Trauma in the body

[MewithME]

Not sure if this is the right place for this but I've been thinking a lot about my chronic illness and the past trauma I've been through.

I developed MECFS after covid but I have been through ongoing stress and trauma from my exh for over a decade. I have done therapy. It's at a point where it has helped but it's plateaued and now it's just a crutch.

I have frequently thought I have trauma stored in my body. I startle easily . I'm triggered by things. I can feel a bit addicted to cortisol or adrenaline to push through work and I am an over achiever in some ways (not materially... in work and friendships and effort and have some perfectionism which I work on). I've done some work around the vagal nerve. Just meditation and breathing which can help but I wondered if anyone has had any treatment for trauma with EMDR or anything?

Just after some perspectives really. ESP if you have MECFS or fibromyalgia or similar.

@MewithME And thanks to you, some tips for me

Yes thanks for this thread.

@MewithME im glad. You have an auto immune and reducing cortisol is paramount. Meditation isn’t necessarily brilliant if you have trauma. Download Andrew Huberman Non sleep deep rest online and do a 10 or 20 min session on your bed. No meditation necessary and it will revive you and release stress like nothing else. All you need is headphones!

Lots of good tips on here. Thanks.

Also 8D Audio. It moves from left to right and it's been amazing when I've felt stuck.

I had ME for years and years. Diagnosed. Triggered by a virus. Couldn’t walk up the stairs at points. But what I eventually realised is that it was also a physical expression of emotional pain.

The ME only started to go away when I looked at that aspect. As well as not overdoing it, getting enough rest, eating well etc.

I never quite understand why people are so reluctant to think that there could be any emotional aspect to it. It is not saying that it’s made up or not real. Mind and body are one.

This is a great book, not 100% about trauma but makes interesting reading about mind and body conditions www.penguin.co.uk/books/446384/the-immune-mind-by-lyman-dr-monty/9781911709169

This x

Loads of really great suggestions and thoughts

I do or have done some of them - here’s one I discovered recently and fully embraced:

kicking the shit out of something

or hammering lots of nails

or punching a pillow

or ripping paper

or shouting

etc etc

😂

I like to imagine the energy being released into the ether and finding itself somewhere useful rather than being trapped inside me crashing about trying to find the exit and causing untold damage while doing so.

I feel stress so physically.

Since I've been on adhd meds they do say it brings ASD traits out more. For me I've had more sensory sensitivity. So I've realised that the emotions I feel are all felt physically in my body. If external stress is going on I have this feeling something is wrong, I feel anxious etc. At lower levels this is fine, it's a cue to take action.

But when it becomes too much it just becomes a stress cortisol cloud, I can't do anything and I'm sick with stress.

It's such a modern condition, I do think things like screens, lights on late at night etc all play a part in stressing us out. The body overreacts to things that aren't threats. Likewise being understimulated can be really physically painful!

I can also recommend a sound bath. It does sound like nonsense but it's really good if you get a big one with loads of gongs.

@BrightGreenLeaves agree.

It's a bit of a weird thing.

I have known it and not known it.

Like my child's autism. I sort of always knew he was autistic but then didn't really think about it. Like knowing the sky is blue. Then one day I was really confronted with it and realised...he needs a diagnosis and support and it needs to be properly faced and acknowledged. I am so glad we got the diagnosis and he's growing up with a supporting senco and a better understanding of himself.

Mecfs was diagnosed around 3-4 years ago but had a longer process of getting it confirmed by a specialist. I gradually realised the trigger. At first, people recommend low dose naltrexone and all sorts of things. Then I did the rest and pacing. Some small wins with some nutritional therapy. But lots of people on my online support group had mentioned their trauma and I know what I went through and how I have had huge amounts of stress. I think I am almost stuck in fight or flight.or at least it doesn't take much to put me in it.

It's only recently though that I've thought more about breathing and meditation again. Before it was about lowering heart rate to get physical rest. But I just feel something of a lightbulb about trauma this week. What if I could let it go and not let it be reignited?

What if the talking and the pacing are all just band aids? I think my body needs to let go of the trauma. I am going to note all these lovely ideas and experiences..some may not be possible with MEcfs but I'll take what I can. Really appreciate it. ❤️

Just to say on the sound bath front, sometimes the gongs can be quite overpowering and triggering for nervous system. If you've never been before I would start with a sound bath. Make sure you take lots of blankets and get really comfortable.

I’m better now but I still occasionally get flares ups, lasting a few days or a week. Flare ups need to have two components. A virus but then also stress. But more than usual stress, something more emotional.

The pacing is still important, but it won’t get rid of ME. Pacing is something that I still do, but I don’t call it that. I just make sure I get enough rest and don’t have too many late nights. I need more sleep than other people.

It may be that some people have ME without any trauma component. But for me, it was a central part of it. I think I always knew it too but it took a long long time to bring that thought to consciousness.

Re sound baths….I found the one I went to really dull. It was nowhere near as good as I hoped.

I feel so similarly. Stuck in freeze a lot of the time, and then fight or flight under extreme stress. I think having ND child who was very unwell for a long time has put me into a survival mode and then cumulative stresses with marriage split, legal issues, housing, work, finances, lack of income, all of it just profoundly affected my ability to cope with even the slightest thing. Somehow need to get back to a feeling of safety and it's very hard when you're in the middle of it all and can't move past it yet and file it as over and done with. I get to late afternoon and the anxiety just mounts. Trying to spend as much time in the sunshine today. Have a good day all. This thread has really helped me. X

My friend found out a lot about this years ago and shared with me.

There was a lot of research she told me about into repeated trauma and the effects of the bodies systems.

I totally believe there is a relationship.

Very similar experience to me. I don't think it'll be over until ds is grown and I get completely away from exh. I think that is a really interesting comment about feeling of safety. I'm going to think about that.

Safety and security are certainly priorites in my life now. Largely I manage it but I have been shaken by heartbreak, bereavement, work stress, ongoing stress with keeping my son safe and ok with his neurodiversity and bullying at school and his father, so I have to work at the safe bit.

And I think dealing with life alone as a chronically ill, single parent is just a huge weight mentally. I don't really think we're meant to go through life alone like this. It's too hard. In evolutionary terms, I would not be the fittest and would not survive if you see what I mean. Fight or flight is an ancient system in our bodies isn't it? The parasympathetic nervous system I think? I'm no scientist..I just read and ponder!

Interesting you mention weight. I think some people just carry more weight on their shoulders. And it has an effect.

You can even find research into emotions and arthritis. Inflammation and pain is worse when people have negative emotions.

if you bottle stuff up, then where does that pain go? It doesn’t just disappear. However, I don’t mean that as a dig. It’s extremely hard if you’re on your own. I think there are some things that can be done tho, like relaxation, running, boxing or whatever.

Im also interested in surpressed anger’s effect on the body. Something that is probably more relavent to women.

@BrightGreenLeaves what is the gist of the research into emotions and arthritis?

https://versusarthritis.org/news/2024/january/stress-and-arthritis-why-it-s-important-to-manage-your-stress-levels/

have a read of this.

A 2018 studyTrusted Source published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) looked at 106,000 people in Sweden diagnosed with stress-related disorders. Researchers found that PTSD was linked to subsequent development of autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis,psoriasis, Crohn’s disease, and celiac disease.

Hi op@MewithME I have very long term cfs that is finally improving after trauma work.Having met lots of people through cfs services , trauma of various types is quite common so it’s great that you recognise this !! some suggestions that have turned the corner for me 1. Somatic therapy of some sort… for me this was via craniosacral therapy by a lady who is also talking therapies qualified…have you heard of Peter Levine and somatic experiencing? The exact form of therapy doesn’t always matter but you need to find someone you can trust and feel safe with .2. Do Mindfulness rather than meditation…you have to reengage the body and create a feeling of safety in order to let go ,many cfs people live in a permanent fight/ flight / freeze pattern which never allows your body to rest and heal so it’s about starting to recognise your patterns ( you have already said you are over stressing your adrenal system to push through ) I have also done compassion therapy and other groups via nhs services which has helped. . …3. Tons of online free resources eg. You tube/ Google eg. Irene Lyon; the Optimum Health Clinic; Ans Rewire…people can often end up paying for programmes but I take what is useful from the free resources various people offer.

Thank you for this. The bullet points are helpful.

I've been doing a bit of reading since yesterday. Just tried an online sound bath. I know there's something going in as I have tears in my eyes.

There are quite a few practitioners around here in the areas mentioned.

This has been a hugely helpful thread. 🙏🏻

I don't have ME or CFS but have various chronic issues that I think are caused by stress and anxiety, including functional neurological syndrome which is where you get neurological symptoms (pins and needles in my legs and feet) but they can't find a cause.

One of the issues I'm finding at the .moment is that I'm acutely aware that the stress and anxiety I'm feeling is causing physical issues in my body. But that puts me into a vicious cycle as then I worry and stress that I'm making myself ill and I'm going to develop something even worse if I can't "get better" so that just piles on the pressure to fix myself and makes me fear the feelings of stress and anxiety even more. I don't know what the solution is.

Really struggling today so thinking of going for a 10 mile walk as sometimes the only thing that helps my mind is being physically exhausted. Not sure if that's a healthy behaviour or not!