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If you grew up poor, what minor/low level thing would have helped you?

427 replies

flowersintheatticus · 10/10/2024 19:17

Obviously the solution is money, which isn't really an option. I'm involved in a very small scale community 'levelling up' project to help dc who are in the lowest socio-economic bracket. What practical/human resource might have helped you? The families already have access to food bank/heating vouchers, so it's more aimed at the children and their development, education and wellbeing. Any suggestions welcome.

OP posts:
Geranen · 10/10/2024 20:14

A place to study.

Yougetmoreofwhatyoufocuson · 10/10/2024 20:16

To have an adult to really look at you so you’re not just one of the herd, to know your name and encourage your skills. I always felt that I would never catch up because so many of the foundation stones of my education were missing. If one person could have taken the time to coach me through my gaps and I would have done better than 2 O levels.
Decent clothes are important, but to break through the barrier of ‘them that are well cared for and thriving’ to lift up the left behind would be a good step up.

Wishthiswasntmypost · 10/10/2024 20:17

Clothes that fitted...fashionable would be amazing. Decent haircuts. Appearance separates teens and affects confidence a lot

NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/10/2024 20:17

Decent socks, tights, underwear, a jumper that fitted and wasn't made of nylon, shoes that fitted, a waterproof coat, gloves, a hat, scarf, waterproof backpack, a lunch box, a flask and things like colouring pens, pencils and paper.

And access to toiletries that were for me, nobody else - so toothpaste that didn't burn my mouth, a new toothbrush every six months, introducing the concept of flossing or using interdental brushes dentist visits would have been nice, soap, shampoo, conditioner, a comb and brush, proper covered hairbands, facial cleanser and moisturiser as I got older. Although I'd have also needed access to showering facilities and a hairdryer, too, as hot water cost money and a hairdryer was beyond my wildest dreams - you'd have to show me how to use a shower, though.

From working in a school, though, I think the most needed are small washbags of toiletries (travel size ones are great) and socks+gloves (fingerless as an option). Everything feels better when you're clean and your feet and hands are warm.

ETA: I almost forgot. Plasters. At least with your own collection of plasters and 3 inch adhesive wound dressings, the holes that had been cut into your feet by the shoes could heal without your cheap, crunchy socks getting glued to the scabs and having to peel them off every evening.

MoneyAndPercentages · 10/10/2024 20:19

Okay this thread is making me tear up 😢

Echo lots of what's already been said, especially sanitary products and safe spaces.

MSLRT · 10/10/2024 20:19

A decent bra. Wore my sister’s cast off with a huge safety pin in it. We were completely different sizes.

Onedaynotyet · 10/10/2024 20:19

To know that you are clean is such a thing. We had no hot water until I was 15, no privacy, nowhere to wash clothes. It undermines everything, to know you are not clean. I still value a hot shower so much.

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName · 10/10/2024 20:20

Reading some of these, it isn't poverty to be unclean in the UK, it's neglect. I've ben the poorest you can probably be in thus country, at times, and my son was always clean

Blueblell · 10/10/2024 20:20

If levelling up and they don’t already have access to a computer and WiFi - then a computer - WiFi Maths/English tuition/ Programming classes if they are interested.

Nottodaty · 10/10/2024 20:21

Shoes - I had holes in mine. I still remember a horrible day where the heel fell off :( My Dad had to superglue it back on.

One thing I was lucky I had a bike and a local small libary - I could borrow books and had a space to do homework. I was heartbroken when it closed as the other option was to far to travel to :(

My parents view thought you should leave school at 16 and work - I dreamed I could go to uni but knew there wasn’t the funds to do it. As someone else said my parents view was uni for the rich only.

I tried to do sixth form , had to do two jobs and look after my siblings so really struggled and eventually dropped out :(

Mugcake · 10/10/2024 20:22

Some kind of bursary for school trips? My heart used to sink whenever the teacher would announce one as my parents wouldn't be able to afford it

Itssodark · 10/10/2024 20:22

I grew up poor but my parents were exceptionally good at budgeting. I think otherwise I agree shoes, coat. I also think writing equipment, note pads, books as one of our friends never had stationery. Fruit and healthy snacks.

Agree on school trips, my parents often commented on the cost.

Onedaynotyet · 10/10/2024 20:24

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName · 10/10/2024 20:20

Reading some of these, it isn't poverty to be unclean in the UK, it's neglect. I've ben the poorest you can probably be in thus country, at times, and my son was always clean

So have I, and so were my kids. Because like you, I valued it. My parents were old fashioned, oblivious, angry and probably depressed. I was brought up on variations of 'Nobody going to be looking at you.'

Blueblell · 10/10/2024 20:24

Lots of people get rid of old computers - sponsors for WiFi?

I think having a bike is so useful and again many people have them cluttering up their garage and would happily give them to those who needed them.

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName · 10/10/2024 20:25

i'll take that back actually- there was once in temporary accommodation where the water didn't work

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName · 10/10/2024 20:26

Onedaynotyet · 10/10/2024 20:24

So have I, and so were my kids. Because like you, I valued it. My parents were old fashioned, oblivious, angry and probably depressed. I was brought up on variations of 'Nobody going to be looking at you.'

Yeah, I think mine had mental problems too. They weren't hygenic themselves, Still, it's hard to get over it now

Howdidtheydothat · 10/10/2024 20:27

Hope (that life will get better) Confidence (that they can achieve a successful future without poverty). Through encouragement, praise. Laughter. Listening. Somewhere warm and dry to go to (other than home). Treats (instant hot chocolate and other non essential goodies, books, pens, stationary, sports equipment (balls, boots, rackets) device chargers, bike lights, bikes, days out to attractions, cinema, swimming pool), chance to learn or practice skills (cooking, crafts, mechanics, IT skills) that may help with work or career choices and provide hobbies ideas that are low cost.

TotallyShocked · 10/10/2024 20:27

Keeping the cost of the school day low is a well known thing. CPAG Scotland have lots on this.

MyStylish40s · 10/10/2024 20:28

Swimming lessons, to be taught how to swim
Proper dental care
Learn a musical instrument
Days out to something cultural and educational

mauvish · 10/10/2024 20:31

To have shoes replaced when they became hole-y, rather than having to carry on wearing them to school for weeks.

Clean dry towels, rather than one towel for the whole family that was only changed once a week.

As others have said - a quiet, supportive place where homework can be done - or even just reading, writing, drawing, thinking.

AFingerofFudge · 10/10/2024 20:34

A really nice warm blanket. I never got used to the cold and every winter was fucking miserable.

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName · 10/10/2024 20:35

It's weird, I have this daydream sometimes. I go back in time, and it's only for a day, to my child self. I got to a specific doctor, one I still have today and I trust. I tell him, '' I need supplements, I'm not eating properly at home and I don't feel good and my teeth are starting to break''

RudithJudith · 10/10/2024 20:35

In terms of basics-sanitary products and decent underwear. I remember me and my sister sharing one bra for about a year. It had been given to us in a bag of donated clothes from a neighbour so wasn't even new or the right size. My pants were from primary school and had cartoons on and holes so I used to dread getting changed for PE in secondary school in case anyone saw them. Things often broke in our house that couldn't be fixed or replaced in a short time frame e.g. oven, washing machine and for a few months the toilet so support with getting things like that sorted would have been amazing too although we were never allowed to tell anyone.

In terms of hobbies and opportunities-funding for school trips, money for revision guides and equipment etc (I guess now that would include WiFi and tech) I'd have loved to learn an instrument, plus decent career advice and mentoring. Plus space/time to actually study

Citylady88 · 10/10/2024 20:35

These won't all be relevant but may each apply in different cases:
As someone already said educational mentoring. Hearing from people with jobs you've never even heard of can open your horizons. Someone to attend school /college /uni open days etc.
Also basic finance advice. Even for the very young. If you grow up in poverty/debt etc it's really hard to develop good financial habits. Like saving even £2 a week from a part time job even to get you started.
Having meals together with other people, eating different types of food etc.
Any exposure to other types of activity or hobby, culture etc even as simple as watching a different sport on tv as a group.
I also think learning about politics is important, it helps to see how the world around you works and understand your part in it.

JazzyJelly · 10/10/2024 20:36

ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName · 10/10/2024 20:20

Reading some of these, it isn't poverty to be unclean in the UK, it's neglect. I've ben the poorest you can probably be in thus country, at times, and my son was always clean

Probably, but there's lots of overlap, and clean school uniform would have made a big difference to me.