You know when you have stayed at too many hotels…..

[Auburngal]

When….
. You throw towels in the bath or shower tray
. You wire up lights to switches in a way that makes no sense.
. You buy those anti theft coathangers.

You carry on

You have infidelity wrapped teabags.

Or individually…

I understand we can edit posts now but I think I’m just going to let that one sit for a while.

You enter your room with a key card

You walk into your bedroom looking for the suitcase rack to lay out your clothes for tomorrow

All your tops are ruined as you maintain a ratio of 5:1 for coat hangers with clips to “normal” ones

You plug your woefully underpowered hairdryer in to the only place in the room which has no line of sight to a mirror

You change the order of the shampoo, conditioner and shower gel bottles in your bathroom every week so you get to play product roulette at 6.30am

You put on Euronews

You position electrical sockets so you can't use your laptop or charge your phone in bed.

You can’t see to do your make up anymore because you are saving money on the low energy lightbulbs. Everything in the house is like living in twilight

The receptionist greets you by name....

You make sure there is no socket by the mirror so you can't dry your hair and see what you are doing.

You have two sets of charging cords for your phone, iPad and laptop (one permanently in the suitcase for travel, one for home).

You know which work tops don’t crease/need ironing, as packing go-tos.

You have a ‘rider’ (my list of things I either ask for in my hotel room or go out and get immediately upon arrival, including 1L bottle of water, bag of lollies (for energy!) etc.

You have a second toiletries bag with a smaller version of every product you need whilst away, that stays in your luggage (ie doesn’t get unpacked at home).

As an aside I once stayed at a female owned and managed hotel chain in India. It was amazing - decent hairdryer with plug in front of a mirror and a diffuser attachment. Decent lighting (and labels on the light switches). More “standard” hangers than stupid clip ones. Magnifying mirror in the bathroom. Plugs and usb sockets at the desk and both sides of the bed etc

When designing it they had clearly gone through the list of all the things that pissed them off when travelling and fixed them all!

You place your mirror away from any useful work top or electrical outlet.

You buy a tv which despite being able to access free view to in the the UK, only seems to have three working channels and one of those is shopping TV. You secure it to the wall with a bracket of questionable quality. And you make sure the remote control only works sporadically.

You pay £9 for a rubbish sandwich to eat on your bed while watching Great! movies because it's the only channel on your TV that's working properly.

You have a desk and chair that is only ever used to dump key cards on. Under your desk , you have a tiny fridge with drinks in that you will never drink, but you do also have a tiny kettle on the desk and a tiny mug and think you'll have a nice cup of tea, but then change your mind, because the only water available is from the bathroom and you're not sure if it's drinking water, or the water bottle in the aforementioned fridge and you're worried it will cost £12. So you sit on the bed and admire the small piece of generic artwork and contemplate the meaning of it and who made it whilst wondering if all the other rooms have exactly the same one.

You get rid of the big light and have multiple light zones in one tiny bedroom

You come out of your bedroom and start looking for signs to tell you which direction the lifts are in.

You're suspicious of using your kettle!

You wonder what the stains on the sheets are…

You have way too much furniture in one room.
You have an array of annoying standby lights that annoy you at night but with no method of switching them off.

You have a loud rattly air conditioner positioned just over your bed, but you have no control of the temperature and can't turn it off.

You never walk barefoot in your bedroom, just in case the carpet feels ewwwww.

You spend 10 minutes playing 'hunt the hair dryer' until you find which obscure cupboard or drawer it's been put in.

Your shower only has two settings, boiling hot or freezing cold.

You keep a bag of toiletries, travel close up mirror, mini dryer and straighteners, travel slippers, pjs and packing cubes permanently in your travel suitcase

You don’t know the directions from lift/stairs to room.