Your favourite sayings and phrases?

[speakamore]

Someone just said 'He's so tight, he'd cut a fart in half and save half to sniff later if he could' I haven't stopped laughing to myself

I also love 'Tighter than a gnats arse'

On a more serious note, the phrase 'If they wanted to, they would'

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail

"it'll be fine"

It nearly always is. Breathe, and step back. It'll be fine.

No good deed goes unpunished

'You don't look 50!' (when said to me, obviously)

No fool like an old fool

Not my circus not my monkeys.

Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency.

Proper planning prevents piss poor performance.

That would be a you problem, not a me problem.

Do I look like I give a fuck?

(Hmmmm, seems to be a theme running through these 🤣)

"Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm".

My lovely Irish mum talking about her friend who never had much luck...

"If it was raining cocks, she'd get hit by a fanny".

🤣🤣🤣

Give your head a wobble.

"Don't bubbles up my arse!" - best friend from Ballymun

"When you're dead, lie down" - my Dad, south Wales.

Many a muckle makes a mickle.

What's for you won't go by you.

Also when I'm stressed but something is out of my hands... "Well that's a Tomorrow Arlanymor problem!"

This too shall pass.

When you're in a hole stop digging.

Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency

This was going to be my choice.

My dad always used to say "Fine words butter no parsnips" (he's still alive but hasn't said it for a while!)

My favourite is "A stitch in time saves nine".

I find it so motivating because I'm prone to procrastinating, but it's just so true. If you don't sort out a problem straightaway, it gets bigger.

Not a classic saying but my dh always says "it's important to be comfortable".

It works for everything. Clothes, shoes, nights out, choosing a house, friendships...

😂

He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

Don't wrestle pigs; you both get dirty and the pig likes it. Reminds me to pick my battles!

Dryer than a nun's tit.

Colder than a witches tit.

So unlucky, that if I fell into a barrel of tits I'd come up sucking my thumb.

Not my circus not my monkeys.

Don’t mistake my learned experience for a lack of ambition - someone I worked with would use this whenever the latest wunderkind was piloted into our dept and started pushing the same ‘revolutionary’ ideas that she had seen fail many times before.

Don’t accept criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard

Why have a dog and bark yourself?😄

Comparison is the thief of joy

For someone who always has to be the centre of attention: S/he'd catch the bouquet at a funeral
Also like Father Ted's that would be an ecumenical matter when the occasion calls for obfuscation