Trauma in the body

[MewithME]

Not sure if this is the right place for this but I've been thinking a lot about my chronic illness and the past trauma I've been through.

I developed MECFS after covid but I have been through ongoing stress and trauma from my exh for over a decade. I have done therapy. It's at a point where it has helped but it's plateaued and now it's just a crutch.

I have frequently thought I have trauma stored in my body. I startle easily . I'm triggered by things. I can feel a bit addicted to cortisol or adrenaline to push through work and I am an over achiever in some ways (not materially... in work and friendships and effort and have some perfectionism which I work on). I've done some work around the vagal nerve. Just meditation and breathing which can help but I wondered if anyone has had any treatment for trauma with EMDR or anything?

Just after some perspectives really. ESP if you have MECFS or fibromyalgia or similar.

EMDR is transformative if it's done properly. You need to find a proper trauma therapist qualified in EMDR and I would discuss what you want to work on.

I've done quite a lot of EMDR. It can be extremely hard going. You feel totally battered afterwards for a few days, recovering and then again the next week. But it's changed my therapy experience. I've got a lot of trauma.

Good luck!

Also look up somatic experiencing

Thanks @skinnyoptionsonly . That doesn't sound like something I could do with MEcfs as it would leave me too sick to function.

Interesting though. Maybe I would be able to visit it in future when my child is grown and I don't have to work so much.

I'll Google somatic experiencing.

I've been fighting for EMDR and may start some soon.

I firmly believe that I can't process trauma unless I work through it physically. Talking can get me so far, especially if it's an ongoing situation I find it essential to talk, but when all is said and done and I'm picking up the pieces it's my body that tells me where I am at and where to go next. I've been through quite a lot mentally and emotional and have always found yoga helpful (also check out TRE yoga, looks good). More recently I've had a couple of surgeries and hospitalisation and a lot of work is around rebuilding confidence and trust in my body - that can mean self care, mindfulness (more body scans, mindful walks etc.), breathing exercises etc. It all helps with staying present and not dissociating.

There's a book called The Body Keeps The Score which is pretty seminal in this area.

I have ADHD and somatic therapies is I think a really key part of me managing the OCD, anxiety, perfectionistic traits.

I find it very hard to verbalise trauma and to an extent self censor because I think what's the point as its past and I can't change it, but I can process it through my body.

Emotional freedom technique / tapping?

Also lots of meditation and slower breathing to calm your nervous system 🫂

This is going to sound really wanky (sorry!), but I have found that sound healing and breathwork for emotional release have both been really beneficial. Like you I have several chronic illnesses and a lot of trauma. I’ve done therapy (though not EMDR, though I know friends who seen tremendous benefit from it), but it was the sound baths and the breathwork where it finally felt like something came unstuck.

I got ME from stress, I had a year of chronic stress and it made me ill, five years later I still haven't recovered full but there has at least been some improvement.

I've heard there is yoga for trauma release, don't know much about it though.

Yes trauma can cause issues cases like fibro cfs etc. I spend my life exploring this as I work in chronic pain

Do not do Edmr unless you're in a safe and secure point in your life with regard to external factors. I didn't know this and ir completely fucked me up at a time when I was very vulnerable and afraid.

I completely relate to this. I have m.e which was triggered by flu but realised I had years of stress from a painful childhood too. Unfortunately I had a disabled child who also triggered me due to throwing things, screaming and violence so I developed ptsd from that and my m.e made me too sick to work even though ds is now an adult and living in a placement.

I have had lots of talking therapy but definitely feel trauma is stored in my body. My body cannot cope with stress and I'm hyper vigilant. Adrenaline leaves me incredibly sick. I think I'm also autistic and burnt out.

@mindutopia what is sound bathing? Don't care if it sounds wanky. I'm open!

@existentialpain I'm sorry. That sounds incredibly tough. I've had some tirggers lately that took me back to several years ago and it's really made me think. My son definitely gets autistic burnout. Hope you can heal a bit.

Thank you. It sounds intense and too much for me.

Yep currently going through a likely CPTSD diagnosis due to seeing attempted murder in childhood. I have problems with it somatising as stomach aches and fatigue.

I came on to recommend The Body Keeps The Score if you haven’t already read it, seen a PP has already.

If you Google window of tolerance it's very interesting.

I do a lot of breathwork, sound baths, trying to work on my nervous system response. It's not pseudo science it's very real to see vagal nerve theory

I'm doing EMDR through a RASA centre and it is amazing and already feels life changing. However it's definitely exhausting and I've had to take some time off work to rest and try to deal with the pandoras box I've opened. I do a job that is very trauma focused though so the issue was that my work was triggering things for me. The day of therapy and the day after I can be a bit of a write off emotionally but I still parent etc.

In all honesty The Body Keeps the Score is helpful but intellectually so. The most important thing is about getting out of your mind and its circuits and into your body and associating triggers with your body reactions and learning to recalibrate. I find trauma podcasts triggering and overwhelming. Get binaural beats on Spotify of wherever and look at somatic healing online. Get much more intune with your physical self and less thinking. It’s the challenge of a lifetime and I struggle and drink too much wine and ruminate like crazy. It’s a daily struggle.

I've done talking therapy.

Body wise best thing so far for me is wild swimming.

This book
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48386.Conquer_Your_Critical_Inner_Voice
has helped me a lot.
Instead of ignoring or denying your inner voice you do the opposite and allow yourself to sit with the voice and let the voice vent.
A lot of trauma is anger, fear, shame and other emotions that you have repressed and allowing them to be set free reduces the trauma.

I've been finding an osteopath quite helpful.

CBT was life changing for me, I think I will always have some trauma responses. I still startle easily and I hate being hugged etc. but I'm able to live a 90% less anxious life.

That's interesting you say about getting into the body. I used to walk. But now with MEcfs I can't exercise. I wonder if it's a bit of a spiral in some ways. The body can't produce the energy to cope with exercise but then everything is stuck. The usual releases aren't there.

Shame I'm single. Maybe sex would help!

I think I'm going to try and be more consistent with breath work and meditation for a starting point. But there's been some interesting things mentioned here. Thank you.

Mumsnet is amazing sometimes. You all know everything! I do appreciate you all 🙏🏻

Thanks for this thread