Barber Kissed My Toddler On Cheek.

[Justfeelsweird]

Just taken my son ( 7 ) to get his hair cut. Also had my toddler with me (2.5)

Barber finished the cut and I was paying and he picked my toddler up and made a fuss of him and kissed him on the cheek.

I thought it was a bit odd and it's been on my mind since we got home.

What does anyone else think?

I'm guessing a Turkish barber (we have dozens in our city)

We used to frequent a Turkish restaurant and all the staff would fawn over DS. Once, when he was a tiny baby, he started to fuss. The waitress who was our favourite, asked if she could walk around with him - she wandered around that restaurant, in line of sight, for 30 and sang to him the entire time

Some countries around the world actually like children OP

It's cultural. If you don't like it, that's understandable, but go to a different barber and that's that.

I get there are cultural issues at play but I still don’t think it’s appropriate, and you’d have to be living under a rock to not know that? Plus, I actually think most kids would prefer not to be kissed by strangers.

I’m shocked at how many people think it’s ok. I wouldn’t worry that it was sexual, or the barber was dodgy etc. But I absolutely would not want a stranger kissing my child. Yuck

Same as when people come and stick their hands into the pram of a small baby. It’s overstepping and inappropriate

Obviously this is the extreme end of the scale but this came to mind when i read your post. Trigger warning SA

Maybe he has children of his own? Did it automatically without thinking?

I'm surprised how many people wouldn't bat an eyelid! I would not like it at all... of course it's too late to say anything now but you're not wrong for feeling weird about it at all.

Yeah normal in much of the world. I wouldn’t think anything of it.

If anything - the observation is how very strangely cold we Brits / Northern Europeans are, in particular towards children!

Very noticeable almost everywhere we have travelled how much attention the children get vs in the UK where they are mainly just ignored. I wonder how we ended up a culture where people don’t interact with children - must seem very odd to immigrant cultures in the UK.

Normal, just culturally different. As a child in an Italian family I was very used to being kissed and cuddled loads. In Portugal recently, a lot of strangers interacted with the kids affectionately and it took me a bit of getting used to but it was lovely to see that level of well meaning positivity and affection towards kids as a default reaction.

I would have hated that - and more importantly I know that my daughter would have been terrified and hated it too. I wouldn't have thought it was anything dodgy, but I don't want some random bloke getting that up close and personal with my kid - it might be his culture, but it's not mine.

Is he Turkish? My sons Turkish barber always gives him big hugs and when we holiday in Turkwy waiters open kiss the kids cheeks, it's never come across in a perv way, just genuine love for little ones.

Lots of peodophiles have their own children too….

@Radiolala

Who is saying they don't?

Because why would it matter if he has kids if his own??

Doesn't stop it from being massively inappropriate and weird

@RedRobyn2021

I never said that it wasn't inappropriate. Just that it might not have been meant in a pervy or weird ay, even if that is how it came across. As others said, it might be a cultural thing as well.

It's no wonder we have a reputation for being a buttoned up nation.

Some of the reactions on this thread are just off the scale. A warm and friendly barber gives a child a kiss on the cheek (in front of the mother). And someone's suggested a SA trigger warning for this thread? FFS. What's happened to us?

There's nothing nicer than being among those who are warm, hospitable, and love children.

In some cultures it's normal and doesn't mean anything inappropriate.

Just keep your child close to you if you want to avoid it happening next time.

It maybe very normal for him and the people he interacts with here too. So maybe he doesn't know.

I agree, British culture is very cold towards people in general I think, compared to a lot of other cultures.

What do I think? I think in 20 years time when everyone is lamenting the crazy paranoid and emotionally unstable young adults are, psychologists will track it down to parenting in the 2020s 🙄

I turn into a tiger from hell when my daughters are perved on, but I would have been fine with this. Very different, to my mind.

My youngest once fell flat on her face outside a newsagent, and roared like a rhino. The shopkeeper rushed out saying, "I know the cure! I have grandchildren!" Without so much as a by your leave, he popped a paper funnel in her mouth and just poured a load of sugar down!

It cracked me up thinking how some of the more uptight school mums would have reacted to that ..

@Ketzele that’s so funny, I love the paper funnel 🤣🤣

We have moroccan neighbours and the men are sometimes more affectionate than the women. Hugs and cheek kisses all round. When we first started to get to know them they asked the kids first, now the kids run to them!

Neither of my sons would have liked this at all at that age. Especially my youngest, who would have been pretty upset. Objectively there's probably nothing wrong with an adult kissing a small child on the cheek in this scenario, but some children really dislike it and their feelings are important too. Cultural or not, it's always better to err on the side of caution when it comes to other people's kids.

It never ceases to amaze me, how the Brits, one of the most culturally diverse, and well travelled nations on earth, still find it uncomfortable to be affectionate to their fellow human beings, particularly children. I absolutely adore the fact that I, and my children, were loved, and hugged, and kissed, by all and everyone, family and community when they were growing up. I am half Italian, although a British, and my kids adore Italy, and my once uptight British DH, has gone native too.