Anyone awake to chat? Very lonely.

[Stillwaitingforsummertime]

Just that really, at a very sad and lonely place in my life and no one irl to turn to.

Who will hold you to ransom?

Bad people, that's who.

@LibertyCaps but what if one of your mistakes was reeeeally bad, and you are ashamed of it and it really hurt another person.

@Stillwaitingforsummertime I’m awake and here to chat. My DS (4) is being an arse about sleep and so I’ll be here for a while.

First bit of advice: get it all out. It’s a safe space, no-one knows you on here. A friend once told me that the opposite of shame is connection and I thought that was very wise. Things seem to hold more weight when they are knocking about in your head, and they lose some of their potency when you tell them to another person.

secodnly, you are not your mistakes. There’s a world of difference between ‘I did a bad thing’ and ‘I am a bad person’

and thirdly, a different person used to say to me ‘never a failure, always a lesson’ and I loved that

anyway, here for it all, get it all out

Can you share your mistakes with us and the impact they had?

There's always a way out @Stillwaitingforsummertime believe me.
Most of all believe in yourself. You didn't plan to be where you are. So plan on how to escape at any cost for your wellbeing. It's too high a price to stay.

Hey lady, I've done things in my time.

@Stillwaitingforsummertime, I'm 51 now. It's all OK? Really.

Life goes on. Feel free to message me.

There's nothing you can do that would shock me.

And @Stillwaitingforsummertime I don't know about hurting people.

Being real, a lot of people have made truly awful mistakes. That hasn't meant they weren't able to go on to live a content, peaceful and fulfilled life.

People have committed heinous crimes and gone on to find peace within themselves and a life worth living.

Our mistakes and wrongdoings always feel GIANT to ourselves. I bet you can look at other people who have made mistakes, done things wrong and even hurt others, and know that that doesn't mean they're unworthy of life and happiness.

I've made mistakes which have hurt other people. Now, years later, I can look back and accept that I was in the wrong, and feel an appropriate level of remorse and sadness that I hurt someone, yet accept that I have grown from that time, forgive my past self and feel at peace with myself in the present. It really, really is possible. It might not feel like it but it is.

Another one here to chat OP! Please don’t feel lonely, it’s a horrible feeling. I’ve fucked up a lot over the years and it’s biting me on the arse now as well so I’m sure we have a lot in common.

im here too

How do you mean?

Im around too OP

Late to the party but I'm here and I've made mistakes that have hurt people.

I learned from them and would never ever repeat the actions and also apologised in action and word to those involved. That's a good start.

DM me any time xx

I’m here if anybody needs to talk 👋

I think other than something truly criminal, there is nothing that you can’t come back from. And even really criminal things there are often ways to make amends.

Hope you are ok OP. X

@Stillwaitingforsummertime if one of your mistakes has caused heartache n left you feeling ashamed ! ALL of mine have! Never by intent,but I'm a repeat offender,in varying degrees. Shit as it is... sometimes THATS how we grow.

I totally get if your heads in that just landed/wake up call space you prob very fragile,even stunned. It's ok.really. worlds still turning x

Op, please don't give up hope. You have made mistakes that have hurt, but so have many fundamentally good people. You need to realise that you still have value.

People absolutely make mistakes and fuck up and change their minds about things (Except mine were somehow deemed unacceptable). I can absolutely see things from a wider and less judgemental perspective now. We learn and move on from our mistakes. Goodness knows I’ve climbed a fucking mountain out of the dark place I was in, yet to certain people I don’t deserve any credit for that because I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get in it in the first place. But I guess I broke a trust and that’s very hard to make good again.

I'm here too. Can't sleep. Tossing and turning in the hell of my own making.

@Stillwaitingforsummertime (fuck d.em) seriously. If you're aware n accountable for your wrongdoings, made considerable effort n still get drawn back into casting up.... Fuck d.em
You HAVE to live with yourself,there's always room to improve. Accountability,apology n ..keep on moving. Breaking a trust or having your trust broken is always a very personal pain to navigate. Sometimes the only person who can ever truly forgive you is yourself. Xxxx

Everyone makes mistakes. Without them they don’t live and in many ways, our mistakes define us because they allow use to grow. You are not your mistakes. They are something you’ve hopefully learned from. Right now, the biggest mistake being made is the person, who can’t move on, and that’s not you.

I really appreciate your comments and perspectives everyone, you are a really understanding bunch and it has really helped me tonight. I find that in real life people tell you to open up about stuff but as soon as you do it makes them uncomfortable and they don’t want to hear it and just tell you to be grateful. So I’ve learned to be wary of opening up. I don’t have anyone who truly cares enough about me to deal with the tough stuff with me, which is very lonely.

Yes things are definitely biting me on the arse

I’m wide awake too….its a starry night, it helps to look at the stars, it helps with the grief of a lost loved one sometimes.

OP, we are all just on this planet trying to find our own way forward. It’s such a rotten struggle at times, especially the feeling alone with yourself.

Your life is precious, no matter the mistakes you have made. If you recognise your mistakes, that’s a fantastic way forward and it means there’s a way out of this despair.
Give yourself a chance now…I promise you that you are worthy of lots of chances to look for and find your way. We all have lots of chances. We can seize any one of them to make things a bit better for ourselves. You really do deserve all the chances in front of you.
There’s love and goodness inside you. And courage too.
I’m sending you a big hug if that’s ok with you.

Thank you for your support @LibertyCaps i definitely need a cheerleader like you.