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Original poster

I don’t feel for my wife the way I should

47 replies

Life456 · 07/10/2024 07:42

Basically I don’t find my wife attractive anymore. She was very controlling as well. I basically had an affair as I was convinced it was over. Absolutely the wrong way to do things I know! She’s gave me a second chance and lost loads of weight and for some reason changed about her opinions what I can and can’t do. She looks great but… I still don’t want to be here. I will never find anyone who loves me as much as her but I can’t return that love. I want to move on but also I can’t watch her move on! I know that’s so selfish. What do I do, say maybe try?

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 07/10/2024 07:48

So:

  1. you admit she loves you and you know it;
  2. you cheated on her;
  3. She made the effort to lose weight as you no longer found her attractive;
  4. you don’t want her to be able to move on even though you want to yourself.
Have we got that right??
DustyLee123 · 07/10/2024 07:49

Move on. You say she’s controlling yet you don’t want to see her move on, double standards there.

Moonshiners · 07/10/2024 07:50

Fuck sake. Just leave. Life is short. You don't like her or treat her well. She is controlling and thus doesn't treat you well.
I hope you don't have children but if you do be a decent father and reasonable ex-husband. If you don't have kids, move on and live your own lives.

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Relationship problems
KindOf · 07/10/2024 07:50

Of course you can watch her move on if you make some minimal effort to behave like a decent human being.

Rendang · 07/10/2024 07:58

I’d say your wife needs to lose more weight. About 13.5 stone of useless male should do it.

CrazyGoatLady · 07/10/2024 08:05

Right, so let me get this straight.

Your wife was controlling and you didn't find her attractive so instead of ending the relationship you had an affair, then stayed.

You're still not happy but because she now looks good, you can't face the thought of her moving on with someone else?

Grow a pair and do something before you have another affair and cause more hurt. You know what you need to do. You're wasting your life and hers. Idk what anyone here can really tell you, other than get your head out of your backside.

spottedinthewilds · 07/10/2024 08:10

You are a cunt. Let the poor woman go.

HTH

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 07/10/2024 08:12

No, there's no point in trying if you don't want to be there. In response to earlier problems, she made the effort to improve her appearance and behaviour for you; you responded by having an affair!
She deserves much better.

Br1ghtMoons · 07/10/2024 08:13

This is depressing, your poor wife.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 07/10/2024 08:13

Would the realisation that she is so controlling about the same time you fell into the OW vagina, I bet you told her lots and lots of stories about your awful wife and made her pity you.

Now you don't want your wife, but you don't want anyone else to have her either.... until your next affair.

You couldn't be more basic if you tried.

Savingthehedgehogs · 07/10/2024 08:14

Your wife deserves a better man than you. Do the honourable thing and leave for good.

TheDoorsOpen · 07/10/2024 08:17

Can't men come up with a better narrative? Or at least a new one?

Poor me with the fat, controlling wife. I couldn't help but cheat on her and now she's done everything I've demanded to keep me here and I don't want to be here but I'll be damned if I let her be happy with another man! I'll just stay and keep cheating on her

🤢

Br1ghtMoons · 07/10/2024 08:22

These type of men view women as their property. Doesn’t even matter that he doesn’t love her anymore. Once his property always his property. Petty little man.

MeMyCatsAndI · 07/10/2024 08:23

Just leave, it's not fair on either of you.

Calliopespa · 07/10/2024 08:38

Oh and am I right in guessing the controlling bit and her “changing her opinions about what you can and can’t do “ more or less involves not creating or pursuing opportunities for shagging other women? Goddam: this woman sounds a right killjoy! 🤣

Please don’t keep this poor woman dangling any longer. Just let her move on whether you like it or not. She’s like a fish getting her mouth torn on your hook at the moment.

Boobygravy · 07/10/2024 08:40

Life456 · 07/10/2024 07:42

Basically I don’t find my wife attractive anymore. She was very controlling as well. I basically had an affair as I was convinced it was over. Absolutely the wrong way to do things I know! She’s gave me a second chance and lost loads of weight and for some reason changed about her opinions what I can and can’t do. She looks great but… I still don’t want to be here. I will never find anyone who loves me as much as her but I can’t return that love. I want to move on but also I can’t watch her move on! I know that’s so selfish. What do I do, say maybe try?

Just leave.
Let your dw get over you and she can find a decent dp.

Calliopespa · 07/10/2024 08:43

To be totally honest oP, you sound like you don’t deserve her.

Let her go and I hope she moves on and upwards.

ViciousCurrentBun · 07/10/2024 08:44

You have squandered love, you now have to live with your behaviour. What she does after breaking up is zero concern of yours.

TeaMistress · 07/10/2024 08:48

You are a cunt. I hope your wife dumps you. Go and ooze back under your rock

SedentaryCat · 07/10/2024 08:58

Interesting that she 'changed in her opinions what you can and can't do'. I wonder why.

OP you need to move on. You say you don't love her so let her go. She'll be happier without you - and by the sound of it you'll be happier too. Chances are she didn't lose weight for you.

Also, you say she loves you and you'll never meet anyone who loves you that much...How do you know she's not biding her time until you slip up again or she's ready to leave? Does she actually love you or do you only think she does?

She had to watch you cheat....what is it that you are afraid of? That you'll have to watch her having a great time with another man? Move on.

HollyLollyMollyJolly · 07/10/2024 09:14

Let the woman go!
She seems to be the only one making sacrifices for you ans the relationship to work. I believe you're the controlling one or atleast also controlling based on your own post.

You're controlling the relationship and how you want it to go. Of course she forgave your cheating because you're probably the one in control.

Let her go for her own sake. No one cares if you want to see her happy/move on or not, she deserves to be happy and to move on. You're only waiting for a better opportunity before you dump her. What happened to the person you cheated with, is she not enough too?

Giggorata · 07/10/2024 09:20

i hope this weight loss is a sign that your wife has checked out of this marriage, with a lying, cheating pig.
Why are you on here, anyway? Aren't there any men's forums?
(soz if you're not a man, but you sound like one)

ICarriedTheWatermelon · 07/10/2024 09:24

Am I the only one who read the title and knew another woman would be involved?! 🤦‍♀️

Funny how men start to find fault with their wife after they do wrong. Talk about projecting.

OP, take some accountability- you cheated. You are the problem.

Beezknees · 07/10/2024 09:25

Well, yes you are being selfish.

Leave and let her find someone who really loves her.

Korn4 · 07/10/2024 09:28

Well you sound like a delight don't you.