If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

[flowersintheatticus]

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

Somewhere calm and quiet to do my homework with space. A table where I could spread my books out and have a hot drink and a piece of toast.

Some one to tell me how often to wash myself and my clothes and help me learn how. I was filthy and didn't realise which meant people always had a certain response to me - but I didn't know why. I thought it was just because I was an awful person but I was dirty. Had nits for months and months at one point and just thought that it was something to put up with.

My parents were well educated but things were pretty tight during most of my childhood especially at one point when my dad had a prolonged period out of work. My mother was exceptionally good at budgeting and stretching food, and we had a lot of handmedown clothes from other families. But also, as others have mentioned, they made good use of free resources and activities. Obviously the local library. We didn't go to the cinema but we frequently went to a local geology and mining museum that showed films. Another museum had holiday workbooks that probably filled two or three days of every holiday for a few years and we looked forward to them. Once money could be found to start them, music lessons and associated costs were prioritised.

On the subject of music lessons, their value is limited if a child doesn't have the opportunity to practice at least two or three days during the week; that was a problem my mother had had. Another aspect of never having privacy or access to a quiet space of one's own.

It's crazy how teachers back in the day didn't do anything

Trips to places my family wouldn't be take me too like local nt places.
Cultural places, woods... Cafe.. Nice things to take you out of the situation

Even now, some MP a while back said, no child ever came to harm for want of a good wash. Bullshit.

Lovely to see this answer. I manage a similar project and this is exactly what we do over the holidays!

Also to add, there’s lots of free things in the Uk compared to where I grew up BUT quite often poorer families don’t access them. In my experience for example, my parents had no interest in cultural activities like libraries or museums, further education wasn’t talked about and they didn’t care about what was going on in the community. So I think sometimes a person or mentor that takes children to these things would be the best thing.

I work for a similar sounding project and recommend getting in touch with Good Things Foundation, who can provide SIM cards with free minutes and data

Appalling. It's stops you putting your hand up. Joining in a game. Complaining. It destroys your self respect. It never really leaves you.

I would say education because some poor people come from back grounds where the parents can't help with homework as they never had a great education. Also to be told you can achieve anything you want without sounding patronising. I was told I'd amount to nothing because I was in a single parent family. My cousins who was in a family with a mum and dad was told they could be doctors, lawyers, etc. out of all of them me and my siblings are the only ones with jobs, own our houses, have cars, jobs, are married, etc.

I've never really analysed it but I always felt less- than and shy

I wasn't poor but this is what would have helped my friends:

Family planning advice for the girls (real stuff - not the official version). Like how to cope if there is abuse in the home and the boyfriend has offered a safe house overnight but expects sex in return. This was a thing among my friends inthe 80s and 90s, and their lives would have been less derailed if they had known what to do.

Confidential advice about sex from about the age of 13. Questions like "can I get pregnant by having sex during my period?". This is a question which a dear friend of ours blurted out during the "any other business" section of our young enterprise company board meeting. When we looked blankly at her and she followed up by saying "because I have". She really needed an adult around. She was a wonderful mother and the son was a fine solid chap.

Toiletries - toothpaste, deodorant, sanitary products etc (all sparingly bought/used in our house growing up)

Stationary - we'd get in trouble at school not bringing in a pen/ruler/other equipment (scientific calculators are expensive sometimes), but my mum wouldn't/couldn't buy everything

Shoes - specifically ones that don't leak, my socks were always drenched by midday and my feet were crinkled and cold by the time I got home

Vouchers for a free Costa coffee/Sausage roll at Greggs/Cheeseburger at McDonalds or similar - just because often children will rather miss out on going with their friends to these places than admit they have no money yet again, it'd be a nice treat for some to feel included

Other than that just to feel acknowledged and seen, to feel accepted and supported, that they have somewhere to turn to for help. I know all children need those things but I feel like poverty diminishes your confidence a lot, especially as a child, and it makes asking for help so much more difficult.

My teacher told me I was Social Underclass. I still don't know if it was cruel, or just factual. Maybe he was saying it in distaste to the tory government ways. I don't know.
Edit- oh wait, we didn't have a tory government then

Honestly I just wanted to be warm. It is so horrible always being cold.

are you involved in this as a volunteer? I'd love to being a volunteer in a project like this.

Some of my schools went out of their way to teach hygiene, utterly useless if there isnt any soap/shampoo/clean towels/clean clothes to wear.
Where do children get money from for soap/laundry powder/toothpaste etc?

How do children know what to buy?

What would have done for me was a mentor, who didn't judge the stench coming off me or from my mouth. Or the frankly nasty clothes I had no choice to wear.
A nice person who would have told me things will get better and I will be able to leave home and have a better life. And some warm bloody clothes, although soon enough they too would have stunk too.
Even better if they had reported my living conditions and got me out.

I wish someone had got me out too

Exposure to role models of similar backgrounds who have been successful.

My local library has free period products now in their toilet, always well stocked and a sign saying take what you need
They also are magic at producing a cup of tea/coffee and biscuits if you look like you need one or it's cold/raining

I go there a lot as I can't afford to buy the amount of books I read and they will always have a few books I might like and a cup of tea waiting

free period products

School uniform, decent shoes, decent glasses, vouchers towards school trips, educational resources like work books.

Also, not sure how viable it would be but if the family's could have a get together, like a park or cafe or something because the biggest feeling for me was feeling on my own, knowing others are in the same situation would have helped.

Being able to pay for some of the optional things, like leavers hoodies and extra curricular school trips.

Access to tutoring/education support. I was very lucky that I went to a great school with high aspirations. I'm the first (and currently only) person in my family who's been to university but I needed quite a bit of help to navigate UCAS etc as my mum had no clue about it (or how to get uni finance etc).

At one point I nearly was got out. Parents acted like they had saved us from some dark fate.
But I had it better than some of you. My mum could, and did, cook. The cold though, and the damp and chilblains, and the grubbiness. And also I had a library on the way to school and it was a real help.