Second hand toys…Is it really that bad?!

[Bunbum]

So I was talking to a friend this afternoon about how expensive this xmas is going to be (for various reasons). I’m stressing to be honest as my eldest (4yo) is hopeful to be receiving a few specific toys which are costing up to £100 each (honestly, a paw patrol lookout tower is over £100……. Like what?!).

I looked on FB marketplace and there’s lots of these toys on there that are clearly in good working condition and I asked her if she thought I should just get some second hand toys and wrap them up but she was mortified and said that she couldn’t gift her child a second hand toy for christmas….

Is it really that bad?!

I buy a mixture of second hand and new all the time for my 5 year old. She has never cared nor questioned it.

@Bunbum we bought DD a paw patrol lookout and multiple other vehicles for £50 on marketplace a couple of years ago. We cleaned it up and gave it to her for Christmas. She didn’t care that nothing was packaged and actually enjoyed being able to play with it straight away rather than have the faff of unpacking it all. We could have afforded to buy it new but it seemed such a waste.

I really struggle to get on with people like your friend.
We really need to lose this mentality that giving children a bottomless pile of toys which are all brand new means they are loved. It doesn't and spells a total and complete disaster for the planet.
If it is in good condition with all parts intact, second hand is the way forward

Our DS is only little but he'll be getting a third hand jumperoo as one of his Christmas presents, and likely more from Marketplace or the Charity shop. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Your friend is being ridiculous, wasteful, and must have more money than sense.

My dc always get second hand stuff, they're young adults now. I asked them when in their teens if they'd prefer new or more second hand stuff. They all said they preferred second hand.

100% a sensible thing to do. I buy a lot of my DC (3) presents and toys off vinted. Things like the leap frog ice cream cart that are £40-60 new and bought for £15. It's a no brainer! I would say we are comfortable so don't 'need' to buy second hand but I like a bargain and to save money. I would also rather put any spare money into days out, trips, experiences than toys.

No, it's not bad at all. Your 4 year old won't even notice and it's better for the environment.

I don't buy any toys new for my children (2 and 4 YO). There's no shame in it it's just financially sensible.

So he's only 4. He's not going to know or care.
We used to do an annual toy swap about 6 weeks before Christmas where along with a couple of glasses of wine we'd bring our children's old toys and swap them between friends.

One of my daughters best presents was a dolls house I'd got from the charity shop for £7. It was exactly what she'd asked asked for - I couldn't find a yellow one new!

Of course it's fine. Sensible, practical and more environmentally sound.

Does your friend think that perfectly useable goods should be piled into the skip? Sad.

Buying second hand is only sensible and I would definitely recommend. But also, buying several £100+ presents for a 4 year old, particularly when you can't afford to, is completely unnecessary. Encourage them to choose one main present -the toy they really, really want - and the rest of the pile can be smaller-cost surprises/balloons. Don't get stressed/into a financial pickle.

I've done it. Nothing wrong with second hand. 4 year old won't know the difference.

My dc are all teens and I’m trying to sell some of their big toys that are in great condition, but it’s the posh people who turn up in brand new Audis buying them. I think poorer people see second hand as a reflection they can’t afford stuff whereas wealthier people are confident in their finances and love a bargain. Buying second hand makes so much sense. The stuff I’m selling is in perfect condition but would cost £££ new.

For my first everything was new, clothes, toys, books, dolls, you name it. But my heart would slowly break a little when she smeared bright orange Doritos all over her white Ted Baker romper. Or she would chew the corner of her hungry caterpillar book. Or god forbid, we lost a part from Elsa's frozen castle. Honestly my stress and anxiety was through the roof. When my second turned into a Paw Patrol fanatic there was hesitation, it was all second hand, most of it like new. Same went for clothes. I honestly don't know what I was thinking with my first, it was all such a waste of stress and money.

I was about to say that there are lots of class indicators at work here. I was raised if not in poverty, then certainly on the bones of our backsides. My parents are now lower middle class for want of a better description, and would rather die than be seen to be buying or giving second hand gifts (or using second hand anything for that matter.) My cousins, who all stayed in our grim depressed town are the same - they don't have a pot to piss in but their kids get piles of gifts, tech, branded clothes, etc.

I am now firmly in upper middle/privileged social group (not a boast,.but relevant to this discussion), and my kids get second hand stuff all.the.time. Most of their sports gear is handmedowns from older teammates, and I'm an enthusiastic user of a buy Nothing group for bundles of clothes from older kids.

Sometimes I'm incredibly a bit judgy about it, but then I think about how hard it would be to be so concerned about what other people think of me and how I provide for my children. I don't give a shit if people think I'm poor because of the gifts they get. I am happy with my bank balance and recent 401(k) statement 😀 Heck, I could tell them just the neighborhood I live in and that would indicate how we are doing financially. So if nothing else, feel glad that you don't have such fragile self-esteem 😐

Son is getting a second hand bike and a car garage for his birthday this year :D I save money, help the planet and my boy will be thrilled. What's not to like? :)

After reading the latest research on microplastics, buying second hand toys is the best you can do for your child’s future, especially if it’s made from plastics or other synthetic materials. Microplastics are everywhere now, in food and water we are consuming and the air we are breathing and the more we buy this stuff the worse it gets.

Horses for courses. I don't think there's anything wrong in it. When it's stuff in plentiful supply second hand such as paw patrol, I always do a quick search. I got a huge peppa pig collection of sets and figures for peanuts - more variety and bigger quantity than I would have bought new.

My 7 year old and I were looking on the Amazon prime deals yesterday and she asked if we could look at the second hand stuff! She meant on fb marketplace, so then had fun looking at all of that. New is nice for the packaging but other than that you could get just as good for less than half the price. So why pay like £50 for the box?

Of course second hand toys are fine. I would be happy to give my child second hand gifts but would buy new (or new with tags) for someone else’s child. It is much better for the environment to reuse things where possible.

I am careful to only buy recognised brands (both secondhand and new online) as I don’t want to end up buying stuff that originally came from Shein and some of the international sellers on Amazon where lots of products have been shown to fail safety standards.

I wouldn't be bothered about anyone else doing it but I wouldn't do it personally.

Can I ask why? I genuinely can't think of a single reason not to?

Your friend is crazy but there are a lot of people who think that way unfortunately.
My DD wanted a Barbie dream house, no way was I paying full price for one when there were loads in barely played with condition on Facebook!
Second hand things are better for the environment aswell as your bank balance.

Edit- it's not a money thing, we can afford these things.
I have just read the posts about class and I totally agree. I grew up very working class where my parents accounted for every penny and I had lots of hand-me-down clothes. My parents budgeted for everything and we (sister's and I) were well provided for. I imagine if FB market place was around at the time they would have used that. I remeber getting our first games console... it was second hand, bought from my uncle and wrapped up in a toilet seat box! I loved that Sega and I still have it in a bag in my attic. I have no problem with second hand as I know the value of money, I'd say I'm middle class now but keep an eye on the pennies and pounds still.
I still people from where I'm originally from and, yes, some don't have 2p to rub together but constantly borrow for branded gear and expensive new things every Christmas.

For me I'd rather spend my money on experiences and holidays than stuff. It's not just the kids that get second hand, I also use it for myself. Vinted is my friend for clothes!

It’s fine. It’s much more environmentally friendly to buy and reuse the giant plastic toys. Some people are weird about second hand. Like they see themselves at the top of the consumer chain or something. I think of it as an opportunity cost when you pay full price. That’s a bump to the food budget or a terms worth of activities for a dc. Think what else you can do with the price difference.

That’s interesting. I think I’m similar, grew up poor in social housing. My mum was a lone parent on benefits for much of my childhood but was very budget conscious so we were fed and bills paid but no spare cash for stuff so we didn’t have it.

I don’t feel terribly rich day to day but comparatively I have assets around 300k of equity in house for example. I’m happy to buy second hand. In the 80s where I lived lots of poorer people where I lived would have wearable wealth, chunky gold mainly. Sovereign rings seemed to be the thing as were seen as almost as good as cash as the sovereign coin had an intrinsic value. Locals could use them as collateral behind the bar and run up an account till payday.

I do wonder if having the latest iPhone / on trend designer wear is a bit like the wearable wealth of the 80s. Maybe I’d take pleasure in having a snazzy new £1k phone if that was my biggest asset. Maybe if I was really rich I’d take pleasure in £5k handbags as there would be no opportunity cost. Certainly in my circle the squeezed middle are probably the most openly environmentally conscious and people are forever shunting bags of outgrown clothes around generally for free as they were given most of them but still in decent condition.