that I can transfer £ into a savings account or plan an extravagant cocktails and dinner session with friends. Or (rarely) that I need to tighten my belt for a bit.

We set aside money for each of us each month. This is "fun" money, for things like coffee/meals out/takeaway or new clothes that are wants and not needs. How we use it is our personal choice.
Everything else goes into the savings after paying bills. It can be used for things the kids need, house stuff or holidays.

Family of 5 here too. Had a look through you list and a few things look low compared to us. Are you maybe underestimating?

have you actually taken your bank account and dissected where you are spending? Try grouping things together to make it easier to analyse.

Monzo/starling accounts can be useful for budgeting as you can set up saving pots. We have the following pots:

Ad hoc Childcare (ie school holiday) - I add £100 a month
Birthdays £150 a month
Christmas £200 a month
family fun £350 a month
holiday - up to £500 a month but depends on how well we’ve budgeted
Monthly bills £3750 a month (insane mortgage so don’t take this seriously)
non monthly bills (car tax, not, house insurance) £400 a month
Family Expenses (think prescriptions, kids hair cuts, swimming lessons)
Rail commute £120 a month

Main (non savings pots) account
Groceries (about 500), fuel (150), after school club (100) stay in the main pot. We each also get a fun fund of 300 directly into separate account. (literally anything that doesn’t involve the family). Clothes, haircuts, gym, meals out

whenever we spend on something that isn’t categorised a main account spending - we take it out of one of the pots. It’s dead easy - it’s not a separate account or anything.

@WhatIsWithMe We save £150 a month into a fund for those extra expenses (teen announcing their shoes don't fit etc). We keep it to around £1000. So if we use some, I try to hold off purchasing again until we build it up. It keeps these extra emergency spends out of the regular budget and therefore keeps us on track as our monthly spending in the current account is more predictable.

I also try to spread out purchases I know we have coming up. DD is going on a trip and needs clothes/shoes, so I've bought some this month and will buy something else next month, same for family gifts etc. This is coming out of our regular budget but it's better to be £50 than £300 in one go!

Great work though OP, the first step is always to identify your overspending, then you can make steps to improve things.

I like the sound of a budgeting app but worry they will keep putting the price up every year! Do you know of a free version of budgeting app!