If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

I'm in a FB group which I won't name for privacy but every week there is a post about "mum how do I..."
And people often post how do I know this, how do I wash this item of clothing, how do I make soup, how often should I wash my hair, all the basic stuff people weren't taught

It's heartbreaking but so many people ask for help in there

My parents moved to social housing when their provate landlord decided to sell up. I hated where we lived and never felt we fitted in, but it gave me a good perspective of how people who are poor live.

People in low socioeconomic groups often have low self esteem and low expectations, so something to address this in younger people is really important. It's also important in adults too but potentially more difficult to influence a change.

You don't say how old the DCs are, but giving them access to what they might enjoy - it could be music classes, dance classes, reading clubs etc - could open up new ideas and improve their self esteem.

Jobs like yours are so important @flowersintheatticus

I think dentist care is a huge one. It's so hard to find NHS dentists now and if you have a lot of other issues it must be low on the priority list.
Children then don't get used to going and it becomes a scary impossible task.

Reading this thread really brings home to me just how important public libraries are.

Some of these posts are heartbreaking.
Basic hygiene and warmth, food.

My parents were extremely careful with money growing up but I never wanted for any of these things.

We were actually very well off, in comparison. My parents were just careful and I never really had the nice clothes that I wanted. My mum just wouldn’t buy anything “cheap” but I didn’t care 😂

Think that’s why I developed a fuck it attitude once I had my own money.

However, I do appreciate that I was extremely fortunate and also extremely loved.
I wish I could go back and give you all the things you needed.

As much as the books, I loved the tables! I still love tables. And the quiet.

FYI blue Peter badges get families cheap/free access to a lot of places, you could encourage children to get them or have a project all together with your first set of children if you do a club style weekly thing where you all earn the badges together. E.g. design and paint a mural on the wall of the room you meet in/paint it onto plain wallpaper and hang it up.

A laptop or computer for university

a good education

My mothers first language was not English so she couldn't help me with my homework

I was labeled as special needs due to a accident at birth it affects mainly muscle control .Although it can take me a little longer to work things out my mind is perfectly capable.Yet due to this label teachers would assume it meant i was stupid .

I hope education is better nower days as when i was younger if i wanted to learn to play the piano i got told you wont be able to learn that here's a xylophone ,or you cant learn to use a sewing machine here's a sewing needle .I got treated as if i was stupid and learnt theres no point trying i am too stupid to learn .

What is the point in risking university getting in a ton of debt when i am already poor when i have poor English skills

I love reading and science but never really got a chance to work out what i wanted to do .I was always put down ,subsequently all i have is a dead end minimum wage job surrounded by people that drive me insane

kids need people who will encourage and listen to them help them develop their skills .Find what they enjoy and teach them a way to turn that into a future

It's a big thing really but a bus pass so I could have got to town where the library was without having to spend my money to do so.
We lived in a village so mostly needed to go to town to do anything but of course that costs money. It was 4 miles I think so walkable but that took time. I had a bicycle at one point but no lock for it so couldn't really leave it anywhere. It seems ridiculous now but getting a bike lock from someone or somewhere didn't even occur to me then.

Discreet easy access to sanpro. As a shy and poor 11 year old I can't tell you how much anxiety this used to cause me.

Also underwear. I had 2 pairs of knickers growing up and a mum that didn't do laundry very often. It still makes me so sad no one taught me good hygiene and bought me what I needed.

I loved reading but had no one to tell me what to read, I would have loved the classics but instead read odd books just by randomly selecting some from the library.

Cultural activities, museums and theatre. Learning about nature. Spent hours in parks but learned nothing, and I was a kid that absolutely loved learning new things.

A good haircut.

Decent shoes that don't fall apart quickly.

Decent winter clothes.

Someone to take you to the dentist. I booked my own first dentist appointment at the age of 14 when I realised everyone else was going.

A mentor, just someone to talk to. Encourages you and shows you how to try a new sport or instrument. Just someone who takes an interest in your life.

Also decent career advice

dental hygiene, financial education, access to coding classes

@rosydreams I can understand that. I had a head injury several years ago, and it wasn't that it changed my IQ. I still understood things, it was just like my processor was slowed down

Look locally for some kind of bike repair/share thing. I've donated pushbikes to my local one. The kids ones are fixed up and given to children, theres a shop class for repairs to teach and provide equipment to fix, and the adult bikes are given to adults who would otherwise walk to work. Adults also able to use the shop class to fix punctures and replace bits.
Best thing around my area, I love trying to get old bikes for them. Also older bikes less likely to be stolen as not worth much.

All of this ♥️ especially stationary, I was terrified of lending the little I had to others, it gave me a reputation of being a cold bitch

I didn’t grow up poor but have taught kids in this bracket a lot. What would have helped them at school from a teacher point of view would be clean uniform and PE kit, good shoes, stationary for homework and a quiet space to do it in and access to books.

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName

for me its my understanding of audio information understanding written is easy but holding onto its audio translation is a different ball game.Just poor audio memory .Most people assume i am lazy dont like to listen.Well when your brain struggles some time with audio information it can look like that .I eventually learnt just to match images in my head with the sound.My visual memory is fairly good thus why my fastest way to learn is to read .Sometimes you just need more patience with people to work them out

I don’t really know the best way to articulate this but I always have felt that it’s taken me longer than everyone else my age to figure out how to be part of society. I guess not much advice (of any use) or wisdom was given to me. I feel like this has held me back and caused me problems.

I guess what I’m suggesting is easily
accessible and discreet life advice. I’ve learnt through observing others and sadly I’m still learning! A mentor not just for academics but for everything else a parent should provide.

I think this is a good point. We were only ever expected to be factory fodder. No guidance, aspirations or understanding of what further or higher education would entail or the benefits it could bring.

It doesn't need to be a huge project to make a difference either, I did a 3 day TUC workshop which opened my eyes.

@rosydreams that's cool that you've learned that adaption

re: Haircuts @flowersintheatticus if you contact your local colleges I'm sure a few of the L3 hairdressing students would donate their time and skills to build their portfolios.

Some these posts are not simply about growing up poor, they are about neglectful parenting.

I grew up with a single mum who struggled to afford basic food items, but would never have been in this state. She managed to budget enough to buy soap and laundry powder.

Decent shoes. I clearly remember walking in the playground and the back of a new shoe fell apart. I was mortified.

A decent haircut not a botched home job. I still remember my mum getting angry at me for not sitting still and she deliberately gave me a very short and badly done boys cut. I remember turning up to school and having to make a joke about what happened.

Activities like swimming and cycling. My parents were too poor in time and money to care.

Advice about careers and work experience. I was extremely bright and went to a top university and have a very successful career but all of that was in the absence of any parental support or guidance.

Mental health support. Being in poverty comes with a whole host of other problems.

Most of these problems were not wholly about lack of money but perhaps being poor and having money worries meant less energy for other things. I have had a lot of therapy in my later years and do not look back on a particularly happy childhood.

Access to clubs. Rainbows, brownies, dance classes. Whatever there is in the local area.